definisi seorang makwe power

aku boring. sekarang ni, aku tengah stuck dekat kedai nasi ayam kukus dekat taman medan. hari hujan. aku buka laptop, sambungkan internet tablet, aku mundar mandir, kehadapan dan kebelakang, layan blog2, layan timeline twitter yang rata-rata bertemakan cinta. saban hari cinta.

benda biasa, twitter, tempat budak2 hangout pon. orang berkerjaya dan matang yang serius dengan hidup tak hangout sana.

jadi, aku pun rasa macam nak menulis something, berkenaan cinta juga, iaitu, pempuan.

jadi before aku elaborate topik kebosanan aku petang ni, rata-rata aku tengok, baik muda, baik tua, baik yang hipster ataupon old school, semuanya nak jadi deep. kebanyakkannya yang dalam twitter, semua nak ekspress diri dalam nilai yang terlalu dalam, sehinggakan, tiada sapa yang faham.

ya, ya, sila facepalm. kadang2 pun nak gelak, perkataan yang di guna, tidak wujud. tidak pernah di dengari, ataupun paling bangsat, salah di gunakan. *pasang lagu scoin - orang yang ku sayang-sayang*.

jadi aku tanya diri sendiri, kemana perginya golongan makwe yang gemarkan lukisan. kata art, kata deep, berbanding dengan kata-kata bermakna, lukisan punyai nilai yang lebih deep. sebab, dalam lukisan, tiada perkataan. tiada perkataan, maka, idea nya tidak berpenghujung. motifnya lebih deep. tengok berapa kali aku guna perkataan deep untuk gambarkan bertapa deepnya makwe yang suka lukisan ni. paintings. tak kesah la conteng ke apa ke.

makwe baking? cupcakes? pavlova? macaroons? durian crepe? sorry, golongan seperti ini sudah terlalu ramai dan layak di brozonekan serta merta. sama jugak dengan makwe islamik yang lagaknya seperti putus cinta. jangan terperangakap dalam cinta sesat mereka kerana allah dan juga mencari penganti setelah kehilangan segala-galanya.

jadi pencarian makwe yang paling ultimate adalah kembali di jalanan. tanya diri sendiri, berapa kerap makwe bermotorsikal kuasa tinggi yang anda pernah jumpa di jalanan? rata-rata, semuanya terlalu power untuk di berikan diskripsi. pergilah lepak ke mana2 TTS bersama bikers. tunggu makwe ni buka helmet lepas tu lepaskan rambut, datang kat table tu, salam brothers calit gua cakap lu. rare siak. rare.

makwe main video game? bosan. diorang ni bila kita beri perhatian mulalah nak slutting for money, lelaki pulak kalau jumpa makwe jenis ni, bakal jadi dubuk liar yang horny. show off, marking kawasan. hekeleh ingat gua nak sangat mengorat makwe yang main game ni. kebanyakkannya main sebab bosan, buat dengan niat nak jadi gamer yang betul2 professional. ingat aku tak pernah ada makwe yang jenis main game ke? ada la. lepas satu ketika, bila diorang dah grow up. gaming ni hanyalah suatu persinggahan je bagi diorang. rata-rata main game pc, kalau nak jadi seorang makwe gamer yang super rare, mainlah ps3 dengan title video game original, tak pun, jenis makwe layan arcade game di mall2.

idea makwe rare, bagi gua. mungkin awek2 yang sukakan aktiviti yang tidak di lakukan oleh awek2 lain. paling mudah, awek2 yang betul2 kaki pancing. or awek2 yang sukakan hobi-hobi rare yang lain. macam minat alat musik angklung ke, main tarian piring ke. kahkahkahkah memilih.

tapi tu la. saje je share berkenaan makwe2 ni. its just opinion. jumpa makwe yang 24 jam nak share nasihat cinta, rasa macam nak backhand je. tu belom lagi mengajor makwe2 lain untuk hidup di dunia, yang meroyan kesakitan akibat cinta, yang dok tweet zodiak, itweetgirlsdaily, thenotebook etc. cmon. takkan hidup anda seboring itu? there is a lot more to give in life. actually living is more meaningful. do not be afraid to make mistake. 

moral :
kalau cari makwe tu, biar susah, umpama sebutir berlian di dalam padang penuh periuk api. rare tak?

Big Bad Wolf 2012

went to the Big Bad Wolf 2012 in Miecc the mines last night. doing somebook hunting. heheh dah lama tak shopping buku. last year pergi tapi sadly tak beli apa-apa. sebab terlalu banyak sangat buku until u dont know what to buy for urself. buku yang sebelum2 tu pon tak abis baca. but this year ada beli a few. 

but i am kinda disappointed. new ideas/raw ideas/biography/history/philosophical books arent a lot to choose on. novels dia pun kinda dull. but overall, ok la. better than any other bookfair that i ever went. i mean the books. dari segi pengelolaan, patut dia kena lebih teratur and systematik. demand pulak. ye ah aku dok sort buku ikut writer, since before beli aku google dulu buku-buku dekat goodreads dengan amazon before turun beli. tapi bila pegi berterabur warghh. 

the main entrance. 


 the floor plan of the exhibition


buku ini adalah essential bagi jantan-jantan yang hatinya sudah mati. serius. get this book. ini adalah lebih bagus daripada hookup yang di lakukan rakan-rakan yang selalunya end up dengan kena buddyzone, or paling teruk, kena brozone. or friendzone.


 this is the books that i've manage to get. nasib tak overspend. rm 68 aje.


the crowd pukul 2 pagi. gila babi. selalunya kalau nak tgk ramai orang pepagi buta mcm ni, kena pegi pasar pontian, sebab ikan baru nak naik.

the beautiful letdown

i had my birthday celebrated last friday. in a bar, kota damansara area. the saints bar. thank you jeeva and bell for the cake. its quite a cozy place, with the live band performing that night with a very good selection of songs, i feel great. btw its my 1st time hanging out in a bar. kinda jakun at 1st. i was like, pergh macam barney seh, balik kerja lepak bar. and also, in this life, the 1st time i ever blew a candle on my own birthday cake. can u see? ngahaha.


here's the cake. "Happy Birthday Gemuk" keji -_-

thank you very much. jeeva, bell, fara, dani, paan, fefara, iji, kimie and those 3 girls entah apa nama.

travelling last week really is really tiring. and i have to work on saturday this week. and i am looking forward to this coming tuesday. sultan selangor punya birthday. which means rest time.

have a blissful monday. fill it up with positivity and energy.

siat

menjalani realiti kehidupan tak perlu lah nak belagak macam awak tu sekeping episod tumblr yang penuh dengan post lengan di hiris pisau cukur dan ingin hidup di dalam rumah yang di ikat pada belon2 di udara. lopsided-fuck you smile, deep, broken, bitter selalu, got issues and etc.

mulut ada cakap. takyah nak suruh manusia lain figure out sangat

betul ke penggunaan "sekeping tumblr" tu?

berapa lama awak peram diri awak dalam balang kaca? konon-konon awak yang paling matang antara 6,973,738,433 orang dalan dunia ni?

bercinta pun putus 401491723 kali, masih mahu beri nasihat cinta periodically dan ada kecenderungan membunuh diri.

tak malu tak malu.

oh ya, terima kasih di atas ucapan rakan2 semperna hari lahir saya. semoga allah merahmati kita semua

Mary's In India

terima kasih yang mengucapkan selamat untuk saya semperna ulang tahun hari lahir saya. usia saya? usah cerita. tua bangka kata a.samad said.

kita sering alpa, tentang perkiraan usia 9 bulan ataupun terpulang lah berapa lama kita berada di dalam kandungan ibu kita. atapun apakah kebajikan yang kita telah buat kepada dia selama kita sudah dewasa ini?

saya sering terfikir tentang hal itu.

saya pun sudah terbiasa, terdidik untuk tidak menyambut ulang tahun hari lahir. kalau menyambut ulang tahun hari lahir kawan-kawan, saya pandailah. apa lagi untuk buat parti mengejut untuk kawan-kawan, saya yang paling handal.

sampaikan hari lahir kali ini, mungkin juga mak dan abah saya lupa. apa tah lagi adik beradik yang lain.
tapi tak apa, saya mmg sudah lali dan hati juga sudah tiada punya rasa apa-apa.

teman istimewa? tiada. sambutan istimewa? tiada.

mungkin kini saya masih belum berhenti mencari jawapan yang saya cari-cari. tentang perihal satu teka-teki yang hilang.

selamat malam. kini saya setahun hampir dengan kematian.

charley

i spent december 1 weekend working until 3. while preparation for krabi is done for now. hangout with paeh dani n ogy at my apartment pool. in the rain. watching malaysia vs indonesia, dine in murni bukit jalil with 2 bongs of shisha as our bff at night.


later that night, i had a thought. i dont have any idea what am i doing all these time. and since "that" moment, it gives me chills. all i do is hangout with those boys, not even give a damn that i am in a middle of a relationship. 

i am not motivated at all. i am not inspired at all. i dont have the urge anymore. to start, or even spark a fire. i feel dead. 

damage. that is what i said. that is what i have in mind. here. and here. *pointing out my head and heart*


cak-ce-kin

"nobody will escape that the fact they are doing things they hate the most" 

bahasa melayunya ;

cakap tak serupa bikin.

bahasa "deep" nya ;

double standard.


conflict and 25.

25, mungkin ada yang akan kata umur ini last. umur ini yang akan menentukan jarak pemisah antara umur remaja dan dewasa. kebanyakkan rakan sebaya yang dalam umur ini semua dah bekerja. rata-rata ada yang dah berkahwin juga. 


tapi itu bukan isu. yang di cari bukan isteri, yang di minta bukan duit. tapi kestabilan hidup. itu aku. mungkin ada yang selesa bangun pagi pada hari minggu di temani isteri, bagi mereka yang bujang, mungkin bangun pukul 2 petang, mungkin ada juga yang berkobar-kobar bangun awal pagi semata-mata nak pergi berdating dengan tunang/makwe sendiri. 

bangun pagi di hari minggu tanpa ada apa-apa plan tak seronok. bagi mereka yang dah biasa bangun pergi untuk kerja. macam bangun pagi tanpa hala tuju, tanpa ada sesiapa untuk di ucapkan selamat pagi cinta etc, bagi aku pengertian bangun pagi dah takde matlamat.

apa makna hidup kalau semata-mata bangun pagi lepas tu nak wish dalam twitter kemudian tido balik? bangun pagi, makan sarapan tgk kartun lepas tu nak kemas rumah yang dah sedia kala sudah berkemas? kalau tak kerja pun takkan nak pergi opis keje?

malam minggu kebiasaannya akan di spend untuk lepak tgk bola dan isap shisha bersama member2. bagi yang dah berkeluarga, mungkin akan balik kampung untuk makan bersama family, layan cerekarama. 

ini baru kita cerita pasal konflik weekend.

dalam umur ni aku banyak berfikir. tentang baik buruk. realiti kehidupan. komunikasi. hubungan dengan kawan-kawan. kestabilan diri. menyesal dengan perbuatan diri sendiri yang lepas-lepas.

tadi pagi aku sarapan, datang bengali tua jual cincin dengan tasbih. sambil menghirup teh o suam, aku berfikir. am i going to be like this when i reach 50? where am i going to live? do i have any kids or wife?
what the hell is this old man do with his youth. mana adik beradik dia? 

jarang sebenarnya nak memikir isu2 deep mcm ni selain tgh berak dalam toilet. paling kuat fikir pasal hutang study dulu yang tersengguk2 membayar. 

umur macam ni, kata orang-orang tua mcm pakcik n makcik aku enjoy life. duit yg ada tu simpan, kalau nak enjoy tu enjoy la. tapi bagi aku, sebagai orang yang hidup tanpa kekangan dan banyak masalah, apa sebenarnya maksud enjoy? 

sampai harini aku masih tak paham dan dapat menyelami pengertian enjoy.

mungkin zaman-zaman lepas enjoy tu makna nya marathon tgk series n main game dari malam sampai subuh sbab habis exam n study.

maybe.

maybe.


and i am gonna get off from my facebook and twitter for a while sekali lagi. im confused. 

seasonal gaza-war and freedom fighters.


taken from @leona_dja from twitter.

"gaza is bleeding. it has been like that for years. i do not tweet about them because i am not a seasonal pro-gaza. i am always pro-gaza"

this is something new. 

apart from people saying : 

"hekeleh takkan baru nak promote #PrayForGaza wey? dari zaman nabi diorang war"

"sharing SAVE GAZA is having no effects unless u guys really do take actions. setakat chant around save gaza n tukar dp takpun promote topic trending SAVE GAZA is useless [di sertakan status iringan acah-acah abang gedang dan minah hot aktif]"

i was like, the fuck? 

dont u know that doa adalah selemah-lemah senjata untuk umat islam? nak pergi kesana mmg tak mampu. tak payah cakap nak kesana la bro, cerita kau pernah tak volunteer diri sendiri pegi buat amal jariah join mana2 movement pegi derma darah ke, bersihkan rumah orang tua ke? kau lagi rela baca buku, main gym, main video game, pegi berzina dengan makwe kat mall2, kau ada hati nak cakap mcm ni?

jangan double standard fucktards. yes i am angry. statement kau seolah2 menidakkan wujudnya fungsi doa. ultimately, kau tak percaya usaha manusia. dan kuasa tuhan.

kita bukan umur 18 nak keluar ayat :

"hekeleh kalau askar tu sanggup recruit orang nak pegi ke palestin sana, aku pegi la weh *dabik dada*" - kenapa nak tunggu askar? jalan kaki sendiri tak boleh? macam mamat bosnia pergi haji jalan kaki.

gua kat sini bukan nak preach or acah2 jadi hipster tak pun jadi ustaz yum yummy yummeh. gua kat sini nak nyatakan sesuatu yang nyata. sesuatu yang lu semua tak pernah nak sedar tak pun mmeperkotak-katikan kuasa doa.

tak cukup dengan orang mcm ni, datang lagi group2 yang ban bebarang amerika dgn israel membabi buta. what are u? dude mcdonalds malaysia tu dapat daging lembu dari mana? lesen dari mana? pekerja dia dari mana? takkan semua dari israel? pernah dengar perkataan ORIGINATED or ASSEMBLED tak? kau dah tengok ke belom financial files dia satu persatu? ada masuk bank of israel?

and kalau betul tegar dengan komited nak ban, tak payah seasonal. aku nak tgk kau hidup tanpa intel n mac, or paling mudah, without mcd's, starbucks and dunhill. 

duh seriously those mayan people is correct. the end is near. 21/12/2012.

what the hell people is thinking these days? semakin hari semakin urban, semakin hari semakin bangang dan bangang.



variables



i dont think a lot of people do watch this, and guess what, comments everywhere. with or without brain. but it came to my understanding that nurul izzah's statement can be misleading.

it isnt about whos playing the role. i doesnt have to be political enough to understand this. there is no need for  media to manipulate this statement into something else and fool people around.

"kebebasan beragama blah blah blah blah, termasuk orang melayu"

so tell me. doesnt that make ur dad inherit islam from ur akkong, and u inherit islam from ur dad, and maybe since it is too liberal and islam bukan agama paksaan, ur child will decide to practice taoism?

this is malaysia. and we're mostly malays (minus those pork eating and alcohol consuming ones) we are born and inherited down the religion from our ancestors. and that statement carries something malicious if u took em wrongly.

this isnt about politics u dumbfucks. this is about reading in between the lines and silver linings. who give a fuck about statement manipulating if the mind already receive something that dangerous as this. i didnt say izzah encourage people to murtad and live freely without any religion, but i am concern her statement toward those people here in malaysia obviously.

everyday, melayu di modenisasi, melayu di urbankan. (selain di arabkan oleh para saudara-saudari hipsters dan hijabsters)

and i didnt say this is wrong. i am saying ini tak patut. and there shud be beberapa opinion lain yang kata statement dia tak salah dan bersifat terbuka. there is 7 bill people in this world and there is alot of opinion and perceptions towards this. i am jolting mine's down.

i'd say, either u are going to oppose the gov, or on the move with the gov, berhati2 ketika membuat statement. and kalau membangkang, kalau baca paper, kepala otak jangan bias sangat. tak semua kerajaan buat tu salah dan tak semua pembangkang buat tu betol.

kenapa nak beriya-iya? ada yang keje gov tapi dalam diam menentang, dasar tak sedar dek untung. takkan semua dari sana jahat?

fikir sendiri.

updates.

i find myself in a new environment early november. new people. new things. new job. new perspective. and currently im having a long holiday starting wednesday, and only get back to work on 19 nov.

on march i hard 12 days rest, and raya too, 3 days before raya and straight up until merdeka baru kerja. kaw-kaw cuti.

i think i am going to head back to home town on monday or tuesday. mom wants me to meet some ustaz for these night terrors that i am having lately. by the way it stops last tuesday. the last dream is about mirrors. when i try to look at the mirror and start shaving, it cracks. and then i went out, every single thing that made from glass cracks. the mirror, the mug, tv, window. name it.

and the next day it is done. no more night terrors.

i had to admit, these few weeks was hard enough. dealing with personal problems, career. relationshit.
no matter how hard i lied to myself saying things are going to get better, supposed to lah. it didnt change anything.

taking a few days off helps. i did visit my aunt for these past 3 days, makan home-cooked food instead of makan junk foods, crappy foods. mengaji abit. tido. and i start listening to dr intan. personal panel doctor. she said that i am not that fat anymore. all i have to do is to add fiber in my diet. i can still take any food in any quantity but i need to take snacks in between. fruits. green apple, almond, not roasted, dhal, anything with high fiber. so that the fat can be absorbed and turned in to energy. since i have a very tight schedule everyday, not to mention have to climb up stairs. moving here n there, my daily calories distribution is balance, and as well as maintaining heavy stress, does release enzymes that slowly burn all of my fats away.

did a thorough medical checkup. x-tray, bloodtest, eeg, urine and everything. i was declared healthy.

i shud be on pangkor by now, but the people from the resort call be back in tuesday morning saying there will be storm and ferry wont take people there, they want to refund but i said nevermind, a reschedule shud be enough.

oh last night i had fun, playing laser tag and having kenny rogers in ioi mall with scem office puan naha, moji, kak su and people from KJ. thanks to abg izat sbb invite. best gila. now i know what will happen if ur body keep pumping adrenaline.  tekak kering, heartbeat naik, jadi aware dengan keadaan sekeliling. laser tag is so much intense dari paint ball, cuma minus the pain la. and ada scoring points. so boleh tgk siapa tembak siapa, who had the most point. i did 3rd. codename andromeda, with 2430 as my score. 2nd place is moji, kak su punya score rosak, puan naha 1100 je, sad

tmr KCR gonna compete in ACG 2012 in ftz asia cafe, subang. will attend, and hopefully they will gain something from tmr match. winning or losing doesnt matter. what matters is they tried.

stay safe people.

im off to friday prayers.

a dream

i had a weird dream. snakes, something not human, consuming alcohol. and stuff. waking up every morning losing all energy. it wasnt sleep at all. i was asleep but i am aware. its like going under.

1st day, i was attacked by a women figure, she's knocking on my windows and when i try to open up and she screams. i woke up and realize it was 7.45 am. bathing in pure sweat.

the next day i am having a dream about snakes. i can see myself sleeping, and there is a black-red colored snake sleeping besides me. waking up 7.45 am. again in pure sweat.

the next day is the same. the snake sleeps above my head and start hissing, as he is prepared to attack.

and this afternoon after sleeping almost 20 hours, i was dreaming about drinking 2-3 cans of carlsberg and getting caught by a women in hijab.

the similarities of all of these series of dream is i always wake up tired. bathing in sweat. and im not sure either i am sleeping or not.

i did my research on google regarding dreams with snakes and alcohol. none of them were pleasantly described. it was the same with the dreams. it was not pleasant and entertaining at all. plus the headache u get waking up from a bad dream.

i called my mom. and she said somebody is going after me. i tried to dismiss her fear by saying dreams is just a game. another realm of satan trying to put me astray. i had 3 weird dreams before. it was a major thing. an old man came and wanna be friends with me, and want to share something. and i was taken to a bunian village during my time in uniten.

and she told me things. doa, baca ayat kursi 44 kali sepanjang malam. and some air penawar she gets.

i wonder what will i have tonight. i dont want any snakes, or any non-human figure. wasting myself with 3-4 cans of booze or any unpleasant dream.

is this the end?
in case u guys notice something happens, or i might not be acting like my usual self, or u notice that i did lose some weight drastically, do give my mom a call.

and i am going to bed again, right now.

yum, 11.52pm. 4/11/2012.
its home here in kinrara.


q & a : 2

Q : what are you sure of?

A : dying and spending the rest of eternal life in hell, begging for mercy, each and every second of it.

sedihnya.

tgk payslip, kena tolak dekat 4 angka.

tapi kata hati,

tak apa.

ini semua untuk awak, duhai bakal isteri 

:)

Q & A : 1

Q : why does it hurt so much just to feel/experience love?

A : because pain exist to feed on love. and to take as many as it can from u. and ultimately, to make u, not u.

the AES camera shit.

the AES camera issue is causing so much hype these days. implementing AES does have it purpose. china and taiwan have been using this system and it is proven to lessen the statistic as much as 40%. (as they said lah, they havent release the data yet to the public to see)

so, since everybody is so upset about this camera shit, i think i am going to share my opinion here.

so, why AES

my answer is this, the very basic law pon orang break. langgar traffic light. so in order for everybody to learn a lesson, is to implement this AES system. so, u can do the math urself.

the pros :

-it is believed that AES is super efficient in doing its job - the best photographer ever. no matter how fast, no matter how many car there is, AES will fucken catch em all. '

-it is also believed that company whos behind the development of AES is getting high commission from every summon police issued - i dont know about this, either this is the opposition party agenda or it is true. rumours are spreading. fast.

-from speeding to some minor crimes, AES will get his hands on those culprit picture.

for now, there 221 known location of this AES camera. and it is said the full installation will be done by mid 2013.

the cons :

-this camera is against drivers logic. imagine, driving 80 kilos, trying so hard to pass the lorry infront of him. and there is nobody else on the road.

-if the speed limit is 80 kmh, so driving 81 or 85 pun sudah kena ka?

-how do u know that the camera is not rigged?

-confusion. the camera flashes, and there is around 6 car on the road. and wrong people is getting the summon.

-and will the victim get his summon with all of those info, how fast he was going, where and when, the exact time and date.


so, if ada lagi nak tambah, mohon share di ruangan komen di bawah.


p/s : kumpul je saman ribu2, cukup masa tahun ada proses pengampunan, bayar 30%-40% je. lulzyah



resesi

they are going to disassemble the team, and i am so tired. with everything.

i am tired, waking up everyday telling myself everything is going to be ok, dont give up.

i dont think i can keep on doing that.

let me rest, for a while

things can go wrong

this short article is write just because i dont feel safe anymore. i have been harassed by one scary-psychopath chick last feb and i dont think i want to go thru the process again.

look. social network nowdays isnt like what it used to be last 5 or 6 years back. like what we used to have back in i think in friendster and myspace era. that time. in this era, there is facebook, twitter, 4sq, flipboard and tons of others apps which can be used to tell the whole world what are u doing, with who are u with, exactly where are u right here right now in real-time and live streaming updates. i think 7 of every 10 people walk around with smartphone with data plan these days. they might be ur friend, ur colleague and it might be anybody.

and as i watch taken 2 last week. there is something that get me bothered. what if you didnt control who's in ur social networking profiles. random people. which we dont aware who or what of she or he is made of. sharing the place where u live in foursquare can lead to many bad things. as for girls, they might dont want stalkers to follow them while taking the lift up to the apartment. imagine the next big picture - rape, robbery, murder, etc.

besides that. whatever status post or any tweets with or without us knowing, people get hurt. alot. everyday. every single second. either u are his or her friend either ur not. people is watching. people is reading, watching, every of ur actions. waiting for the right time to jump in.

that is why these things have come to my concern these past weeks. lagi la dah kerja ni. u go and meet people. vendors. jumping ranks. u dont know people might get jealous with u. and u dont know how they will deal with it. in the newspaper - shooting here, stab that, acid here acid there.

i dont feel safe anymore. i dont even feel safe to write things upon my facebook wall these days.

these days, only one profile sign in, in any social networking can be connected thru each other. sign in facebook will bring u to twitter, blah blah blah blah blah. and every post u did in any apps will be posted there. and u might want to control those people who are watching u and knowing who they are.

and that is why i think, staying anonymous and provide as little information as u can, can eventually save ur life. anybody cudda be celebrity now days. hot people over facebook, tweetfamous over twitter, pretty people over instagram and all of those shits.

what say u?

bundles

and meet me there, bundles of flowers.
we wait through the hours.

winter shall howl at the walls, tearing down the doors of time

shelter as we go.

and promise me this,

you'll only wait for me only, scared of the lonely arms

surface far below these words

maybe, just maybe i'll come home.

who am i? darling to you?
who am i
going to tell you stories of mine
who am i?

who am i? darling to you?
who am i?
could be a burden in time, lonely.
who am i, to you?

i come alone here
i come alone.

here


ben howard - promise


going shopping

i think i need to do some shopping. my messenger beg dah nak putus dah. seems like nak jait pun dah tak boleh, kat tepi tu putus, sad. lama gak pakai beg tu nak 2-3 taun. anyway cap mont blanc kot. harga sesuai dengan pemakaian. keke 

oh ya i desperately need a pair of new shoes and sandals. please. help me, i dont know how to shop by myself. 

beg lama lebih kurang mcm ni. nak putuih dah tepi dia. i am so sad...



i did some online browsing kat boutique mont blanc tadi, mcm nice beg ni. oihh harga dia. zzzzz. maybe kat downtown ada design mcm ni, harga lagi wayyy to cheap than ori ones. dah beli yang ori sekali, jadilaa


maybe i am going to join #teambladers soon. soon enough. coming soon. he he he. tgh berguru dengan sifu bladers dulu.

 projek R4 akan di hentikan seketika. dana makin hari makin tiada...entah dah pencen baru boleh jalan projek ni

House M.D


house season 8 ended just now. i feel like crap. totally. i bet u guys had this feeling too when ur fav tv shows ended. i watch a lot of tv shows till it ends. but there is a few tv shows, when it ends.

duh that feeling...
and of course we have to live with the fact "nothing lasts forever"

i've been watching house since i was back in puncak perdana. season 2, house is my only source of entertainment.

house is an asshole, pretty much like myself. i am an asshole myself. the only thing matters to him is "puzzles" he dont give a damn about feelings, relationships, etc. all he care is about himself and life's mysteries and puzzles.

altho he treat people and everybody else like crap, deep inside of him, there is a lot more to offer.

the correct word for him is tough love.

"everybody lies"

"everybody dies"

"one day, one room"

"my life is just horrors after another"

"they could build monuments after ur self-centeredness"

my personal house's fav line.

i guess this is the end. hugh laurie dan david shore decide this is the last season of house. i'll guess i'll be seeing him in the movies.



discord-do. in japanese

literally discord means disagreement. i have nothing to say to each and everyone of u

its just, u dont know how hard i try. everyday. its repulsive, the way i living life.

" until u learn to give up every single thing u had, every single morning  u wont learn to appreciate what u have right now"

private jewelry

i had this one diamond that i like the most. i talk to this diamond everyday. i dont know how did i get my hands on this one diamond. but one day, the rightful owner of the diamond show up, asking me nicely to return what is rightfully his.

if ur in my place, what would you do?
i had a few things in mind.

he lost the thing, and out of a sudden, i came into my possession. whos fault it is?
eventho he did leave a mark there proving that diamond is his, he just cudnt just show up want it back.
and the diamond isnt really mine to begin with.
what will happen if i keep what isnt mine?
and what will happen if let go things i like the most?


hati mistik

"sakti dalam hati, nadi biar rasmi.
kicau dalam sendi, nanti biar sendiri"

time-continuous lapse

to those who are damn too stupid to understand the title, i suggest u not to go for google translate, instead of doing it. press X on the top right corner.

this is me, projecting my anger, towards things that beyond my control. i am not pissed off to the several beautiful you. yes, you.

do u know we live in a world where time and space take part in deciding ur fate and destiny? and another known fact that we all know is, i am no naruto. i cant be here and there at the same time.

look, i am the person who doesnt give a shit about this one stupid question "nak makan kat mana? kau decide, tah, aku pun tak tau" SHIT.

i take control of my decision most of the time. i know what to do, what to decide, whos heart to break, with who shud i be right now. if i'd say i'll be there a few days before it happens, it will happen, unless something happen.

if u can read fate and destiny, yes, preach me. i am pissed off to be called, mat bual or whatsoevershit. i was in the middle of the road and something came up. which is utterly more important than u do. i know my priorities. to whom shud i go, at what time. something came up, and make joke out of it, i pretty dont like it. unless i was sleeping, or i was doing stupid things.

there is time where i need to work where i dont even want to work and its not even my job to begin with. there is time where there is some people i try to avoid not to hang together with.
there is time where i am not able to make it because i was out of reach.
there is time where i am not able to make it because i need to take care of my family matters.
and there is time where i did make a promise, but yet i cant make it because, i just cant make it.

"so jangan berjanji lain kali, kalau dah tau tak boleh"

dude, mana nak tau kalau ada apa2 tiba jadi. beyond my control. kau ingat aku suka2 janji lepas tu kensel sesuka hati aku? jangan jadi bodoh

shit happens. unless i tell u 3 minutes before and cancel another next 3 mins.

and that, my friend, grants u the right to call me with whatsoever name.

looking.

for these few months i am looking for something, something that cant be obtain over self control and focus alone. peace. inside out. ease at mind, ease at heart

u dont earn peace within oneself by go home early after finished working, u dont earn peace when u say sorry to someone. u dont earn peace by just listening to some soothing songs. no u dont.

i believe that peace lies in one's mind when he can balance himself between rage and serenity inside his head. and become one with his surrounding.

unlucky me. i havent get to that point. all that left in me was regrets and rage. letting go was never easy. forgiving was never honest. i'd say it because i had to say it. not because of i meant it. i say things people want to hear instead of saying things i wanna say.

for once, i tried to connect those dots in this life, and of course i encountered a few missing dots. sometimes it doesnt make any sense at all. but i keep looking. and keep looking around. until i find one.

seek god is one of the answer, but how do u seek answer that lies between himself? nobody can answer it, unless he answer the question himself.

dont worry. i am okay.



macam ni ke pengertian fisabilillah awak?

*facepalm*

sebut pasal filem "innocence of muslim", fuhhh terus sekor2 melenting. ni semalam kes baru, acc facebook mamat india kena hack, ramai pendekar jalan tuhan pegi pukul n serang dia kat rumah dia malam tadi. fuhhh ganahhh bohh ganahhhh

Akaun Peribadi di Republik Facebook

"bunuh rogol bakar je kapir lahanat tu" - Ali RockaRocka. 24 tahun, Republik Facebook
"burn his house, beat his mother" - Jibum Abang Gersang. 19 tahun, Republik Facebook
"bodoh, takde otak, harap esok bala turun atas dia dengan family dia, kapir lahanat bodoh sembah berhala" - Aisyah Mawar *avatar ana muslim* umur rahsia, Republik Facebook.

Page-Page Membenci Sana Sini

"Berapa like untuk tgk keling babi ni kena pukul, kalau setuju like, kalau suka, komen"
"Tolong like dan komen, gambar keling babi ni admin dah upload, padan muka dia"

babi hape korang ni sekor2. eh halo, aku nak tanya sikit, kalau bandingkan nabi dengan kita, takyah nabi la, mmg tak terlawan, bandingkan berapa lama umat islam zaman dulu berlawan dengan orang kapir ni berbanding dengan kita? rumah nabi sendiri kena lempar tahi, ada dia pegi tikam orang lempar tahi tu? ada nabi pegi perang suka-suka sebab dengar orang kapir sana hina islam?

satu lagi, ada ke dalam mana2 kitab suruh kita pegi sembelih orang kapir bila dia hina agama dgn junjungan kita? ada? kalau murtad ada ah, ah tak payah murtad, nampak budak melayu minum arak kat asia cafe ss15 tu takde pulak kau nak lempar dia batu. yg tak pegi semayang jumaat takde pulak kau nak terajang rusuk dia suruh pegi semayang, ini orang kapir yang tak tau pape takde idea pape pasal agama kita kau nak pegi rodok dia anak beranak?

apa beza lu dengan binatang? apa beza lu dengan orang gasar? ada orang kata dengan aku, aku ni sekolah ugama ke tidak, tu kan fisabilillah, fisabilillah kepala kakek engkau. ada dia ancam nyawa kau? ada dia ancam anak bini kau? tu fisabilillah mana punya konsep? ayah pin? bangang, undang2 suka2 kau je, fatwa suka2 engkau je.

orang kapir ni kita perang dia dengan "dakwah" bro. bukan dengan sepak terajang, bukan dengan maki hamun. tgk filem innocence of muslim punya effect, orang kat kedutaan AS kat mesir mati. ada mamat tu join buat filem? atas nama dia AS dgn dia half-jew kau dah boleh amik nyawa dia? mana wahyu kau turun tuk buat benda2 mcm tu?

harap pakai avatar ana muslim, berkopiah, tadah tangan doa bagai kat facebook, bodoh nya bertalu2, bodoh bertingkat. usik sikit mengelabah tetek. bangang. malu la wei malu la bersaudarakan sesama islam mcm korang.

gua nak ajar lu satu konsep, konsep kat mana cikgu sekolah ugama aku ajar, cikgu nizam. mudah katanya kalau kita nak belajar jenayat ni *jenayah* kalau ikut syllabus sekolah agama johor. aku tanya, kenapa eh cikgu kita nak kena potong tangan orang mencuri ni, tak ke kejam?

jawab cikgu nizam :

awak tahu najis? cara-cara bersihkan najis? kenapa ada kategori najis? dan kategori benda2 untuk menyucikan najis? cuba kalau awak cuci najis, dengan benda najis, jadi suci ke tak najis tu? macam tu la juga perintah allah. untuk menyucikan. potong tangan tu bukan potong terus mcm tu, ada syarat2 dia. hukum allah ni sempurna. adil dan saksama.

kalau orang yang takde idea pasal agama kita, lepas tu hina, kau terus pegi tikam, selesai ke masalah tu? penah fikir tak? suci sangat ke kau g tikam dia? ke kau menambahkan beban yang umat islam sedia tanggung? idea yang islam ni agama keganasan? pantang usik terus parang atas belakang?

sampai umur 25 ni, aku pegang kata2 cikgu nizam.

p/s : udah2 la habiskan masa kat fesbuk. takde pekdah

yummeh movie rants - RE : retribution


so i manage to get myself to the cinema last weekend with naim. gay boy nights out. and here goes my rants.

the movie is okay actually, and i try to put myself as the audience yg tak pernah main any resident evil series or have any idea about resident evil, its quite ok. based on the game pun mmg RPG-shooting, so action-packed gila babi mmg wajar di expect.

but bila aku letak diri ni as fan, as a gamer yang mmg betul2 follow resident evil ni, aku quite kecewa sebenarnya dengan jalan cerita. aku respect Paul W.S Anderson sebab movie dia semua best2. mcm Quentin Tarantino, J.J Abrahams, Spielberg, Michael Bay, etc2. sepatutnya dah masuk 5th installment movie ni, tak sepatutnya barry, jill dengan leon keluar mcm tu je, they shud have their own story line. kalau orang tak tau : "oh itu leon, hero baru movie no 5 ni, dulu hero carlos, tapi dah mati" sepatutnya relationship leon-clair, clair - chris, jill - barry, wesker dgn past S.T.A.R.S unit kena ada their own story line.

and berkenaan las plagas, mana lord osmund saddler? dari mana umbrella dapat las plagas? mana pegi unit B.S.A.A yg chris join lepas habis kat raccoon city? mana watak ashley graham? mana pegi shevas alova? jack krauser mortal enemy leon pun patut tunjuk. movie ni 3 jam pun takpe. sebab, best. walaupun kurang element2 yg mcm aku nak, ia tetap best.

i hope if any sequal ada lepas ni, and aku yakin 100% pasal ouroboros lak, harapnya jalan cerita tu expend, cerita pun dah heavy dengan tembak2, kalau ada twist drama sikit lagi best, boleh tau indepth apa benda sebenarnya RE ni. this is good for the audience tau, gamers, producers, game developer, dia orang boleh develop or re-develop past games. aku yakin tak ramai tau pasal watak hunk, dr birkin, shelly birkin, mikhael, ucbs, etc2.

so malam ni rants aku pasal movie. and of course, game.

severe headache n flu tonight,
btw, ini 1st time aku cuba scheduled posting since aku banyak idea, tapi aku takde masa nak type, so type dulu n dia akan post bila aku push button kat tab.

aite. ja~ne.

Many Of Horror


You say "I love you boy"
But I know you lie.
I trust you all the same
And I don't know why.

'Cause when my back is turned,
My bruises shine.
Our broken fairytale,
So hard to hide.

I still believe,
It's you and me
till the end of time.

When we collide we come together,
If we don't, we'll always be apart.
I'll take a bruise i know you're worth it.
When you hit me, hit me hard.

Sitting in a wishing hole,
Hoping it stays right.
Feet cast in solid stone,
I got Gilligan's eyes.

I still believe,
It's you and me
till the end of time.

When we collide we come together,
If we don't, we'll always be apart.
I'll take a bruise i know you're worth it.
When you hit me, hit me hard.

'Cause you said hello,
It's where the going get's hard,
Our future is far,
Many of horror
Our future's far,
Many of horror
Our future is far,
Many of horror

I still believe,
It's you and me
till the end of time.

When we collide we come together,
If we don't we'll always be apart.
I'll take a bruise i know you're worth it.
When you hit me, hit me hard.

sacrifice


The soldier slides his sword into its sheath
Having completed the missions given to him
Grateful to be one of the few men to leave
After hanging his life on war's proverbial limb

...

He has done his duty...he has given his all
Then to country, home and hearth he returns
But he can not read the writing on the wall
That the heat of battle eternally burns

...

He can put his trust in no one
For the enemy still eats at his soul
Caught in a hell with nowhere to run
Believing nothing will make him whole


This sacrificed soldier will always bleed
Whipped and tortured by the thorns of war
Rejected and scorned by those he freed
Stoned for his deeds on a foreign shore

...

The blood on his hands refuses to dry
A constant reminder of where he has been
His will to survive fights with his wish to die
In this carnal world of throw-away men

...

He has seen too much....killed too many
Propelling his god just beyond his reach
Searching for life's true meaning, if any
Soul swaying, fore'er standing in the breach

...

Time proves only the war still remains
Its hands stirring the grains of orange dust
An endless tune resounding in horrific strains
Its death knell extolling the demise of the just

...

A prisoner of war is this sacrificed man
Dwelling in a camp of suffering and pain
His soul at the mercy of the great I Am
Caught in a world where nightmares reign

...

Will he ever find peace here on this earth
Before death's fingers encircle his throat
Or will peace remain just beyond his girth
Abandoning him eternally to a land remote

...

Will no one heed the gutteral cries
Of this bleeding soldier swaying in the wind
Seeing his own soul burning in demonic eyes
Fighting eternal battles which refuse to end

...

No greater love has any man
Than to offer his life for a friend
Some do not fully understand
The sacrifice made in the end

u dont have to worry

maybe this is a cowardly way to tell a few people not to worry about me. i am living my life happily. i do have more friends than u all do. i dont hate few people like u all do. i do things u all didnt do. i am free from almost everything. i do what i want. i am very healthy/active not like what u all had in mind. i dont have any trust issue. i do enjoy living on my own. i rarely get sick, i rarely get boring because i had a lot of things to do. eventho im done playing video games, there is still a lot of things to do. u cant judge me like that, maybe u know me well for the 1st 15-20 years in this life but u have to remember things changed beyond that number. i do love my job. i do love my friends. i love the way i live this life for this time being. i had no rage inside of me no more. i dont have enemies that i need to take out.

miserable arent u?

i did a lot these few years. yup. a lot.

and i am happy.

Brother

A brother from another mother,
An equal brother.

Yet..

Why do we have to fight each other,
When we can have it all together,
Help me understand you,

Brother.

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.9

the two lost souls.

two lost soul waiting to be found.
roaming the world as they feel alone and shy.
situations comes and go as they are bounded together.

......

there is no more anger, there is no more torment and hurt.
reaching out and leaving past.

.....

into our deep. 
dear silent.
let us stay.

fat.

in almost every circle of people, there is always one or two people who is extra large in size, which their function is to listen to people from the same circle with their problems.

"do u think am i that fat?"
"i need to lose some weight"
"the world is against me, dont u think?"

but those people did not really realize, or even care, about that "one fella".











p/s : bersyukurlah.

meant

have u lost something lately?

let it go.

because u cant always get what u want.

if its meant to u, it will.

redha.

-yum

it ends here.



last sunday the internationals 2 for dota 2 ended. i've watched 80% of the match. speechless. those guys is at their best. LGD unstoppable winning streak, the comeback of Na'Vi and EHome. IG dominating.

IG won that tournament. 1 million dollars. its crazy. kita yang hidup mcm org biasa ni nak dapat sejuta pon entah bila. this supports the statement that "cyber athlete as a career is logic" and who knows there is cyber athlete university is going to be open soon.

lets meet the winners.

Invictus Gaming - from left Ferari.430, Faith, Zhou, YYF and Chuan

2nd place goes to Navi - 250,000 
3rd place goes to LGD - 150,000
4th place goes DK - 80,000
5th goes to Zenith - 35,000
6th goes to EHOME - 35,000
7th goes to Tongfu - 25,000
8th goes to Orange - 25,000

talking about dota, last week KCR place 3rd in ACG Qualifying in Cyberjaya, loses to team SR and behind SpaceMonkeys. it was devastating, we expect we could get a better place but there is no luck for us to get there.

and tmr they are going to participate in WCG Qualifying round in KLCC, the match is predicted going to start at 2pm and ends on sunday. strong opponents like SpaceMonkeys, Orange and MUFC also participates and please do supports us and like out FB page.

all the best for KCR'ace. and maybe this is it for some of the KCR. maybe.

it ends here.

maybe.

dancing away with my heart

i dont usually tell "i love you" occasionally just to engage conversation, when im speechless or even out of nothing, but when i do, i did say that because i want to remind and tell u that ur the best thing ever happen to me

-yum

2 weeks

dah 2 minggu. sejak takde facebook, twitter, hidup aku boleh di katakan bermakna. sekarang dah mula pickup tv series untuk di tonton, dah habis baca 2-3 buku. waktu tidor pon dah repair. now nak kurangkan berborak di group whatsapps.

i dont think that i will comeback to social networking life. 

and ada few things tak di buat lagi. 

inner peace. setting this life to the right path. and i like you.

hahaha tetiba i like you.
random.

sempurna itu tidak sempurna

cukup sifat di katakan sempurna,
kurang sifat di katakan sempurna,
sebab sempurna itu hanya milik tuhan.

jadi berapa sempurnakah sempurna itu? 
adakah sempurna itu merujuk kepada ketidak sempurnaan?

kita siapa?

mimpi

mimpi. kadang kala di definisikan sebagai mainan tidur, ataupun ada yang kata ia adalah pengembaraan kita sebagai roh. sebangkitnya kita dari mimpi, kita keliru.

baru-baru ni aku di datangi mimpi. mimpi yang lama dulu aku dapat. mimpi di datangi seseorang untuk berkongsi sesuatu yang aku tidak mahu. family belah abah aku unik. 6 daripada 12 orang adik beradik abah aku ada kebolehan mistik. masing-masing ada kebolehan unik mcm boleh mengurut, boleh "nampak", boleh mengubat, boleh "bercakap", boleh "menurun", "kuat".

zaman uitm dulu aku penah dapat mimpi yg aku dapat last week. ada orang tua pakai baju putih siap berserban bercahaya datang time aku tgh duduk tepi sungai. kata dia nak berkawan. 1st time kena aku buat tak endah, lepas tu mimpi yang sama datang balik malam esoknya, dan lusa. 3 kali. datang bawa hajat yang sama. nak berkawan. lepas 3 hari tu aku demam, sakit2 badan. aku balik johor n cerita dgn mak. mak kata benda tu datang nak share ilmu dgn aku. nak berdamping kata dia. tapi aku kata aku tak jawab org tua tu punya soalan. and start hari tu aku mula nampak benda pelik2. tapi tak selalu.

aku nampak 2 budak kecik yang menumpang rumah aku. aku ingat aku je nampak, kawan mak aku pun nampak. lepas tu kadang2 ada nampak benda melompat atas tiang lampu kat area parit besar tu. kadang2 dengar tapi tak nampak. but makin lama ability tuk nampak dgn dengar ni makin hilang..

and lately waktu raya aku dapat lagi mimpi sama.tapi kali ni pakcik tua tu suruh aku kembali ke jalan tuhan. suruh aku jangan tinggal solat. suruh aku mengaji, katanya aku dah lama tak buat benda2 tu. dia tak lagi nak berkawan dgn aku. aku dah demam 7 hari. batuk, sakit badan, selsema. aku cakap dgn "mak", mak kata padan muka aku.

rasanya dah sampai masa untuk aku atur hidup baru.

the 900.

yo, have u played tony hawk pro skaters series? if u do, this "900" is his special. spin in mid air a few times before landing. cool yo.

but this is not what i am here to talk about. sedar tak sedar this is the 7th year i have been blogging. since xanga era. since tripod and altavista era. if u guys are around to see those thing lived and died. past few month i am dealing with this addict. this addiction to say something on the virtual world. twitter. for example.

twitter is a place where i jolt down all of my feelings, rage, sad, anger, happy, boring, lonely, blah blah blah. up to this point, i have tweeted at about 85,306 tweets since 2009. i still do remember the 1st tweet "esok nak convo, yay" and "i need to practice Marvel vs Capcom alot" aha. since that day, twitter has become my alternate reality. whenever, wherever, whatever. every single minutes, everysingle emotions, everysingle action mesti nak tweet. for what reason, till now i dont know for what i am saying all of those things.

i have to say twitter also acts like ur own personal microblog. u share things, ideas, this and that all over twitter. and yes twitter also serve its purposes by having bots reporting about traffic updates, news, sports, this, that, shits, chings and chongs. selain serve purpose sebagai medan propaganda, medan bashing, medan itu dan ini serta medan tahi bagi mereka-mereka yang sering mendambakan benda2 begini. twitter can be considered as a drug that u didnt consume but its addictive. most of the people i know when they start twitter, fb diorang terus. lesap. mix with the hype people inside, a little bit of this, a bit of that. twitter is everything.

its up to u actually, for what twitter is being used for, and either it benefits u or not. i deactivated my twitter account today. i told people who ask that i need and seek motivation. but actually its not.

twitter change me. i failed. i failed to change twitter into me. 1st of all, people might say oh kalau kita guna benda ni elok2, kita yang buat dia, bukan dia buat kita, takdenye addict. this is where u guys get it wrong. as u know, i am a very straight forward guy. u know how highly discipline i am in person. u can judge me by asking me for lepak. tanya siapa sampai dulu. of course the answer shud be me. or even lewat or tak jadi pun i will always bagi tau prior in time. i start using twitter often last year. and yeah meeting new people is fun. tweet sampah tweet bash tweet apa lancau semua is best for the moment. and now dah sampai tahap the fuck i am doing here. i miss this, i miss that, i miss a lot of events in the real life. i miss the moment where my nephews and nieces grow. i hardly know their names. i miss the books, i used to be a bookworm but nowdays i havent read and accomplish any. i hardly take care of my computers. i hardly lepak with budak2 kampung yang kerja kat KL ni. and i didnt visit any of my relatives here. i miss a lot of things. sabtu ahad pegi lepak dgn those guys, malam balik kerja, pegi twtup sini sana. betul social life, but bila kita dah terlalu deep dgn those things. twitter has become our realiti.

true twitter ni ada faedahnya. kawan2 baru, info2 baru. banyak lagi. tak tercakap kalau nak cerita baik buruk dia. look at me. dulu waktu awal2 kerja, aku tidur awal. 12-1 tu dah tido, sekarang melampau2. pukul 3 terkebil2 main phone duk baca timeline. it affects me. bangun awal, jadi lemau, rehat tak cukup, otak tak fresh, prestasi kerja mcm celaka, datang lewat, tak fokus, khayal. this and that. banyak lagi benda2 tak elok terjadi pada diri ni bila dah obses sangat dgn twitter, dangerous. and today i decided to take actions.

take down my own twitter account. for now, the main twitter account is deactivated, soon the private account too. and all of those parody account and including my facebook too. i will leave my instagram, youtube, flickr, whatsapp and blogger account active for the time being. i am not going to turn anti-social. but limiting myself, for a good cause and purpose.

tiada kejadian putus cinta ke, kejadian butthurt or kejadian memilukan untuk aku bertindak mcm ni.

this is me taking actions towards my own life and setting the right course for my future.

i will be back. tapi bukan di dalam masa terdekat ni, u know where to find me, if u try hard enough.

aite.
ja

selamat hari raya

selamat hari raya. i know its kinda late to wish selamat hari raya considering this is the 5th syawal. 5.52 am. i was planning to put up on several posts but i think due to i dont have any proper internet connection and laptop or pc to get it done, so yeah. this is it. multiple idea-post-related-during-raya-and-shits (RANTS) lulz.

so. hows ur raya? mine was so-so. mcm biasa tidur lepas semayang raya. lepas tu bangun tidur makan n bagi anak2 buah duit raya. malam raya 1st pegi parit raja raya rumah daus. u know, common things that i do every year bila balik kampung. the same people, the same house, the same activity. i didnt have much friend back here in my home town yet people recognize me.

honestly said, beraya dgn family is quite ok but raya dengan kawan2 is kinda..hahah entah tak tau nak cakap apa. a few tak dapat cuti panjang. dapat off raya 1st dgn 2nd, so automatically raya 1st dgn raya 2nd pukul beraya dgn family. of course institusi kekeluargaan adalah lebih penting dari institusi brotherhood. so kalau bagi alasan tak dapat la bro nak hadap mak ayah n family, i can always understand this. maklumlah. diri ni pun jarang balik. spend masa dgn family paling utama.

so last year dapat bergambar dgn kawan2. around 8-9 sekali datang open house. kali ni, yg muncul. 4 je. and ada few shocking news. next month ada yang nak kawin, next year pun ada yang nak kawin. i was like. peeeh this is crazy liao, the least expected members yang kawin dulu. *facepalm* ohhh ya. this year tak ada video ucapan selamt hari raya. tak sempat. and tak berapa proper kalau nak record pun actually.

tahun ni baju raya biru. but mcm biasa no selipar raya or songkok raya. i am sad because tak sempat nak prepare diri dengan benda2 duniawi mcm tu. but this raya cuti dapat cuti panjang. from friday to next monday. sempat la jugak balik johor, jumpa pakcik makcik, anak2 sedara. few of my uncles dah start sakit. ada yg kena stroke, ada yang sakit kaki, sama jugak dgn my aunts, sakit buah pinggang. sakit itu dan ini. i feel bad actually, for not going back, hardly make time to visit them. the regrets from mak abang's death still haunts me. tak sempat balik menghadap before she go. last jumpa time siapa ntah kawin kat seremban last year may or what. u see, nama cousin sendiri pun tak ingat.

next raya im gonna celebrate it with my JB family. beraya kat sini pun, entahlah adik beradik mak mcm ada krisis. duduk sekampung, tapi beraya rumah abang sulong, rumah kak ngah tak datang. apa benda la mcm ni. malas nak tegur, ego. hal orang2 tua, lebih2 lagi pasal adik beradik dia, tak payah campur. i did warn my mother pasal post2 kat fb. pasal social networking, pasal saying things that might hurt people's feeling dalam alam maya. lain reaction nya bila when we decide to give feedback to someone's status or post and other people might jump into either unleashing more and more feedbacks. either she want to listen or not, up to her. to my aunt here belah mak, post kat fb mcm2, bila suruh beraya taknak. till when?

so far raya has been good to me. this year ada rezeki lebih, dapat la menghulur lebih2 sikit tak mcm last year. i hope things will improve day by day. its 6.10 am. lets go for subuh prayer and than sleep.

goodnight.
ja.
stay safe on the roads while driving towards destination.

nak hidup lama?

semperna musim perayaan ni, abiang yum ingin share beberapa info dan tips2 berkenaan penjagaan/servis motor dan cara menunggang dengan selamat di atas jalan raya/highway. biasalah, abiang yum ni rider, kawan-kawan abiang yum pon ramai rider.

bagi bikers kapcai, terdapat beberapa benda yang perlu di ambil kira sekiranya ingin memulakan ride yang agak jauh dan panjang. se-eloknya, sehari dua sebelum memulakan ride, bawalah kapcai anda untuk di periksa dan service. pastikan anda pergi ke kedai service yang ada tenaga kerja yang professional, kadang ada pomen ni keje dia nipu je, duit nak, pasang sambil lewa, tu yang kadang brek tak makan la, itu lari ini lari, tak memasal nak ziarah kubur kawan2 abiang yum ni. betul ni, serius, bahaya benda2 mcm ni, jangan bawak main..

tips servis motor 

1. tukar minyak hitam kapcai anda.

biasanya, minyak hitam ni perlu di tukar sekiranya meter anda dah dalam gandaan 4000-5000km. 6000km pon boleh. kalau kurang dari number di atas bawah 5-6 bulan, pun tukarlah sekali. takut minyak hitam tu tak pekat. pakai la minyak mahal sikit, kalau murah kapcai anda senang "bobok/bobop"

2. minyak 4t - bagi kapcai 4 lejang/skooter.

tukar minyak 4t untuk memastikan kelancaran, kalau long ride, tukar gear tu kita dapat rasa smooth tak smooth, n tuk maintain speed kapcai anda. standard pakai vsx la. tahan lama skit.

3. minyak 2t - bagi motor2 power mcm 125z, ninja 150 rr, rxz.

minyak 2t ni penting bagi motor2 2 lejang ni pasal memastikan enjin motor anda tak jammed sekiranya anda menyetan di highway/jalan raya. kalau boleh 2t ni jangan bagi kering, jangan bubuh lebih. kena ngam2. jahanam enjin der kalau kering. pastu kalau enjin lu jammed, mmg jadi segumpal daging burger atas jalan tu..

4. oil filter/spark plug

sebelum tukar, buat checking dulu, sama ada kena tukar or just kena servis je. jarang sekali benda2 camni rosak.

5. service air filter/fuel filter/radiator/coolant

kalau agak2 dah hitam berkerak benda2 ni, eloklah di tukar, kalau tak, spray angin pakai compressor, air coolant tu kalau dah kering mohon refil, nnt long ride enjin tak panas sangat, kena jaga enjin, jangan bagi jahanam

6. sproket/rantai/belt skooter

pastikan sproket anda tak tajam, kalau tajam senang lucut rantainya, rantai pun jangan tegang sangat jangan kendur sangat. pastu kalau bunyi belt skooter tu dah macam kucing nak mampus, bawak2 la tukar, kang tgh ride putus tgh jalan..apa pon tak dapat

7. tayar

pam tayar tu. jangan bagi keraih sangat. lembik sangat pun takleh. di nasihatkan pakai tayar tubeless. lebih selamat dari tayar bertube. kalau long ride di nasihatkan pakai tubeless, kurang masalah berbanding tayar bertube.

8. side mirror/signal/lampu

check jugak benda2 ni. manalah tau nak ride malam. karang org langgar, apa pon tak nampak. ingat langgar kucing/anjing/lembu. adalah bahaya kalau ride malam or dalam gelap or hujan tanpa ada benda2 ni. lagi2 musim perayaan.

tips ride di jalanan

1. sekarang abiang yum dah turun pangkat, jadi street/town rider. naik kapcai lc je. bagi mereka yang naik kapcai LC dan sewaktu dengannya (tanpa di modify jadi LC 179 cc) kita wajib bawak di lane paling kiri sekali. haa kalau boleh jangan dalam sangat emergency lane tu. selalunya org buang paku bla bla bla kat emergency lane tu. biar tgh2 antara lane kiri hujung/emergency lane.

2. kalau balik berkonvoi, mohon jarak yang selamat antara rider2. lantik satu marshal depan dan belakang, selalunya kalau bikers berkuasa tinggi, diorang akan main lane kanan, ride dalam speed 150-170km/h secara konstant, sebab depan ada marshall, belakang pun ada marshall, takde alasan kenapa tertinggal dan kenapa terlalu perlahan, bikers ada system, ada signal kalau nak berhenti ataupun slow down ataupun sprint.

3. protective gear, mohon pakai glove, helmet kalau boleh yang berkuali, kalau bikers berkuasa tinggi, pakai full face, pakai mask. baju mesti lengan panjang, kasut.

4. kalau ngantuk, penat, bontot kematu, haus, lapar, horny, mohon berhenti di mana2 hentian. selalunya setiap 40km ada 1 R&R n setiap 20 km ada hentian. mohon selesaikan apa yang patut.

5. kalau ride malam, pakai baju yang memantolkan cahaya. senang orang nak nampak awok ride. highway melaka johor bahaya. lampu takdak. seriusly.

6. kalau highway jammed, pasti ada nokhorom yang akan masuk lane emergency. jangan risau, prepare beberapa biji batu. mohon HON dulu sebelom bertindak, kalau abiang2 semua faham apa yang abiang yum maksudkan dengan bertindak tewww.

7. kalau boleh, bawalah mp3 bersama. gunakan earphone mini yang sesuai dan boleh muat dalam helmet tew. takde la mengantuk or bosan time ride. abiang yum salu buat camni. buh lagu kpop. kekeke

8. sebelom ride. mohon bagi tau sedara mara or rakan2 rapat. kalau apa2 terjadi, mereka tahu anda sedang buat apa dan di mana. senang.

9. berehat secukupnya sebelom memulakan ride.

sekian saja pesanan abiang yum dalam post kali ini, abiang yum balik johoq hari jumaat pas sahur. nak merasa jalan awal pagi. abiang yum dah serbis motoq petang semalam. mahai. kena 200, tukaq tayar n benda2 apa semua. rasa macam kena kencing, jilaka. takpalah. biar mahal asal selamat ye dak.

sekian, selamat menyambut hari raya,
selamat ride,
selamat jumpa rider pempuan chumil,
selamat berjumpa sanak saudara dalam keadaan sempurna
ingatlah orang yang tersayang.


raya yang tak masuk akal

kurang 5 hari lagi nak masuk bulan syawal. selama suku abad berjalan atas muka bumi ni, pengertian hari raya bagi aku, semuanya bertemakan kesedihan. pagi hari raya tu lah jugak nak menangis teresak2 mintak ampun dgn mak abah. pagi raya tu jugak nak menangis tak tentu arah ziarah kubur mereka2 yang telah pergi.  pagi tu jugak nak menitik air mata cerita tentang kesusahan hidup dengan sepupu sepapat lain yg tak pernah jumpa. i was like, the hell. raya dan air mata ni dah sebati dalam hidup.


ini aku belum lagi sebut pasal drama-drama raya/puasa. mak mati, bapak mati, bini mati, keluarga miskin, mak hilang bapak hilang atok tak suka mak tiri garang anak tak soleh blah blah blah. da fuq. terlalu banyak aura negatif. please la. hari raya adalah benda yang gembira. tahu? pagi tu dapat makan lontong, budak2 dapat duit raya, orang2 dah besar cam aku ni dapat menghadap makcik pakcik n cousin2 lain yg tak payah nak jumpa. sembang, main pakau, pegi kubur atuk bersihkan sama-sama.

tu belum lagi di hidangkan dengan komedi bangang dan tak masuk akal senario, lepas tu di bagi nya hindusatan bertalu2. hallo, ini raya siapa? apahal cerita mcm tu main. da fuq. rasanya revolusi tentang apa yang patut di siarkan pada hari raya ni dah boleh dah. tapi nak buat macam mana? selagi drama-drama yang di siarkan masih berpaksikan rating dan revenue, benda2 mcm ni tak boleh nak ubah.

raya sedih, siapa bagi kau hak nak determine tema raya ni mesti sedih. u see, during bulan puasa, bukan tak boleh create satu drama berkenaan puasa, dan letak elemen2 komedi dalam drama tu, buat lah drama tentang bazar ramadhan, ada beberapa peniaga berlawan pastu letak la unsur2 komedi, jumpa bomoh n so, bukan org melayu amat pandai ke benda2 komedi-seram-sesat mcm ni? or buat drama islamik seperti lawan mengaji peringkat sekolah ke, letak la elemen2 suspen, kena dengki sampai bisu ke.

bukan tak boleh, boleh. bukan ketandusan idea pun. saja taknak buat sebab takut penerimaan penonton hambar, sekarang 2012, aku yg bukan pandai mengarah drama/buat storyline pun tau nak bagi idea menarik pasal raya/puasa. jujur, aku dah habis harapan pada filem2/drama melayu. ada beberapa ketul je yang masih lagi relevant nak di layan. tu pon bila production dah lingkup, mulalah terbitkan filem n drama merapu tak masuk akal guna hero n storyline yg sama berkali2 sampailah muak. 

raya sedih? pala butoh pak hang la wei

what happened?

its 12.28 pm in the afternoon. and today i have come late again in the office. 10.45 am. due to i cant control myself last night. lately, i cant define what am i. who am i. its getting worst. dulu boleh maintain tidur 1.30 setiap hari. lepas tu naik 2.30. and sekarang dah pukul 4 pagi, masih tak boleh tidur. what the hell man.
disiplin diri makin teruk. last month lebih 10 kali datang lewat, this month pon boleh kata hari2.

actually quality of life deteriorating. itu tak kena ni tak kena. honestly, aku tak berapa suka environment aku sekarang. these people around me is leeching whatever they can. selagi boleh manipulate, diorang manipulate.

i want to get out of this hell hole. help me.

10 tips untuk tidak bagi duit raya ketika hari raya

1. tak payah balik kampung. duduk kl ni raya sorang2 dalam LRT/KTM dengan bangla/nepal/campuchia/negro - paling mudah, lepas tu tweetlah #fuckmaxis #fuckKTM mcm @akuskizo hari2 buat.

2. balik kampung bawa balik IC dan lesen memandu serta wang yang cukup-cukup untuk tambang bas pergi dan balik serta buat muka baru lepas di rompak di puduraya/TBS. mungkin anda akan di beri duit raya

3. hadiahkan id dan pass online banking anda kepada sahabat rapat mahupun orang gelandangan 2 minggu sebelum raya. lepas tu lupakan hal itu dan hidup mcm biasa

4. tukar duit raya dengan duit buruk, bukan duit baru. sila ke pasar ataupun bengkel untuk menukar dengan wang hanyir/berminyak/koyak. lepas tu offerlah kepada anak buah/jiran tetangga/sepupu sepapat. "maaflah, tak sempat tukar duit raya...ini je yang ada...taknak tanpa..."

5. langgan china dolls. habiskan duit anda sehingga tidak tinggal apa-apa. katakan pada orang tua mu, "mak, abah, ini makwe2 saya. selamat hari raya, maaf zahir batin"

6. buatlah hal di tempat kerja sebulan sebelum raya untuk di berhentikan kerja tanpa notis 24 jam. lepas tu duduk rumah, sila main video game dan bela rambut serta misai dan kumis.

7. pura-pura gila bila tiba hari raya. katanya tak dapat terima hakikat dah raya, masa berlalu dengan pantas, sila meroyan dengan suara seperti langsuir betina liar, mengilai dan bertenggek di atas sofa dengan hanya bertuala sahaja. pastikan abah anda backhand anda sehingga anda pura-pura pengsan.

8. meminta kesemua anak2 buah untuk membawa fotokopi slip peperiksaan masing2. siapa ada C tak perlu bagi duit raya, siapa ada B akan dapat duit syiling dan siapa ada A tapi campur2 B dan C akan dapat sekeping seringgit. jadi tegas, tetapi kombinasi gred itu adalah hak mutlak anda.

9. sila bawa balik buku bank/statement bank anda yang "sejuk dan beku itu" lalu fotokopi dan masukkan kedalam sampul duit raya dan berikan kepada anak2 buah anda. 10 minit kemudian, tunggu feedback dari ibu bapa mereka.

10. sila main meriam buluh sehingga putus jari jemari. dan katakan, "paksu tak mampu nak bagi kamu duit raya bukan apa...tgk lah jari jemari paksu ni..duit raya paksu dalam kocek..tapi paksu tak mampu nak bagi kamu....*menitik air mata dan dalam 20 saat kemudiannya meraung, tanda tersiksa dan terluka di dalam hati di ajukan soalan kenapa taknak bagi duit raya* konfirm takde orang tanya.

sekian, selamat malam,
terima kasut



LULZYAH

tipikal di bulan ramadhan

secara ilmiahnya, tipikal ini membawa erti :

"ciri-ciri lazim yang selalunya (common) atau lazim, dalam nada lain ianya membawa maksud lumrah (norms) ataupun kebiasaan/kebanyakkan"

kita tahu yang bulan ni merupakan bulan ramadhan, jadi saya yakin hampir semua umat islam yang berpuasa ada keinginan untuk berbuka puasa di luar mahupun di buffet-buffet ramadhan yang di berlambak-lambak sana. tapi saya ingin menyentuh beberapa perihal berkenaan ini.

seperti mana yang kita tahu, tak semua orang berkemampuan ataupun mempunyai dana kewangan yang lebih untuk hadir ke buffet-buffet ramadhan ini. bagi saya, sekiranya anda tahu maksud buffet ramadhan ni, dan tahu jenis-jenis buffet yang anda pergi, anda patut sedia dengan jenis makanan dan jenis buffet yang di sediakan.

rata-rata, buffet yg berharga rm 15-20 ke atas adalah buffet kelas ke 3, di mana restoren yang menyajikan makanan kebanyakkanya tidak akan mengisi semula makanan di dalam bekas makanan. jadi adalah normal apabila restoren ini di serbu 50 keluarga dalam satu-satu masa dan kunci untuk makan sampai puas di sini adalah datang awal dan cedok awal, bukan datang lambat macam raja dan naik angin bila makanan habis.
kalau pergi bazar ramadhan pun, saya sendiri belanja dah nak sampai rm 15, kuih rm 3, air rm 3, nasi rm 6 paling murah, murtabak rm 3. betul? tak betul? saya makan banyak? oh tidak..

jadi hujung minggu lepas saya telah ke restoren pak apa ntah di kampung baru, ada satu famili ni bertekak dengan tuan kedai. memalukan bangsa saya, memalukan tuan kedai, dan juga dirinya sendiri, kata makanan tak cukup, family itu duduk di bahagian paling depan sekali, dan saya nampak mereka datang awal. kenapalah tak cedok makanan tu banyak2 awal2. dasar tipikal melayu.

ini baru satu contoh jenis sifat tipikal, ada lagi, sepertinya pergi ke bazar ramadhan dan merungut tentang harga dan rasa makanan. pendapat professional saya, sebungkus nasi pada tahun 2005 zaman saya belajar adalah harga di sekitar rm 4.50 sebungkus, nasi, lauk ayam/daging/sayur. sekarang sudah 2012. bukan tiada yang menjual dengan harga sekitar rm 4.50, ada, harus cari. jadi bagi saya harga rm 7 pada tahun 2012, itu adalah biasa. anda kena ingat, yang berniaga beli barang, diorang pun beli barang dengan harga mahal, tak semua peniaga menipu, tak semua peniaga guna barang murah. benda ini berkait rapat dengan kemampuan kita atau tidak untuk mengisi perut kita sendiri. 

saya selalu memerhatikan gelagat orang ramai/kawan-kawan yang komplen. pegi buffet murah, tapi nakkan makanan ala-ala 5 bintang. apalah salahnya awak masak sendiri, ataupun makan sahaja makanan rakyat 1malaysia yang murah tu. selera besar, tapi tak mampu dan komplen. apalah..

bulan puasa ni, boleh kata saya berbuka puasa dengan agak mewah, di kg baru restoren d'lala, seoul garden, hotel singgahsana, flaming steamboat, nasi briyani batu pahat di seri kembangan. itu semua lebih dari rm 50 sekali makan. tidak pula saya komplen harga mahal. puas je hati. kenyang je. cukup je makanan

biasalah. masalah melayu yang tipikal. ini bukan zaman 1960 di mana 10 sen itu bagaikan seringgit dan rm 50 tu bagaikan rm 500. nilai duit makin susut. kalau ikutkan nafsu, mcm tu lah jadinya. rm 15 punya pasal nak bawa bergaduh bertikam dgn tuan punya restoren, kan malu. blerghhh

tadi saya makan di hotel singgahsana PJ. rm 70. saya makan agak banyak dan semua booth makanan saya belasah walaupun saya rasa saya makan tak sampai harga rm 70 tu. makanan dia banyak, sentiasa refil dan fresh. ada hiburan dari kumpulan saujana lagi. siap bagi cabutan bertuah lagi. 

nampak tak perbezaan kasta buffet-buffet? tepuk dada, jangan tanya selera ataupun tanya nafsu, tetapi tanya kemampuan. sanggup atau tidak. mampu atau tidak


p/s: bagi saya, kepelbagaian makanan di buffet2 tak penting, yang penting ialah dapat makan bersama dengan kawan2 dan keluarga. makan sikit pun rasa kenyang. betul tak?

nothing

women from the last century

i've met one, but cant really keep her around. she does things where others didnt do. she does things that others who are living in this age doesnt. she is she, and she is not trying so hard to copy all the stuffs from TV series or any lovey dovey movies. and im gonna share whatever that i can remember.

- she posts u cards, or by hand each time u spent sometimes with her.
- she rather choose to buy any potato chips and enjoy sunset with ya rather than hanging out in a mall
- the one who pops up ur bottle of water behind ur back and surprise u with her actions.
- and she is the one who insist u to play the game of , guess where is the signboard, alphabets is, either her or ur town.
- the one who posts u medical supplies if she heard ur falling sick.
- the one who text u by ur name 10 times, and when u ask apa, she replied takde apa and then gone.
- the one who ask u, have u played ur video game yet? because she needs u afterwards.
- she surprised u with her teleportation tech, suddenly she's there, in front of ur house, taking u out for a dinner or late night movie.
-the one who wakes u up in the middle of the night just to tell u that the moon is beautiful tonight and ask u to take the moon's photo just to make sure u didnt lie.
- she is the one who refuse to buy couple seats in the movies and dislikes love movies.
- and she is the one who turn the tradition of making guys buys girls teddy bear, instead she gave one to u.


and there is a little few more. trying hard to figure it outta my brain. oh well. selamat bersahur. goodnight.


Malaysia XI vs Mancity

nothing but pics. heheh. best la jugak. 1st time turun match mcm ni, but i feel quite membazir, nasri, hart, kompany, pizzaro, silva, milner, balotelli tak turun, and 2nd half diorang masukkan ntah sapa2, sad gila...

FT : MCITY 3 - MAS XI 1

 thanks mother for the sponsorship

 game on 
 adei tak berapa terang 
 habis match

sad no tevez n aguero bila pusing padang