a week

im trying to bounce back on my feet. trying to see whats..in front of me. cant deny that the fact i am at loss, lost, and feel so out of place few times in a day. early in the morning. i've lost my goals, my motivation, the self-empowering..the urge of get up, work ur ass up because ur going to marry her, get up ur mom wanted to see ur effort if ur really going to get married, proving myself that i am capable of this that..

no. its no longer day. i know i have to get up but i cant help it. i feel nothing. this is different. this is not 5 years ago. i am now managing a lot of people under me, i took care of 5 state sales and business and i cant be like this i know, but..it cant be helped...

im helpless.

at night, is the worst part.

ur sleepy. ur going to sleep and ya know u gotta get up early in the morning. lay down 1230 am. and at the very moment, in between falling asleep and being conscious..memory struck in..

god..oh god..i even beg this self..to god..wanting that he took away every and each of those memories away because its hurting me...i cant do this..god...and the clocks enters 1...and 2.... and 3...and there u go 6.30 am in the morning.

and u will eventually fall asleep. and waking up few hours later. 9 am. realizing that..u did not have enough sleep. u cant get up because u have no goals in ur life nemore. ur tired, mentally..physically..

i want to bounce back. guide me. show me how. once again, show me how...

i am not what these guys are used to see...