Early 2017 burnt out

I think i have reached my limit. I am burnt out from work, daily life, people. I talked to my personal doctor, and she say the same thing too.

"Kayyam, idk how many times i told you, but this is not healty. Overworked, under heavy preassure n stress. Idk how in the world you could manage to sleep 4 hours a day, wake up early in the morning, carry the whole mountain behind your back. Belajar kesiankan diri sendiri"

And another 30 minutes of consultation related to my mental health whats not. I didnt keep any secret from my doc. She knew things about me which i keep away from people. And i think she should know a thing or two about me so i can get proper medications/consultations.

And she told me that i do get upset when things didnt meet my expectation. This is bad bcos tak semua org can deliver like i do. And bcos i put so many effort and energy into people and things yg wont have the same return as the effort given, i get frustrated. I am being too hard on myself. Her advice, take some time off the world.

I hardly fall asleep at night. If im sleeping, most of the time pun restless. Tak dapat tido yg proper. Bangun pagi pun dah mcm mesen. Bukan sbb alarm ke apa. Sbb otak mmg dah set nak kena bangun pagi so usually akan bangun bfore alarm bunyi. Mcm org baru bangun dari nightmare berpeluh2. Was given atarax to deal with this, but takkan nak bergantung kat atarax sampai bila2?

Balik rumah from work main game pun doesnt solve the issue. Sebenarnya demotivated pun ye jugak. Lepas kalah tjlan haritu, 2nd place, mmg takde mood at all. Last month beli horizon zero dawn, main around 48 hours pastu dah mcm hilang semangat. Last monday beli tom clancy wildlands, pun awal2 je smgt lepas tu...

I feel like taking a week off. Pastu balik kg. Rehat ke rejuvenate my energy semula. Need to break this work-home routine, fill up dgn benda2 baru. Being too efficient tak boleh juga. I feel like going on a vacation too. Wanted to visit my parents but theres so many things needed to be done bcos of the conditions...

Mom also is giving me a hard time these past few weeks. Boleh rasa dia punya stress asik kena push dgn dia..

I need a break. Period.