currently getting stable and going thru a phase where i dont know how fast it would go or where it will took me, apart from that. i am happy.

and currently, ego consumes.
why issit so hard for me just to txt i miss u and so?

i dont know.
i just dont text for so long.

happy 24th birthday

yeah happy birthday. i wish u a great year and career ahead :)

why bersih 4.0 is rather stupid than bersih 3.0

in order for u to experience stupidity, and to experience the wrath of people who are living in malaysia, i suggest u not to read from papa gomo, or milo suam, or any mainstream TV in this stupid country, malaysia. those are fuck-tards who manipulate things around as they like, as for the opposition never really did a good job over here in selangor and everywhere else.

1. 1st of all, i just want u to open up ur eyes. and view things from a logical perspective. not from ur dumbfuck malay brain which technically given to us since birth by god's will.

2. put aside all of ambiga trivial facts, for what she is, she is an indian, she is president of these and that. hello there mr blind, look at bersih demands, and what are the people in bersih wants. is everybody who supports bersih is a gay, lesbian or LBGT wannabe? bodohnya. pity u dumbfucks.

3. this is my personal opinion. i just want BN to lose this one time. and u know what? im looking this at a bigger picture. with this losing, BN will be forced to clean up every corruption, every bad image, every bribes cases, every cronization (i dont know this word exist or not) ceased and give this country a new faces to lead, yes of course every powerful people will abuse their powers, and have a personal interest towards things, but how much abusive will they do? Anwar being gay or not, that is not ur business. he can be gay, as long he can manage this country well.

u see the opposition is unstable between each other? PKR-PAS-DAP fighting over? let me ask u, this world once hit with a virus outbreak, is that situation is calming? to wipe out the outbreak, is it stable for the world? a few health organization must have fight over it, over a vaccine, claiming theirs is the best. do u think a very crucial decision can be made in a few days time? think again.

p/s: do u know national auditors claim every year, 24 mil dollars gone without any decent excuse? - source, from a trustworthy friend of mine who work within the organization.

4. did ambiga somehow ruin everybody personal yards by having a pasar malam infront of ur houses? or do a stupid butt dance? or even fuck up ur business? for what i can see, during bersih, a few stalls and hawkers gain a lot. how come a fucking stall in KL claims 50k loss that day, the fuck? what are u selling? grade A+ nasi goreng? oh cmon. be wise, a wooden stall like that? 10k? is already too much.

5. veteran soldiers doing a butt dance and claim 100+ is a harom? lulz? LULZ? LEULZ? ah malunya, my people, my kind, ex-heroes (claimed to be one, entah2 kerani askar je)

6. the fuck owner of sekinchan ikan bakar claim to be the one who suffered the most during business? ur picture in a magazine and in a few places proves that. and yet ur joining bersih 4.0 for that reason of loss? ok nice story, need more boobies in it. and a fake ass too.

7. u claim ambiga has done damage, yes she did, did the gov done some damage to us? they did. open up ur eyes. PTPTN, highly living cost. is that thing alone enough?

i am not an opposition or a government supporter. i take things as they are, i am rather an opportunist, a realist, and an ideologist to be. not yet one, but soon to be.


well, since everybody is complaining around, gaji tak cukup, keje nak mati2, have u do some thinking lately?

take this as example :

"what makes a bank robber is more successful rather than a tax collector in terms of salary?"

the answer is RISK.

its not about the robber rob countless money by that one robbery, its not about the tax collector collects a lot of tax from every living people monthly, its just, the risk.

take a teacher, and a school clerk together, both have the same qualification. why is school clerk salary is a bit lower than a teacher? 

what risk does a teacher have? if he/she did not perform? and a clerk? 
what about a doctor or architect? and a nurse? whos fault it is if a patient or a building collapse? 

give it a brain tonight.

do u dare to take the risk of living? - ask urself  

#WW 18

worthy, shit.

saya boleh nampak "sparks" between us dah takde, bukan berkurang, lansung tak takde, tak wujud.

saya tak boleh nak buat apa-apa. sebab bukan saya yang jumpa awak dulu. atas angin. saya tak berhak atas awak.

just wanna let u know. im here. if u need any

4th time - things that i was unable to say

may 22, 2009. around 11 pm. i still remember that moment, very clear in this damn brain. i send that text. that one damn text which literally change every single things that happens from that moment until today.

this damn text.

"awak ni, satu apa pon tak boleh nak decide sendiri"

realizing i was in a pretty bad mood, baru bangun tidor, and u keep saying things u dont like and keep bugging me, i  get annoyed. and really, after a few hours and getting sober, i realize that is the damn one mistake that i did. 

but this is not what this post is all about. its not about regrets, its not about hate, its not about anger. its nothing but just in a form of totem of u, which is in a memory value, still lives and grew here in my mind. 

i didnt have the chance to say thank you, i didnt have the chance to say sorry. i didnt have the chance to explain this.

i've walking across this land, just to find answers, and unlock myself away from these things. guilt, rage, anger, everything. i tend to blame each n everything happens because of u. now i find that isnt relevant at all.

all these 4 years, i am fighting with my ownself. realizing i could not resist my ownself, i find and escape to this miseries. i tried, but seems it doesnt fit the picture of u and what u left in me. or maybe just not yet. not at this moment.

i dont think that u'll read this anyway. again its just me, expressing things that i cudnt. i cudnt face u. all these while, i am looking for a new self. a new energy. harmony. 

its not easy. to lose a few things in one go. but, thanks. for showing me the way.

till we meet again? i dont see any part of us meeting again. maybe someday. maybe someday :


gaming room idea.

i have this one dream yet to be accomplished. i want to build a gaming room which i can invite all of my friends to come and play together and also a comic room. like the one in summit parade BP. which is already close :( awhhhhhhhh

 idea one - too small. yet i am kinda tall. that chair wont fit me anyway. nice setting by the way if u only had few friends to come over.

 idea two - this is haih...serabut gila. better beli almari yang ada pintu kaca, so tak la berhabuk, tak la nampak semak camni

 idea three - kinda nice. tapi agak dull. tak tahu kenapa 

 idea four - this one is a personal favorite. keyboards tu maybe akan aku replace dgn katil and peti ais. luas pun ye. this one KIV.

 idea five - normal. penah pegi rumah kawan yg macam ni, tapi tak best sbb family dia lalu lalang, tak private. aaa

idea six - nice, easy, cozy, relaxing. tapi mana dia nak letak pc dia? and laptop? haaa ce jawab

which one is ur pick?

p/s : yum kau sendiri tak ada masa nak manage diri sendiri, lagi nak ada bilik mcm ni. sad

el diablo carachoo

sorry ladies, evil is back to steal ur boyfriend away.

p/s : i havent got my copy yet. they are out of stock i and i have to wait until tues/weds

1 week

i have been given one damn week to restore everything back to normal.

this 1 life.
this 1 soul.
this 1 room
this 1 self.
this 1 spirit.
this 1 energy.
this 1 condition.
this 1 darn love.

and its tough.


have u been into one? that "zone". that zone covered with several layers of people which u met, everyday in ur life. well. im going to tell u what zone ur in based on this live action case study.

the most basic form of zone is friendzone, which literally divided into these 3 major groups.

brozoned - a girl in a circle which involves a lot of guys which they guys doesnt really care about her gender and ask her to participate in only guys activities.

ex : yo alisa, malam ni jom pegi kacau pondan mentari court yok, pastu kita layan la shisha mana2. kau gerak naik motor ke kete ke nak aku amik. haa esok jgn lupa ada futsal, kau main striker.

siszoned - a vice versa of the brozoned. this time, guy become the victim of this circle.

ex : weyyy amin, habis class kita pegi buat kuku eh? kami nak tumpang hehehe.

nurul-zoned - this one is a bit complicated. this happens when "4 phase of losing" activated. this "nurul-zoned" is usually used when that particular girl loses interest in u and keep on denying ur requests. this can be either positive of negative, depends on the situation.

ex : iman, nurul rasa kan, nurul tak free harini nak temankan iman makan, nurul nak kena pergi print assignment, lepas tu binding, esok nurul nak submit, and esok la jugak nurul ada class pack. nurul mintak maaf eh iman..sorry cangat2


p/s : which zone are u in brothahhh?

#ww 17

dah lama tak buat #WW. this year mari start bulan ni. here goes.

the haramizer - LEULZ

tak tau la sapa yang buat acc mcm ni, tapi peduli apa? akaun mcm ni seharusnya di wujudkan untuk menyindir mereka-mereka yang jahil, yang berakal pendek, yang percaya bulat-bulat sahaja tanpa usul periksa, acc ini bukanlah satu serangan peribadi ke atas ustaz-ustaz, tiada lansung niat di hati.


haram bagi seorang ustard untuk mengharamkan. Hanya kami berkuasa mengharamkan semuanya!

Jason Mraz nak buat konsert di KL lagi? Album beliau "We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things" haram dimiliki kerana menggalakkan pencurian.

Hari Ibu haram, Hari Bapa haram, Hari Jadi pun haram. Sesungguhnya hari yang tidak haram adalah Harikrishnan.

Coklat Toblerone haram kerana mempunyai bentuk piramid; salah satu simbol illuminati.

Menyokong Red Devils adalah haram kerana ianya perbuatan menyokong shaiton. Sebagai alternatif, sokonglah Red Warriors. Gomo Kelate Gomo!

Memakai serban adalah haram kerana perbuatan itu menyerupai kaum Sikh.

Bridal shower dan baby shower mahupun golden shower adalah haram hukumnya. Shower yang halal hanyalah mandi wajib dan mandi sunat

"Bungy jumping" dan "skydiving" hukumnya haram kerana ia adalah percubaan membunuh diri.Party-jumping into PAS je satu2nya lompatan halal

Haram jika mempunyai rambut gaya dreadlocks. Namun, menyimpan janggut dreadlocks hukumya sunat muakkad.

Haram membuat simbol "Peace" kerana ianya simbol anarki yang dipopularkan oleh "V" dalam movie V for Vendetta. Anarki bukan konsep Islam.

Sokong Liverpool FC tak haram sbb Lagu You'll Never Walk Alone sesuai dgn konsep Islam; anda sentiasa ditemani 2 malaikat bukan?

Haram tidur sekatil atau sesofa dgn binatang peliharaan walau syg tahap mana pun, takut timbul berahi binatang/"bestiality". Jauhi zina!

Haram wanita main bola sbb menyerupai lelaki. Wanita hanya boleh bermain dgn bebola ketam & udang didapur, atau juga kepunyaan suami.

Pisang dan timun haram bagi wanita? Kalau begitu, limau bali dan tembikai susu diharamkan bagi lelaki.

Haram mengucapkan "T.G.I.F" kerana Fri-day adalah hari meraikan para "friar" atau rahib gereja. Ucaplah "Alhamdulillah Jum'ah Sudah"

Duit yang haram hanyalah duit yang terkena babi atau anjing. Duit hasil rasuah atau riba nampaknya belum betul2 diharamkan

Mendengar lagu2 death metal dari band seperti Demise atau Raise Hell tak haram sbb mengingatkan kita kepada neraka dan kematian.

Haram bagi isteri habiskan duit suami kearah benda2 haram, patutnya isteri perlu bijak belanja harta suami di jln yg diredhai.

Bermain gitar haram hukumya sbb alat ini bertali. Sebab itulah Guitar Hero dicipta! Lebih mematuhi syariah. Islam tak 100% haramkan hiburan.

Haram menggunakan produk dari Lebanon sebab adanya pokok Krismas yg jelas terpampang pada bendera negara ini! Sila boikot sekarang!

Sokong Arsenal tak haram sebab Stadium Emirates dibina atas prinsip kewangan Islam yang diamalkan oleh Emiriah Arab Bersatu. #arsenal #haram

Set alatan geometri haram kerana jelas kaitannya dengan simbol Freemason. Takut rosak akidah budak sekolah yang masih mentah!

Anak anda menabung dalam piggybank? Niat yg bagus tp caranya lari dari konsep perbankan al-Wadiah maka perlu diharamkan.

Duduk bersila haram sebab menyerupai sami2 Buddha yang bertapa dalam posisi Lotus. Duduk yang halal hanyalah duduk tahiyat awal dan akhir.

Tertaip character ini "†" di keyboard bila tertekan key "Alt+T". Cuak kejap. Patut diharamkan keyboard sebegini sbb takut terpesong akidah!

Filem"Fitna" karya Geert Wilders diharamkan sbb hina Islam. Fitnah2 di dada2 akhbar masih halal nampaknya. #serius

blue moon

the citizen deserves this. and those red-devils needs a lesson. 
oh well. 

"enam satu, enam satu, enam satu, skuaaad, skuaaaad tukar langkah, satu dua satu, satu kosong, satu kosong, satu kosong"

to hell with ur 19 times. pergi berborak sana dengan moyang aku dalam kubur. hidup kat dunia ni tak perlu la nak cerita benda yg dah lepas.

setelah seminggu

aku masih belum pulih dari kekacauan jiwa seminggu lalu yang di timbulkan seseorang. walaupun pahit untuk di telan, aku teruskan jua sisa-sisa dan saki baki kehidupan tanpa dia.

tapi dalam kepayahan hidup meneruskan kehidupan, masih ada juga beberapa perkara manis berlaku.

siapalah kita untuk tidak meneruskan kehidupan? siapalah kita untuk mengeluh dan jatuh tertuduk tanpa melakukan apa-apa?

a deep thoughts. who wudda think?

today i spend the whole day in the mall, alone. YES, OBVIOUSLY, state the OBVIOUS. haha. nothing actually. spending quality time alone gives me a lot of new perspective, a new view point, to see this world in a new dimension. a new and fresh thoughts. i am not joking about im being creative, super creative at times. i used to be a top notch mind back in my masscomm days, top notch of improvising raw ideas and manipulate it over and over again. u can say somewhat i am a fat malay version of tony stark. with an attitude.

okay enough that bragging intro of me. what im gonna share today is somewhat, not a material for me, even to give a flying fuck about what is going on with malaysia movie scene. shit people is giving shit and ridiculous excuse - WHY IS MY MOVIE ISNT PLAYED AT A BIGGER HALL and FAMOUS CINEMAS. why cant a MALAYSIAN win HIS OWN COUNTRY AWARDS and shits. i aint not going to mention any names here. i am going to do some inception in ur brain, to give a push, to ur dumbfuck brain.

entity 1 :

lets take jason statham for example. everybody knows jason statham. he's fast, he's strong, he's charming, he got the muscles, he got style, he's got martials art, he never been beaten or hurt in any of his movies.

entity 2 :

lets take transformers or alien kind of actor, they are CGI's, they are just..WHOA. they can fly, they can jump, they can blow a planet off, they can do things jason statham can do, to make it fair, out of 10 people, 8 choose transformer, 2 choose jason instead.

entity 3 :

i never heard in any E!buzz or any blog or any source saying, jason statham is butthurt because he isnt OPTIMUS PRIME, he isnt butthurt at all when his movies are in one line with the avengers. he didnt care bout his failed movie BLITZ. he didnt complain he didnt won any award, he lose to the MIGHTY OPTIMUS PRIME, didnt he? he didnt make a fuzz, shia le bouf won, that kid, he's skinny, a dumbfuck like u, he cant jump, he cant fight, he cant walk away from big explosion.

and this is my shit :


tentang hati, repost for the 2nd time.

Hati itu sangat rapuh. Silap cara boleh bercerai dari badan. Hati itu bukan saja fizikal, tetapi juga halus. Hati adalah tempat perasaan kita bernaung. Hati mempengaruhi pilihan kita. Baik atau buruk. Pengaruhnya kuat. Orang tua kata ikut kata hati boleh mati. Sebab itu bila bercakap soal hati, kena berwaspada... kerana ia merbahaya.

Kita ada berapa hati? Cuma satu. Kalau kita dilukai, sakit nya kita rasa dihati. Aku tak tahu sebetulnya rasa sakit itu di mana, tetapi orang kata sakitnya rasa di hati. Jadi kalau hati sentiasa terluka dan dilukai, lambat laun hati kita boleh rosak. Hati yang rosak boleh mengundang maut. Orang tua kata kalau hati sakit boleh mati. Sebab itu bila bercakap soal hati, kena berwaspada jangan sampai terluka... kerana ia merbahaya.

Hati adalah tempat hidupnya cinta, kasih dan sayang. Ia ditanam dalam hati. Kemudian berbenih dalam hati. Lalu berputik, bercambah, berbunga dan akhirnya mekar kembang di dalam hati. Cinta juga menjadi layu dan akhirnya gering di dalam hati. Tapi hati perlukan cinta, kasih dan sayang. Itu sumber kehidupan hati. Tanpanya hancurlah hati. Tiada penghidupan, tiada nafas dan tiada hangat. Orang tua kata tanpa cinta dalam hati boleh mati. Sebab itu bila bercakap soal hati, kena berwaspada... kerana ia merbahaya.

Aku juga ada hati. Semua orang ada hati. Dan biasanya aku takut nak berbicara tentang hati. Aku cuma takut akhirnya aku yang tersungkur kerana hati aku gagal berfungsi. Aku takut aku yang lemas tenggelam kerana hati aku hancur berkecai. Aku takut aku gagal melihat hari esok kerana hati aku akhirnya kosong tanpa cinta. Aku takut aku benci melihat matahari pagi kerana akhirnya hati aku tiada lagi. Jadi aku amat takut untuk bercakap soal hati.

Tetapi kebenarannya, hati aku terus sakit. Kerana walaupun aku tidak bercakap soal hati, tetapi aku tak pernah berhenti berfikir soal hati.


I just got back from mid valley, watching cabin in the woods. Because the system is down so i earn a few days ticket home early. So i decided to get home early, head mid valley and enjoice. The movie is kinda mindfucking, i get to see the ugly clown from Stephen King's It, werewolf, zombies, armies of jack the reaper, bunch of psychos and american urban legend creatures.

But wait, i aint disclosing this movie spoilers, u gotta go and watch urself. Just now i happen to have problems with tihani, her chains loose and dislocated from the path, so i have to manually push my bike, from the motorcyclist tunnel in lingkaran syed putra in to jalan klang lama, lucky me, not far from a small mechanic house, it was a small damage to her. Nonetheless its was a lucky day.

Next i decided to fuel up tihani and there is this one guy. I observe him for a quite sometimes while handling the atm machine, he heads to everybody, seems like asking questions, after paying my gas, he heads to me and ask where is bandar kinrara, i said go up straight, u'll see a sign board and next he tell me he is from bla bla bla bla, and he ask me for a small favor, he dont have any money for any gas and he is lost. Gave him 3 dollars, and i can see his face, its a face where i dont have or most probably lost long time ago, a happy face. And without saying thanks he parks his bike and heads up to the counter and fuel up, and so do i. I was like...eh budak ni..ah biarlah.

And he came back, thanking me for the help i offer.

I can see now that help, even a small one, cud change someone's life. Since im writing using my tabs, im lazy to write longer. Tak feel lah.

"lend a hand, offer to help when u can, always"

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sup, its been 2 weeks.

its been 2 weeks since i've wrote things here, i've been busy, and occupied with few things, #twtupipoh, medical condition and so, and also a mild heart problem. i mean not medically related to heart problems and issue.

put that aside, i was a champ in #twtupipoh, i won. sadly, tak ada followers baru. hahaha. makwe pon takde. gambar pon takde sapa nak amik. saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad. lain la mekdi ke atok ke lukas ke am. bahaha sokay. tak penting pun tu semua. what matters is i won, and enjoy the day. breakaway from normal routine, kerja, stress and so.

i want to talk about bersih 3.0. which is on my personal point of view, and again i want to remind u that ur opinion isnt needed, and also ur approval isnt needed too here.

whats is bersih actually? what are the demands?

1. bersihkan senarai undi.
- ada sesetengah pengundi yang dah mati, tapi boleh undi, ada yang tak wujud, tapi boleh undi, ada yang berwarganegara indonesia, tapi boleh mengundi - care to explain me what is this shit? make sense tak?

2. reformasikan undi pos.
- undi pos perlulah lebih telus, kadang2 entah dari mana je benda ni di pos, alih2 keluar je dari box, kami baru terima undi pos, sistem baru undi pos haruslah di rangka, untuk memastikan undi bersih.

3. gunakan dakwat kekal
- pernah jumpa asshole jenis suka beratur 2 kali untuk dapat minum air milo free kat sekolah tak? kesnya sama mcm ni, so bila kau dah undi sekali, dakwat tu kekal kat tangan kau, so biar orang tau, anak haram ni dah undi, dia takkan buat rosak undi lagi

4. akses media bebas dan adil
- tak penat ke tgk bullshit dalam bernama, tv3 and so on? hari2 hentam pembangkang, adil ke? dalam 1000 benda buruk pembangkang buat takkan tak ada 1 pon budi dan bakti diorang provide?

5. masa berkempen minima 21 hari
-this is to ensure every party cukup masa untiuk berkempen, untuk melaungkan janji janji dan manifesto masing tanpa ada sebarang isu berat sebelah

6. kukuhkan institusi awam
- institusi awam sekarang kukuh ke? pegi cuba tunggu KTM, 18 jam baru sampai, and always crowded.

7. hentikan rasuah
- taknak tanya bong moktar ke camne dia boleh kekat boolart and chomeyl mcm tu? acane tu? ke tanya mahmud taib acane dia boleh hidup cukup lama, apa guna dragon ball ke?

8. hentikan politik kotor.
- isnt this ugly enough? kau kan semua ada mata, kenapa masih tak nampak?

which is i think these all 8 demands is relatively relevant.

and i find mereka yang keluar statement "NEGARA NI DAH CUKUP AMAN, BERSYUKURLAH" adalah bodoh hakiki.


kau tau tak berapa tense nya racial n ethnicity kita dalam malaysia ni? those chinese, those indian, those bumis, those awang hitam pun sekarang dah pandai demand. maybe kau duduk dalam persekitaran yg macam UITM, tak rasa those racial tense, tak involve dalam alam pekerjaan, tak rasa lagi racial tense untuk dapatkan higher position, just because dia chinese and konon2 pandai pastu berasal dari uni oversea dia lebih layak naik pangkat. no. there is no plain justice. tapi ini bukan apa aku nak argue or ketengahkan.

rakyat bukan bodoh. aku bukan perusuh, aku bukan pro gov or anti gov. aku nak something yang significant, something yang boleh benefit semua orang. something yang boleh buat orang rasa worth it untuk vote gov or opposition to get their voices to be heard. tuk dapatkan hak yg adil. tak kiralah sapa dan apa.

the logic is here, kalau kau tak curi something dari somebody, and selagi orang tak perasan, orang tak marah, bila diorang notice? what? do u think people are blind ke? duh.

and those who rejects BERSIH sebab kepala BERSIH is ambiga ni supports LBGT, isu murtad, i find u guys are pretty stupid, those war is her war alone. to hell la dengan LBGT dia, to hell dengan dia nak bawak isu murtad, sekarang ni fokus kat bersih je, which means kalau aku agree dgn terms kau sekalipun, tak bermakna aku nak execute terms kau. boleh fikir logik tak kat situ?

katalah mak kau suruh kau pergi kedai beli this this and this, tapi kau pergi kedai beli this that and those. as simple as that.

i went to bersih 2.0 last year, wearing choc, and still get my ass chased by those police in abdullah hukum, what did i do? i do nothing. is this considered as aku ni mat rusuhan?

of course in any rally mesti akan ada something bad happens, lagilah kita ni melayu, semangat assabiah mengalahkan orang arab sana, lucky tak jadi mcm UK, they burn down a building tahu? kalau klcc tu kena bakar? kenapa? tak pernah tgk rally dalam CNN or History channel? from who, for who and why?

kalau kau rasa kau tahu sangat pasal how SPR works and how clean this election, pls tell why why sharizat jalil won over nurul izzah in 2004, sebab ada peti yang entah mana datang sebelum tamat waktu mengundi? does it makes sense for whos leading over 2k votes lose suddenly?

do u know the background process of SPR? engkau siapa nak claim pilihan raya ni adil? kau ada kerja dengan SPR ke? ada nampak mcm mana it works? jangan jadi rakyat boneka. bodoh. main belasah je. konon cukup lah negara aman n cukup pakai, kau tau tak bertapa siksanya kena oppress. even a malay myself pon i feel oppressed.

and i want to share some funny thing here, yesterday nampak ada satu hijabster ni retweet pasal ustaz azhar idrus yang berbunyi mcm ni la "kita ni sejak2 mendalami ilmu agama, cepat benar kita menjatuhkan hukum ke atas sesuatu" lalu aku manual RT, yg berbalas eh tau pulak, ingatkan tak sedar diri tadi.


p/s : ingat, kita ni bangsa melayu, bukan tuhan, semuanya takkan siap terhidang depan mata kita.