that one point

i knew it sucks to be the only single person in a circle of friends. i knew it sucks just to watch them in their facebook or twitter and all sort of shit. and when they had problem, they turn to u. i knew that being "you" now sucks. u had no obligation towards somebody and any issue. and ur friends came to u with this relationship probs. and down the lane, u'll find urself pathetic. ur friends comes and go with their partner and issues and only comeback when they hit rock bottom. and then, there u are. single. alone, miserable and want attention. but u dont know to turn to who. or which. or whatever.

i know how hard it is to be a group leader. to watch all of ur members getting married and sttle down. having nobody's left to ask for a late night drink or hanging out session. ur stuck alone. by ur fucking miserable self. and u start to rant about this. in a way. u turn bitter. u turn sour. u wanted to tell the world that ur alone. lonely. but u have no intention to lose ur ego. u refuse to talk to ur friends because of this. u want them to figure u out. just like a child. and when people ask why did u post things like this and that, u'll say its just a random thing to do.

ur sick and tired playing the wingman role. ur sick and tired making big leaps and sacrifices. not for urself. for somebody else. acting okay and happy for them because they got what they want. but deep inside, ur hurting. do not lie. i know. u know. we know. we all face this one point in ourlives and most probably do not know how to deal with this. ur happy, ur not happy, ur lost, confused. shits, and stuffs.

u said that its okay to accept that the fact ur not happy, and admit ur mistakes. but now? what are u doing? ur not what u said u are. u didnt. u didnt accept the fact that ur jealous. and u too want some loving. and u have ur own relationship problem. maybe it didnt work out. maybe this and that. u want to spill it out. but ur friends are busy with their own life. but ur there when u need them, and they're gone when u need them. and all of this, hurt u. deep down. 

and u'll ask the all of those questions all over again. is this the meaning of our brotherhood? one bro down, others walk away? wheres the brocode? and the code of conduct? fuck this bro shit? leave me alone rants? why me?

personally. i see these a lot. not in my circle. but others. 2 best friend. 2 best bro. one got married and carry on with life. the other suffers.

honestly. i dont have the answer or solution for this. and neither do u. nor us.

but i know one thing. start talking and make them pay attention to what ur saying. and not acting like a child, wanted to be figured out each time.

i am willing to listen if u want to. and sort out things. and maybe start fixing things around. and it doesnt have to be alone who fix things. i can help. we can always go back to what we was. and just because he/she already have their respective partner, things will have to change. and yes, it does, but. learn to accept that things change. and it cant go on like that forever. and ur time will come soon. just please..hold on till that time comes. just hold on..ur too far already to stop at this point.

maybe i acted like i already been thru all of those shit and maybe act like i knew everything. but trust me. i've been there. for all of those miserable days. i didnt forget. i didnt forget each and everynight i went thru. with and without company. one of those days u walked home alone in the rain. hollow. empty. gone. 

get urself a grip. dont give up. go for a reality check. a gateaway. whatever. just to comeback on feet once again. wake up. make some sense out of urself.