game over - part one

"somebody : i wont let u upset of this
me : dont, and i wont. hahaha, cmon, apa lagi yang boleh buat kayum upset? 
somebody : amboi confidentnya dia :)"

i consider myself as damaged goods. i am just another page that you go thru without noticing much. just like whats written in today newspaper. and you just dont break whats already broken. at this point of life, at this kind of age, theres nothing much left that cud surprise me in anyway. im sick and im twisted, im broken and you cant fix it. 

i waste all of this self on and get nothing in return. i dont hope, anymore. i live with this day-to-day objective basis. and the only thing i am afraid of is..waking up early in the morning, with nothing or nobody to fight for..

i tried to get myself involved in another series of relationship(?) right after you. but it seems like i cannot run away from what happened before (my past) and what is going to happen next. its too complicated and i end up..mood-less. found myself in the nothing-ness of this deep void that you left me with. but idk. too many things in between. this one friend, your ex is my bestest bro, you again and the wont be that smooth sailing if its going to happen already and all of these "what-if" scenario if it turn sour.

so keep myself in the trees(dota jokes - hyhy "i told you to stay in the trees) so i hold back. i hold back so hard until i didnt make a move at all. i was stuck in this endless loop of sequence. i dont know for how long i would be stuck in this endless cycle of loop. god knows. and ya know..bad things comes in packages. 

there. for now. idk when is the 2nd part is going to be written or publish as i already had like 21 post that i kept in the draft but were never posted.


game over yum. game over