endscape: September 2009

:( sad raya's gone..

:( raya habis.

:( nak balik bangi sudah

:( gonna miss jyuupon gatana

:( miss my buddies

:( uwa tanak balik

:( uwa assignment berlambak

:( uwa programming kills

tapi.tapi kan kan.

the best thing is.this raya was a blast.really a blast.as a free man.

:) wee

:) well this is life.without the :( baik kita lepas lahir trus masuk syurga right?

p/s : sorry kepada several people.i broke the promises.cant attend this and that and cant do this and that.i cant be at 2 places in 1 time.sangat2 sorry.aku pun ada masalah jugak.kalau tak faham takpa lah.tapi lepas2 raya ni janganlah masam2 muka.kalau nak masam muka jugak takpa lah.mmg salah aku.i cant be there and puaskan hati kamu semua.maaf :)

p/s2 : gambar i will upload as soon as i got back to my julie wee ;p

sedikit peringatan.

i know u've been reading my blog.i dont mind.but up to ya.

minta tolong pesan dekat kay.he can stop giving me "salam hormat dari saya,kay"

sarang tebuan jangan di jolok.kegilaan aku jangan di provoke.

u wanna watch another possible family members got whack in the middle of the road? like what farhan had? u wanna cry till ur eye balls pop out?

think bout it.

i didnt retaliate not because im a coward or scared like shit or sumthing.i just dont need the fire-starter to loosen up this mind once again.i might snap.and "bight"

i snapped once.u know what happen right? dont let i gone snap again.u might cry this time.for good :)

aku dah bg chance.but still it cant be save.

just got back from local cyber cafe's slaying chinese ass in local dota scene.i login garena for so long i didnt login,what i can see is,racist everywhere.from room 01 till room 99,sigh..dont ask me.u shud know already.tak cukup dgn racism,caci maki,tomahan di lemparkan pada aku.

cmon guys.aku cuba tuk berubah,banyak kali dah aku bagi chance org pijak pala aku,kasi cina hina bangsa aku,aku cuba tuk tak jadi public enemy semua org.still cant.still cant.malays,chinese,even indian,the same.

whats the point being so good in dota? look at me.freakin look at me.i was GODLIKE innit.i was UBER professional,most of them hate me,some of them make me king,ironicly,i had nothing.
just now dlm cc.a group of malays and chinese fights after finish playing dota.the chinese boy got stabbed and the malays pecah kepala kena hentak dgn helmet.

wtf man? gila babi racist ni menular sampai kepada sekecil2 game.bende which are created and supposed to be fun but in the end jadi mcm ni? i think the government shud take a look.really kaji semula perlaksanaan ONE MALAYSIA.jangan sekadar mainstream.go beneath it.

aku agak shock,serius.kaget tgk jadi mcm tu.wtf man.wtf.aku cam.sigh seriusnye racism dlm malaysia ni.bukan aku tak pernah bagi chance,bukan aku tak pernah cuba berubah.tapi kalau aku sorang je yg cuba and org lain tak cuba sekali,manakan nak jalan? aku bukan nabi,limitess punya kesebaran,aku manusia biasa,jgn kata nabi tu manusia biasa kalau kau tak ambil kira mukjizat dia iaitu hati dia telah di bersihkan dari sebarang dosa.

cukup dgn masalah racist.tgk la melayu dlm tu.melayu sama melayu dengki melayu kutuk melayu tikam melayu and so what ever.bukan aku tak penah nak tolong melayu.bukan aku tak penah nak hormat melayu.tapi org melayu sendiri takde rasa hormat dgn aku.pegi la mampus aku pun takkan jatuhkan maruah aku nak layan org mcm kau.pedulik hape org kata aku sombong.gotta do what i gotta do man.biar org kata aku anjing cina.biar cina kata aku melayu babi.

mmg dah tak dapat di selamatkan dah lagi.serius aku tak percaya undang2 di malaysia ni mampu menyelamatkan malaysia kita ni dari masalah racism.aku tak percaya bahawa ada tokoh yg mampu selamatkan kita.melainkan dgn cara yg paling radikal.sangat radikal.PERLUASKAN KEKUASAAN ISA.JADIKAN RACISM SEBAGAI SUATU PERKARA YG MASYARAKAT TAKKAN SEBUT.SEBUT KAUM = DEATH SENTENCE.PERSETANKAN HUMAN RIGHTS.

HUMAN RIGHTS,APA HUMAN RIGHTS? PERGI MAMPUS.

interlude

too many to tell.
too many to explain.
too many to list down here.

i did sumthing on the last day of puasa.which called project KARAM.i'll explain and upload all of the photos sooon as i get back my gear which i left in uniten.ohh i miss you so much u know julie (my comp T.T,there goes the same with u panssy and ibony :( i miss hugging u ..)

i'll brief it up

early saturday morning :
-went back to bp with aliya and hafiz.
-sempat bersahur and berbuka puasa with my family
-i ate makroni goreng which i craving it for sooo god damn long
-i sleep with nika (haha my beloved bed ;p)

saturday noon :
-went to summit batu pahat to shop with naim and epi.damn i turned into a mad cow
-buy B.U.M watch.quite expensive
-buy 2 set of jeans
-buy 2 set of t-shirts
-go saloon my hair
-a pair of sneakers
-i spend almost 1.5 k on those shits.haha

saturday nite :
-went to bp mall,and square ones with tufah,naim,epi and syafiq
-look additional accessories
-went for karoke session.OMFG syafiq can sing fantasia bulan madu FTW!,tufah knows lagu rakyat GG
-lepak at bpwalk,seeing people doing their last bidding during malam raya.we had a good meal while doing BUKON haha
-went back home,and then YM-img luna till 5++,she teach me to listen indo songs (euh <-- this is when i was a global racist,and now thanks to luna,i started to like indo songs)
-ahh sleep with the cats outside T.T

1st raya :
-went to semayang raya,
-back home doing the thing we do on hari raya
-slammed on the door,went sleeping
-wake up at 6+
-went to syafiq's
-went to square one and watch GAMER.quite nice movie,and dont expect for u to understand that movie bcoz if youhe really wanna understand the concept and the message of the movie itself,i suggest u to become a gamer,much like myself :D,but still different people different view.so enjoy :D

p/s : this year was a great hari raya for me.a great one.i bet this one wud be the best raya!

btw : SELAMAT HARI RAYA TO ALL MY FRIENDS,MAAF ZAHIR BATIN :)

black glasses :D

Black Glasses

I wear black glasses

Just a frame of me you see

Fancy window dressing

In the mirror glass I reflect a bigger me

I use them as a curtain

with two holes to see the world

when I'm not too certain

if the real me inside is the one who needs to hide.

In my glasses I'm the Wizard of Oz

You can hear my voice I can hear your flaws

Would you see a clown if the curtains came down

It could all turn around if I take them off

Would you call it off if I take them off

Take them off

For you.

When I wear black glasses

Am I hiding me from you?

Where's my lion's courage

And the tin man's hard to feel

I'll be enough for you.

In my glasses I'm the Wizard of Oz

You can hear my voice I hear your flaws

Would you see a clown if the cutain came down

Would you stick around

And see me through

See me as you

If I take them off

Take them off

For you.

So I wear black glasses.

Am I hiding me from you?

In my glasses I'm the Wizard of Oz

You can hear my voice I hear your flaws

Would you see a clown if the curtain came down

Would you stick around if I take them off

Loose the whole thing off, yeah.

In my glasses I'm the Wizard of Oz

You can hear my voice I hear you flaws

Would you see a clown if the curtain came down

Would you stick around

And see me through

See me as you

If I take them off

Take them off

For you

street fighter 4

hyeakk!

shinn-kuuuuuuuuuuu

hadouuuu

kennnnnnnnnnnnnn

p/s : KKTHXBAI.

HoN - Heroes Of Newerth

HoN - Heroes Of Newerth is a brand new game which heavily based on the world most famous - Warcraft III : The Frozen Throne Defence Of The Ancient gameplay.still undergoing beta test.

my review :

watch this game live yesterday at wangsa maju.summore i watch it on youtube (played by SK^LODA - my dota idol).looks nice.superb graphics,superb effects and superb game play.not like dota,the heroes in HoN is not item dependable which means,items on heroes does not give any huge advantage but the synergy and teamwork + skills are the most important thing here.

well.from viewing people and from the videos from the youtube.i think for gamers its "CHUCK NORRIS-approved!"

but i've heard its having a battlenet system which need original key to login into the battle servers(ahh crappp).nvrmind later garena/warez hackers would provide the pirated ones and maybe using hamachi/lancraft to connect.HAHA!

watch yourself guys.those who called themselves dotard you shoud fucking see this game.

http://www.heroesofnewerth.com

p/s : personally i like the hero Valkyrie (Mirana Nightshade in DOTA) sbb my best hero was it.perfect ganking machine hehuha!

hero,heroic vs devil,evil

had enough with people who try so hard just to be a hero.
had enough with people who end in vain doing the act of hero.
had enough with people who arrive in shinning knight armour and trying to be a hero.

why bother to be a hero? why bother? seriously, why do you fucking bother to be a hero?

why must you try to save the day? for what particular reason in this fucking temporary world?

being a hero? duh? on what point of view? our own point of view? on the girls? or its it just your way of life? born to be a hero? what does society sees in your or "their" act of heroic

bullshit? must power be used to save the day? must everybody become superman? and if its too many superman and the world will end up become "FA LA LA LAND"?

somebody please answer this question of hero and heroic for fuck sake.

what about evil and the devil? is it wrong to use power just for fun.misusing it as it amuses us with the pathetic-ness of another weaker human being.being evil justified justice? so being evil towards another human based on any mutual reason causes "SIN" in the human eyes and will be foresee as discerning?

sigh.evil and devil has been false-labelled as the act of deviance by the people who claim the name "HERO" by themselves.having power is meaningless until you had fun with it.does being a hero fun? take a look at obi-wan kenobi.dead.in his own apprentice.wasting most of his life turning lord vader into good.

its just not in the movies.there's too many example out there for you to figure it out.

i just wonder.mesti ke jadi hero? perlu ke? kalau setakat nak berborak dari segi konteks keagamaan ke, konteks syahid or syurga neraka i think you didnt to leave any comments sbb i already know that.i mean,

how would the hero,heroic vs evil,devil would show any significant in this temporary world of our own creation?

p/s : devil inside the mass.

counting-song H

before this i never had the feeling counting the day to me to balik kampung.but now when in here,uniten,this year,i had that kind of feeling.i miss my buddies so much.really.the bond between my buddies are getting stronger and stronger each days.

well this raya gonna be weird.so weird.again i dont know how i'll survive this raya.hopefully i wud.

well the plan for the 1st raya is,go to grandpa's opposite of the house.salam2 with all the cuzzies,aunties and uncles.then i'll off to attufah's,waste the money at bp mall.n then the next day starting to execute plan like always, reunion of ex-sekolah bandar 6 baiduri.well im still the organizer for the 5th year this year.i didnt come out with a plan yet.since i didnt work so hard and didnt work out my brain for almost a year when i finished up my time at uitm,i feel a little bit fatigue in planning and thinking.im not stupid.im just a little bit rusty.

true,i fucked up my life back a year ago.now im a little bit fucked up with the programming and maths.im having difficulties in catching up in the studies but im currently doing my best out here.yes,most of the time im feeling lonely and alone.i didnt have a roomate,i fucked up my mind,end up fucked up taking psychopath medicine just to maintain my sanity.i fucked up my left punching whatever i can.

i wanna let all of this fuckups to go.go for real.changing lifestyles is a real hard deal.i made a lot of sacrifices just to be in here.a lot.i mean it.for those who's been helping me a lot during these fuckups moment,i cudnt say a thousand thanks.i cudnt buy the mountain just to repay back the help i received.i owe u.u saved my fucked up life.

i did too much damage to myself.i dont mind if my time to go now.coz god knows.i wanna live without regrets.i wanna let it all go.i dowanna live in a restraint self.i was blinded.i see that comming.but somehow i cant do anything just to get way from it.i was a talker.not a executor.i keep criticize people,i know how to advice them to get out from the hell hole.but i cant get out myself.ironic.enough with all these fucked up situation.

ENOUGH FUCKUPS IN LIFE.TILL WHEN I WANNA BE IN THIS FUCKED UP SITUATION.DO SOMETHING.

i'll try to survive.i WILL SURVIVE.

mood : stress condition : TARFU (totally and utterly FUCKED UP)

aku naik gila buat programming ni..emo..

sorry sbb termarah org sana.

tercakap kuat kat telepon just now.

aku stress.kau kena faham.jgn la paksa aku buat bende2 tak senonoh time aku bagi tau aku ada kerja.

yeah.mmg fucked up.

aku tak mintak banyak.

tolong paham je pun.

brotherhood.

shit aku sangat rindu akan "jyuupon gatana"

big boss,

tuffah,

syafiq,

luqa,

saniy,

hafiz,

muhammad,

aliff,

epi,

daus,

wan mangkok,

i miss the "bukkkon" sesion 3 am at MCD.journey pegi ke air terjun,genting or what-so-ever.sembang.like brothers.karoke.hangout midnite sap shisha.best friends.real brothers.real tears.real sweat.

consumed my own power.

great power comes great responsibility.itu lah yg di katakan oleh pak cik ben kepada peter parker.aku rasa kata² ini betul.tapi when kita ada kuasa.chances tuk salah gunakan is highly anticipated.

lets take some several virtual people and some movies personalities

ryu.sbb terlalu kuat,satsui no hadou (killing intention) change him into evil ryu.

ken,psycho power consume him and turn him into violent ken.

spiderman,symbiote assimilate dgn dia make him into dark spidey

jin kazama changes into devil jin

iori yagami turns into blood-riot iori

darth vader turned from anakin skywalker to avenge his wife

well thats what happen to me.aku try to be good.tapi taleh.this power.this talent.consuming me.i keep making enemies.people keep hating.when i start to pick a hero(dota),then personality aku bertukar.before i defeat them,i crush their minds,bringing fears into the very deepest core,crush their walls of ego with my cunning moves and strategy,reading their moves 100 steps ahead,wait them to go wrong,before i finally kill them for good.

and then.bila diorang dah mati.i laugh.laugh for their foolishness.laugh for their incapability.laugh for their weakness.while i had none.

shit aku benci mcm ni.i cant make any friends.how to contain this demon inside.is there any cure.anybody who could at least control the inner demon,inner beast of mine..i had enuf making enemies out there.i cant stop playing.if i do i'll die.thats what i do.gaming..

p/s : confessions of a professional gamer.qayyumx

kebodohan shah dan aku.haha

kisah pertama :

dialog ini tidak diubah sama sekali.ia adalah sebenar2 dialog

rain : (sedang makan pedal ayam).shah kau makan apa tu?

shah : ni ha tadi aku ada beli ayam sikit

rain : aku kalau part lain makan la tapi kalau yg tu aku tak makan

shah : ala ni apa nama ni..ha burek ayam (dia nak kata bontot ayam tapi terlupa nama) sedap ni doh.

aku & ashra : (sedang kunyah nasik lalu tersembur dan bergelak2 guling di atas simen)

aku : bahahahahaha burek ayam? ape sial kau ni shah

ashra : hahahahahaha

aku : hahahahahahahahaha mcm sial la ayat burek ayam

ashra : apasal kau tak cakap pantat ayam ke

zufrie : wei ayam ada buret ke...?

aku & ashra & rain : (terdiam jap dlm 5 saat) WKAHWEKHWKAHWKHKAWHKAWKHAWKHAKWH

adoi bodohnye si shah ni buat lawak

kisah kedua

ini berlaku pada pukul 4.00 pagi tepat

aku sedang berdiri di depan balconi rumah shah sambil melihat lepak corner.lalu ashra datang seblah membawa sebungkus kepek.aku rampas kepek tu dan merenung lepak corner.bile ntahnye nak bukak.perot dah mencanak2 lapar.selang 5 minit aku nampak kelibat macik tu nak bukak lalu ashra dan shah berborak

ashra : wei yum kau tgk apa tu

aku : .........

shah : (tgh mamai)

ashra : yum gile do shah.kau tgk tu.asek tenung lepak corner.asal tu

sejurus kemudian kedai tu bukak,aku terus berlari kebawah haha (laju sial)

ashra : ...... wei apasal dia lari..?

shah : .... kau tak tau .... (tak abis cakap lagi)

ashra pon follow aku berlari ke kedai hahahaha

shah : (terpinga2).. apa sial budak ni..

scene ni mcm dlm my boss my hero,sakaki pergi keja pudding.

haha.sesekali menjadi bodoh LOL

after 2 and a half months.

academics point of view:

-i found better brotherhood enviroment here.now i see what is the different between socialife in goverment-oriented university and private ones.the money spend is worth the pain,better.

-yeah i learn that sharing is good.but if sharing tu dah sampai tahap kritikal likes what im having last time at uitm,it wasnt so great.here i enjoy my life.privacy.eventho im living alone.i still share.but not with that regrets and worries (perhaps u wont understand until u lend ur mate a sony PSP with a private game data innit)

-yeah i kinda regret that i didnt enter MMU after i finished my SPM.UITM was a hellish nightmare for me.

-i befriended elites Malays here with elites mindsets.

-i changed a lot.appearance.mindsets.objective.

-trying to do new things.not just tersekat at designing and management/critical/creativity skills je.now im doing programmings,maths besides designing.hampir gila di buatnya.

life/social life point of view :

-yeah i live alone.its kinda lonely.sunyi.nothing much to do,nothing much to talk.

-yeah i've lost my heart.it was broken into zillion pieces which Dragon Ball pun cant save it.sangat2.yeah.fool me.still love the person who doesnt appriciate love.attufah aku dah faham penderitaan kau long time ago.now im going through it.

-getting sangat rapat dgn my jyuupon gatana's crew.thats real brother hood.real blood.real sweat.real money.real FRIENDS MEANING AND SIGNIFICANT LIES WITHIN THEM.

-i learn back my klantanese dialek.haha lama gila tak cakap kelantan since darjah 3.now im fluent back yeee

-menjadi sorang teater addict selain movvie addict.

-more organized.i learn to manage my unmanaged being.haha.

-i met my subordinates from gunbounds,dota and pirate kings.finally meet them :D *yay* tapi malangnya im as the leader need to spend out monehh *booo*

-dah buang my tipical malay of thinking sets.

-hati ini dah mati.dunno whos gonna bring it back to life.

-trying to buang sikap sarcasticness,cockyness and clumsiness in me.

-diazepam dah jadi mcm mentos aku haha.

-i've started to use back my phone.

ja~ne

komik hong kong

gambar : pendekar laut

aku yakin korang semua mesti baca komik.konfirm 100%.aku start baca komik since darjah 2.cerita alam pewira.mesti ramai tak familiar dgn komik ni.watak2 seperti ji fat,ji kou,ifrit utama serta penghukum dewa sudah pasti mengamit kenangan lama.haha.

then lepas alam pewira,munculah komik2 seperti dewata raya,anak-anak wira,hikayat senjata keramat,pedang setiawan,tornado 13,raja rimba, dan yg paling terkenal skali adalah pendekar laut dan wira tunggal.antara komik paling hit serta memberi saingan kepada dragon ball pada ketika itu.

komik dewata raya dgn pendekar laut aku ni sangat mempengaruhi kehidupan aku time kecik2.asal g skola je madah nak praktikkan jurus2 serta hikmat2 seperti ilmu kebal loceng emas,tinju maut pendekar laut 999,999 hp,gaya parang neraka 3 penjuru,juara tempur wira,hikmat putaran medan magnetic,tetakkan tidak kesal membunuh dewa.waahahaha banyak betul hikmat.mmg best gile.

dari generasi ke generasi pendekar laut ni gaduh.komik pendekar laut je dah 3 generasi.wira tunggal pun 3,tambah lagi wira tunggal pheonix dgn wira tunggal infinity.dari zaman pendekar laut,xinan,zonan,wunan,orga,blue dream sampai la ke topeng perak,sang asura.fuh mmg best.

wan yat leung mmg handal membuat cerita komik.aku salut.tapi kebanyakkan komik hong kong ni tidak sesuai di baca golongan minor sbb cerita dia agak serius.aku masih ingat pertempuran paling epic skali.

EPIC MOMENTS :

pendekar laut vs orga di bulan : result kepala orga kene tanam dekat bulan.

pendekar laut vs xinan 2nd round : xinan membunuh bapanya sendiri menggunakan tetakkan tidak menyesal membunuh ayah sendiri,sambil memegang kepala pendekar laut tanda kemenangan lalu bercucuran air mata.

penjejak neraka vs pendekar laut : sbb pertama kali aura pedang samurai di perkenalkan dlm komik hong kong

jerung rasaksa vs zonan (alat skynet) : jerung rasaksa yg kuat tu pon mati.abg kepada orga

break dream vs zonan : break dream putus 2

xibo vs zonan : anak kesayangan xinan rupanya kuat nak mampus

xiten (anak zonan tapi di bela xinan) : mati di tangan zonan sendiri

zonan vs xinan (2nd round) : zonan menggunakan 7 juara tempur wira lalu menumbuk xinan dgn tinju maut pendekar laut 1 juta HP mengorbankan nyawa xinan yg umpama telur di hujung tanduk.dendam antara adik beradik.

viktor (penjelmaan harimau hitam + naga merah) menewaskan pemakan dunia.LOL (yg ni dah berpuluh penjelmaan tipu sangat)

haha,tu je yg paling aku jelas.ada pic di bawah.courtesy google.saje je nak ingat balik time kecik2 dulu