trial number one.

hey-lo.

everything seems well. but not my my mind, according to the shrink i've been seeing for the past 18 months. from sleepless-ness. and from there, theres a lot. she said i might have abandonment issues. somewhere between-ptsd/adhd, a lil bit of anxiety. nothing serious. slightly depressed, moderate hypertension - due to sleep, lack of rest, meals. 

but worry not, i think i can handle this. giving up isnt me. heck if i were to give up, i gave up long time ago. 

trying so hard to keep my routine in check. sleep time, meal time, work time. i guess with a couple days/weeks of adjustment i might adjust right into it. 

anyway. 

nothing much to do lately. ordered a book from MPH and it seems like they have to order it from sg and it might take sometime. a book about how to be positive (cliche), recommended by a friend of mine. must be a reason why she introduced me the book so im giving it a try. 

neway, pindah rumah is delayed. TBA. and i bought a gaming chair! been eyeing one for so long. lazada haritu ada sale so sambar la satu. 1499 down to 999. ok why not

tadah! from TT gaming, royal series. originally 1499, lazada birthday ada off 999 so belilah satu. pretty decent. sebenarnya sama je semua gaming chair ni, manufacturer yg sama but then brand lain2. seat is bucket seat, adjustable 180 degree lean and handrest. plus ada lumbar pillow and neck support. try to nexflix and chill on this gaming chair. the best! (also i bought a lot of things too on lazada but none worth mentioning haha)

i guess this is the epitome of being an (single and depressed but high functioning) adult, and i quote chuck palahniuk in fight club 

“You buy furniture. You tell yourself, this is the last sofa I will ever need in my life. Buy the sofa, then for a couple years you're satisfied that no matter what goes wrong, at least you've got your sofa issue handled. Then the right set of dishes. Then the perfect bed. The drapes. The rug. Then you're trapped in your lovely nest, and the things you used to own, now they own you.”

okay, 30 mins past bedtime. i should go. see you in the next post? 

ja!

p/s : one of the "happy" pills that ive been prescribed. this one is menalat. last time i were given rameron, previously im sticking with atarax. being licensed and legally crazy/wacko/depressed aint fun yo. gotta spend 7-8 sesh in 3 months with evaluation. u had no idea. but worry not, im not insane. not yet hahah