went there today.dota gathering.zbz + kcr + gfg.aku tak rasa seronok sebenarnya.in fact aku rasa sangat sedih & sayu.
sbb.
terkena kryptonite sendiri.
there is where its all started.when she commit a crime by stealing my heart.and never return it back until today.every step i take.every shop i see.every corner i slip into.it gave me chills.feeling like stepping on ur own organ.stepping on ur own face.
my mess.my shit which i didnt cleaned up until today.
fuck,hence,
im going to sleep.
tomo ja~ne
times square
lama tak main tag.
1) Where is your cell phone?
on the desk.
2) Relationship?
loner
3) Your hair?
ok dont ask any question related to the hair
4) Work?
workaholic.dad's blood in me.
5) Your sister?
gila futsal.a good sister :)
6) Your favorite thing?
ibony, ivory, julia, sylvia, nika.
7) Your dream last night?
none dlm masa terdekat ni
8) Your favorite drink?
tiada yg tetap.tapi skarang gila milo ice.ngaa
9) Your dream car?
harrier kot.i dont like sporty cars.i like elegant ones
10) Your shoes?
nike air with golden laces.just like 2pac shakur.
11) Your fears?
currently none
12) What do you want to be in 10 years?
getting job in korea.dont f-ing laugh please
13) Who did you hang out with last weekend?
yup.hommies for sure.
14) What are you not good at?
courting chicks.
15) One of your wish list items?
razer equipments.currently odering steel series tapi masih belum sampai.what took u so long?
16) Where you grew up?
alot of places.kelantan i spend the early childhood there, then move in johor.till now
17) Last thing you did?
keep my fingers in check.they kinda loose.
18) What are you wearing?
just boxer.without shirt.
19) What aren’t you wearing?
earings
20) Your pet?
at home.probably going crazy
21) Your computer?
her name is sylvia.
22) Your life?
currently having multiple awards and success but i do not have a special somebody to share with.im fine alone
23) Missing?
those shits.2-3 years back
24) What are you thinking about right now?
how do i make this f-ing pain go away
25) Your car?
i had none
26) Your kitchen?
is where i cook my meals.
27) Your favorite color?
dark choc
28) Last time you laughed?
a couple of sec ago
29) Last time you cried?
last friday.watching i am sam.
30) Love?
tiffany
31) So who wants to share their ONEs?? How about?
i dont give a damn
Your five people whom you always text with :
1. facebook text alert
2. luna k
3. sakdianah
4. rafik kamal
5. college buddies under the group (collegues)
32) five people that give u an inspiration and laugh with after few sec
1. house
2. ryan renolds
3. rafik kamal
4. edge
5. tiffany-nuuna :)
i tag nabila,sihin,keen.syana.shada.luna.rafik.everybody lah/
bukan marah.tapi sedikit pesanan
sick n tired people panggil aku sombong.please la.aku bukan sombong.cuma.aku tak suka buat kerja separuh jalan.i mean...i hate losing
benda yg simple.as dota.i prefer tuk main dengan my guys from garena sbb they can play.
bukan aku tak nak main dgn korang.tapi cam.u guys are new.kita main practice kita sama kita its okay.frankly speaking u guys are not ready yet.berapa kali dah aku nak cakap.korang tak ready.that person degil.yes la u can play but others? main lah with ai 1st.train secukup rasa.aku bole je main dgn ai layankan korang.train sorang.tapi to go against these people in these server yg mmg bukan league aku, teaming up with korang sama je mcm aku main sorang against 5 ppl.yes i am good but 5 vs 1 of course aku out numbered.
please lah.stop calling me sombong atas sebab benda sekecil ni.cmon man.use common sense.aku tak sombong cuma u guys arent ready yet.
im not mad.i just hate losing.thats all.these people berani borak dlm ni je.bila aku ajak playing on the mainstream.they balls suddenly dropped.bragging tak kena tempat.inside campus bole la bro.come on la we try on mainstream.
aku boleh jamin less then 10 mins siap aku kerjakan seko2.
good nite.
brothers to fraiser hills.
brothers.no matter what happen between us.brothers is still brothers.glad im having u all as brothers.
cb boss u hilangkan my black snow cap.niama.ganti balik cb
updates-updates
i dont really know what to write here.there so many things i wanna write on about.but i didnt have time to do so.
now,how i wish i had 2 heads,6 arms, or i learn on kage bunshin no jutsu do my biddings on life.
lately i keep on falling sick.2 times fever on the same week.injured my legs again.accidentally punched the rock -.-
em.yeah.
dont know i had to say this or not.btw,sorry luna k.didnt meant to disturb u sleeping last night.i was ...... shocked in exited in worried.
i am sorry.
450
in this 450th blog post.its gonna be some soft-touching post.haha i see many of my close friends having a difficult moment right now.some having relationship problems,some having a major stress and headaches.and some is having a personal grudge against someone.
lonely.let me define lonely from my perspective view.i am ditched by my girlfriend last year's summer and its gonna be a year in 3 months.i have been through depression and craziness along the way and almost die out of it.and then one night.this one night.when all hope are lost,when i am at the verge out of sanity, this feeling of sanity,the depression, bloated out craziness suddenly stops.feeling empty for the whole night.i lie on my bed.cant move, cant stop to think is this the end of me?
i dont know for how long i was in that empty space.and then i woke up.a thousands of questions struck my head.too many voices with too many questions.i keep hearing shit and shit.till one moment i visualized it throughout my mind and punch it all away.but the reality is,i didnt realize that the one i punch is the door and when i stop...my arms were in blood.when i came to think about it, it was a very stupid way of getting rid all of those harmful feeling.ask urself.what good comes out for being crazy? depressed all the time? what is the point of going thru that situation when the person who did this to u is having fun? rather then u being crazy or doing damage to urself, just go and stab him/her.thats right.u read this.stab her.
ignore that.
i dont know how this cooping mechanism works on everybody but i think when ur really,really,really wanna get out of that pit of malice which splatted on ur face, at least please have some motivation to improve how things are.today i am a new man.i had to confess that i had did some stupid moves to get things improve but yeah, stupid way gives u stupid result.
have some faith in urself.stop crying.do something.let it go in the most stupid way that u can.but end it with the smartest way u could come out with.to those who thinks they are alone in the mess, ur totally wrong.u got me.u coulda' use me.i can be ur best buddy.i cud be ur shoulder to cry.because i was there.i know how it feels.rip u apart.and theres nothing u can do right?
lucky me.i had somebody who wants to me my shoulder and all.credits and kudos given to nabila,luna,rafik.luqa.attufah.to those i forget to mention his/her name here pls noted that ur deserve this credits and kudos too.these are the good people.good friends who never ditch and leave each other.no matter what.
highlight this traits :
1.be a forgivable person.
2.let it go.
3.do not give up.
4.seek happiness.not conflict.
5.reduce tense.do not overthink.
6.stay tough.
well.im a new man now.look what the world had to offer me with its richness.haha gila poyo ayat.im not a hero.but i did all of these in the act of responsibility.the people need.i'll try my best to provide.not for myself.for my buddies.they saved me once.i'll save them this time.
*currently listening to lifehouse - breathing"
p/s : our journey arent meant to stop here.i reckon.keep on striving fellows.
Jyuupon Gatana
sorry.aku mmg tak dapat balik kali ini.tanggungjawab aku berat.sangat.aku bukan taknak balik ke apa.
aku mmg takboleh nak balik.sorry sbb aku ruin planning korang.maaf.gomene.
aku letakkan jawatan as organizer n dengan bebas hatinya keluar dari jyuupon gatana.
aku tak sanggup nak hadap muka kehampaan korang semua.walaupun korang dah maafkan aku tapi aku mmg merasakan aku lah punca kepada segala2nya.
biarlah aku membawa diri keluar dari jyuupon gatana.sorri boss naim.sorry.masih ada org lain yg bole pikul tanggungjawab sebagai organizer.aku tak efficient dah.uwa
sobs.sobs.sobs...
mampuslah kau rafik kamal
ni blakangnya
nah ni depan nya.p/s : aku tau kau jeles rafik.aku tau.hahahahaha.
hey
its been awhile since the last post.sem ni aku sangat sangat sangat sangat sibuk.tak cukup masa.unlike when i was in itm.
baru balik dari muadzam shah ni.buat show teater kat sana. now tinggal bangi punya show.i'll upload the pictures later lah.
had a lot of readings and counting to do.off gotta go.study time.
cyah
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