motive

theres nothing much to be told. truth is, im having a pretty bad week. again with my job, stuffs. and i pretty much cant handle things besides myself. and i am going to start my 3 month training at local outlets, yes. u heard me. 3 months of penalty because of my behavior during last meeting. i didnt fuck up. all i did is, i said something about the truth and nature of being in a consumerism lines and its corruptions and it backfires. i dont mind. NOT

anyway. they took away almost everything from me. my projects, my awards, my medal, my everything. i have been working on this one project on semenyih area. idk how to say, but sigh...i build it from scratch..everything..and they took it away from me...

my heart, was broken. im losing my mind. i am losing each and every bit of my mind and sanity. and besides, these few days..things happen in my family. all my life, i never see anything like this, or experience things like this.

idk i shud be sharing this or not. but this did made me cry my heart out the whole day.

27 years of living, and this is the 1st time he said sorry. and i know the word "dad, abah, ayah and so on" with its truest meaning. and i know theres a lot going in his mind right now. and i shudnt be any burden to him right now. and all i gotta do is to help him, help my family go thru this bad times.

gotta stay strong ya know. gotta keep it straight. keep my head up, keep my heart strong. and how i wish, my family is just like any other ordinary family. dad-son relationship. mother-daughter. ya know. the usual stuffs.

i think this is it for now. i am going to sleep and thr starts my 3 month training/punishment or whatever it is. all i gotta to is to survive, 9-5. issit so hard?