the lockdown

the lockdown has taken its toll on me, mentally, and physically. today is day 5. i did nothing but sleep, eat, smoke pot, had a couples of dimitri's cousin, lasida. was an okay day, but tired due to not doing anything.

anyway. its work from home season, so i was lucky since i just bought a new PC! YAY! idk whats wrong with my old computer, i had recently installed ssd, and everything seems to be okay until i cant update my windows, and it keeps going into blue screen.

the first format - last about 2 weeks before it gone blue screen again. so i thought, must be the ssd. so i get another ssd. and the same shit happen in a week. i even sent back the 1st ssd to repair, which isnt damaged at all.

and i tried to reformat again, and it happened. that was the line drawn there. so the next morning, i went to get my new pc. after considering and upgrade for the old pc, which would costs almost half the price for a new pc, better ambil pc baru. and so i did.

i went for amd this time. lepas being so loyal to intel for so many years, rasa mcm nak try la amd. not bad. so far so good.

upgrade the whole set, and got me another ssd. which is m2 ssd where u just attach it dekat motherboard. best, boot pc takes only seconds. less than 10 sec.

so heres the specs.

amd ryzen 5 2600
gigabyte a320m s2h v2
600w power supply - hydro k
m2 ssd
nvidia rtx 2060 ti with ray tracing systems
and t-force 16 gb of ram color.

damage? 3200+/- lepas discount. puas? yes aku puas. beli dekat mana? beli dekat racun tech. yes. kedai dia mungkin jauh nun di setia alam sana, but the price sangat okay, berbaloi.

heres the final product

casing dia a bit smol, tapi ok la kot.later ada extra might upgrade. the games? semua boleh bubuh setting ultra high, fps dalam 160-120 depending the game. so far cod full graphic settings is superb. been playing cod since last thursday non stop. jadi tahi. ni dah wfh ni entah apa la jadi

also. sila lah stay indoors during this restriction order. only go out when u really need it. wear mask. wash your hands. less social media. people are going nuts out there, and i am here thinking that i am the crazy one.

btw, check out this song -

LP - lost on you
LP - tightrope
LP - when were high.


was down, for the count.

hello. whatsup? its been a while since i got the time to actually come here and write something. transfer thingy happened. was the worst few weeks of my 2020, and it doesnt end there. i was down, for the count, last week of feb due to some viral/bacterial fever. this time? ina hospital bed.

i thought i could take a few days off and recover on my own, but it wasnt like that. i had to go to the hospital because i cant breathe. my nose/nostrils are blocking air. i had to breathe using my mouth. they tested me for influenza A and also corona, results were negative. then the took lots of blood. day in day out and find out i had this bacterial infection in the blood, with bad bad tonsil, which already bloody and infected.

took me 4 days, 4 bottles of iv drip, 4 bottle of super antibiotics which kill everything (well they kinda did). the pain? dont ask. i was in pain due to the veins being dripped/antibiotic, also the meds turns me super weak, nauseous, unpleasant headaches. it doesnt stop there. after i went home, i had to took tablets form of em. i was out of commission for almost 2 weeks.

now, im almost recovered. hence, the update (still had to finish the antibiotics). and last thursday i went for a follow uip, and we agree to remove my tonsil after raya. right after that, proceed with the laparoscopy to fix my bad bad gerd/acid reflux.

i learn alot actually, regarding my own health during my time there. no wonder when im asleep, but i am still aware of whats happening around me. my sleep, wasnt the "sleep" im supposed to have. due to my tonsils, i develop sleep apnea. sleep apnea (common name snoring) was in the way of my sleep. due to my brain doesnt fully shut down during the sleep, it doesnt/cant release the resting hormones - which contribute to fatigue, sleepiness, tiredness, problem to lose weight, all the stress.
tbh, kinda regret my decision of not doing it sooner. i was given a referral to remove my tonsil few years back.

there. thanks for visiting, you know who you are. bring me foods n stuffs. i will try my best to take care of my ownself after this. do not nag to me like im 3 or something. also, will try my best to come here often and tell you stories.

for now, thats it.

i look like shit waktu ni. i cant get my ass out of the bed. i was out for 12-13 hours a day. hahah. hence the AR version of me

one decade.

my december has been a wild ride from the start, until the very last of it. its 332 am rn. and i cant sleep. theres a few things that lingers inside of my head.

as you all know, or might not know. i have been transferred to johor. particularly mersing. starting on 16/1 onwards. im battling a battle which i cannot win obviously, begging the boss to let me stay but he drops the ultimatum already. and the only thing that can save me now, is my old bosses mercy.

either i drop the lob im doing right now, and float for a couple of months, before i get a pos within another lobs. which is not going to happen in this shortest of time, but im trying. hopefully theres someone out there who would take my place, and i'll gladly took his. at this point, beggars cant choose.

but thats not the point.

the truth is.

i cant cant leave here, because i have you. my biggest concern? leaving you. im not done yet...heck i didnt even start yet. i had so much planned out for 2020. god.

then all the other things too. but it can wait.

i am not ready to for distance, between us. not yet...

and today i had fun. i get to spent my day with you. and i dont know why it does feel like its the last time im gonna see you. it never happened yet, but to me, its already happening. i dont even remember what color are youre wearing today. i barely remember your smiles without look at the camera gallery, pictures we took today. part of me, regretted that i didnt take as much photo together. i have no intention of not taking pictures together, or even show you off in my soc meds n stuffs. what you and i have, is something special. something so sacred, so pure. only you and i knew whats going on. in our own world.

im thankful. i learned a lot from you.
to end this decade with you, i want to do it. i'll do it a 1000 times. over and over.

"until every stars in the galaxy dies and fades away"

something about time, something about distance.

i know you'll find me here. 


right now, isnt the best time to be playin. this, needs time. us, needs time. im sorry i lashed out just now. its just the noise i cant silence them. 

look, this is what distance did to us. soon, test of time. we gotta figure out. do something. few more weeks ahead to look forward to. stay to the gameplan. until every stars in the galaxy fades. 

some great other weekend

hei-ya. sorry for not coming here so often. i've have been busy for a while. juggling in between work, projects, and also some other business.

im gonna briefly talk about esports development - exciting times. last 2 week theres this event LVL UP, held kat KLCC Convention Centre where its like our own mini E3, i went there, as a guest and have a look myself on whats going on. theres syed saddiq there to address and introduce the malaysian team competing in next week SEA Games. kinda exited that finally esports get their chance to be featured in such sports event. its a start. towards the esports growth in SEA, especially here in malaysia.

theres tons of booth on that day, from developers to cosplayers, to showcase their game developments, projects. you name it. they even have this talks on how to groom yourself to become streamer, pro gamer, and also of course from the esports people in the industries. to talk about the growth and future of the esports.

malaysia still have a long long way to get to that pioneer level, but damn sure it starts right here, right now.

and heres some of the picture from the day.

here at the event, tickets courtesty from Whats The Meta! team

i get to test play the GIGABASH game, 100% develop by our own local developer. which is pretty nice. it has super smash bros vibes, with their own unique character. it has 4 character atm, and definitely there will be tons of other char to play with

anyway thats me, weebing myself out

met fiera fendi, awesome as always. 

kinda want to try this iron man VR games but the que is too long. sigh. i waited like 30 mins and the dude wont stop playing. 

again, me but this time i sign up with lapar esports team, our official partner!

considering how are things gonna improve from here on. i have been working on some personal projects too. to convert twt_dota to some esports portal that will cover news, mainly in bahasa, and also will start to produce our own content. we currently the paper is being discussed, and i look forward to this projects. not only dota, but every esports games that we could get our hands on.

till then,