10.10.10

im hurt on this date since 10.10.08

the wound heals, but the pain and scars still live within me.

im hurt, but nobody know,

im hurt, but i dont know how can i disperse this pain.

i really need to get real partner,

the one that i can meet everyday.

the one that i can tell this and that.

the one who understands my pain.

the one who will swallow it all with me.

the one who will walk this path of life with me.

please,

HEAL ME,

SOMEBODY.

IM HURT BADLY

memories

all the memories of hate and the lies,

dont you know we'll pay the price,

all the hopes and dreams will survive,

reunite we got to keep our faith alive

entertainment

playing video games for fun and professionally is 2 different thing.

im tired of doing all the job alone.its called a clan,but it seldom function as a clan.

-please buy courier if u goes random.

-and do play wards and counter enemy wards.

-and report each time enemy missing.

-and please.not to go for ranks or kills.

please let me do the farming since i am the best farmer.if u wanna do farmer,so then let u do it.but dont when it comes to i supporting and u cant finish the job.

u'll know what will happen.

save me part (i dont know exactly dah berapa part)

okay today is the nastiest, super bad-ass, ugliest fight i had with eliza.

and today the word that i heard from her is :

"get a real job"

"get out from the home and stay kl"

"enough with dota"

"be a guy not a teenager"

"where am i when she need me"

actually, when i do some thinking bout this.i laugh.

yeah,where the hell that i've been when she need me around.oh forgot i was on the bus to KL midnite time,walk my ass from nowhere to HKL.and go back to batu pahat on the same day and straight working.it not 2 times.not 3.not 5 but its 15 times.

it was 15 times and most of the time u were sleeping.and only natalie there.she knows.unless she did keep it down.

and again, get a real job? as u know im undersome kind of scholar ship. would you pay for me scholarship? around 70k + 5k plus with interest? would you?

and next is come and work in kl? first of all get me a job in KL.and then find me a rental house.and get me a car,or bike at least.

enough with dota and teenager? what? i shud do make-up now? or become a photographer? play barbie-doll with you?

and it doesnt end well tonight.its ugly.i deleted most of the text.still the aura is deep.

yeah maybe ur right.

i am just another boy.

im gonna have my rest day today.mc.fever.

crap.crap.crap.

just go if u wanna go.i'll be fine myself.ur rich.ur a lawyer.ur way too matured for me.ur 26,u had ur own job.u had ur home.u had career.u wont meet my friend.u wont eat at mamak stall with me cause it disgust u right?

this is what im gonna say :

well, FUCK YOU. FUCK THE LIFESTYLE UR LIVING. FUCK IT ALL.

ja~

after 22 years of living i just did remember this

when i was 5 or 6, my dad bring me to the monster truck show in kelantan.

and he did watch the cinema with me.it was jurassic park

dad, im asking u as a son..

lets talk.

and sought things out..

p/s : how i wish u could read this..em..