recovering

well as u guys know,i involved in an accident last tuesday.nothing much but my upper rib has moved a few inches,broke 2 of my fingers and a sprained ankle.

my 2nd major accident which twice i think "oh im gonna die this time"

but still.im alive.im grateful

below is my 1st major accident late in june 2007

broken arm and leg

pity me XD

and last nite i went to a remote village in batu pahat.somewhere near rengit to try the traditional massage.haha to tell u the truth,i almost cry myself out.sangat painful T.T.the ahjuma (korean word for old women) is very skilled and she's cool too.i want a granny like that (she smoke,she wears sunglasses and having a cool attitude)

when the massage gonna start,she warn me 1st.do not cry.i thought it was a joke.i said "alah nenek tua ni bukan kuat pon".and the moment she start to pour some oil to my chest,i feel something weird.damn my chest were burnin like hell.and she ask me to lay down and she start the process.for the 1st 2 mins i still can laugh,but after a moment i hear "KRAK,KRAK.KRAK" lol my chest were moving here n there.fak damn painfull like shit.almost shit out from my pants and cry myself out.

and today i do the same routine and my last day.after the massage i went back home straight away sleepin.just wake up at 4.30 am and im feeling great.feeling more then great.i havent feel this good.i feel lighter.feel fresh and i can run like 10-20 miles.lol im not joking.

probably the granny repaired my veins,nerves and bone and perhaps she did something good to my blood flow.i havent feel this fresh for a long time.

well.im off to jog after the subuh prayer.see u later :D

ja~ne

end of my gaming career..

been in a accident last tuesday.

got a fractured chest,2 broken fingers,half cooked knee and elbow.

damn..

sakai

today i went to a cyber cafe in parit raja.i was told that they are the most worthy opponent here in batu pahat.

so i went there with a couple of friends.act stupid and dont know what is DOTA.i see them playing DOTA live in action.chatting in the malay's self-proclaimed room 20.being the most star-studded players ever in room 20.

(the truth is room 20 is the place for many malays who are weak and they become strong because they have a lot in numbers)

well one this fellow of mine tells me that one of the clan lord APO was living in batu pahat,thats y i decided to check em out at the cyber cafe near UTHM.

haha.well these are my observation :

1.they are obviously MAPHACKERS (i didnt have prove with me but i'll get some meanwhile)

2.seriusly,they team sucks.

3.they are a bunch of kids.i mean..sakai kids from parit.well u know.

4.claiming to know ct-pemakandunia and idolize Nv.Azen is their pride.ROFL

i keep roaming and roaming.and have a chat with the local cc owner and players.wahh cerita masing2 taknak jatuh.lucky i didnt tell them i KCR|9999 / or the legendary qayyumx.

sigh.

jaguh kampung trying to act big.so not worthy for my opponent.or being my food.

well.adios.

p/s : i have bought a PS3 OH YEAH BABY

shit..bermulalah hari2 segan aku

i was on tv last nite

channel 104.

astro RIA

on the game show called : KATA KAU

harini ashra dgn heri.

next aku.

ok lets thicken the WALLS of SHAME.

dang..

improvements

finally -___-

berjaya kemaskan bilik.

sususan yg sama dari aku form 1 dah berubah.haha

er bole la.best skit.banyak jumpa barang yg dah hilang

novels.comic.wahaha

things between me and eliza is getting better.

she's getting better and started working back.

im happy.

were happy.as a friend.

thats good.

a new gf?

i dont think so.2015 perhaps?

p/s : if u wanna do something and want it to work,do it ur way.

just an opinion

i think the literacy of the internet usage in our country need to be improved.im seeing minor-aged kids using social friend findings websites.saying things that didnt match their age and doing stupid stuff selling,asking,promoting what ever they can.

this is not the way.

perhaps.

i wanna do something.but.my way are radicals.people cant follow my way.

well lets hope for a better future.

lucky me.

i was born with addiction of gaming.and use the internet for that purpose only.

mom,u shud be lucky im not bitching out myself out there and turn gay.

dad,

yeah sorry wasted ur money paying for the electric and internet.

but i didnt do drugs.

i didnt smoke.

i didnt race.

:)

saint

what are people call to other people who are doing the right thing for the cause but he/she is doing it in a wrongly manner.

a saint?

a hero?

the black sheep?

the devil?

demon?

pope?

goodbye

goodbye batu pahat.see u next 2 weeks.

em goodbye eliza.

a good friend wont ditch another.

i'll take care of you.

i always do.

lets do it my way this time either u like it or not.

at least im doing something.

oh faci faci.why me?

abe yum needed? ngaaa

new

suddenly all the girls have updated on the World Cup just to gain attention.

bila ajak lepak tgk bola or ask about EPL,BPL,La Liga,

well u know.

attention-seekers,attention-addicts.

1134

when you manage to keep away the emotions and start counting brains,

thats when the real war begins

......

putus harapan dah dgn internet rumah aku.nothing can be done to reverse this.stuck dgn speed mcm ni till 2012.

yeah.

skali lagi.

2012

and for what purpose im having this pc.dream pc oleh semua lelaki out there.dual graphic cards.dual processor.lcd 24"

tell me.for what purpose?

another break up.

since 5th may till now 10 june.i've been in more then 18 breakups.well here's the story goes.

i had a girlfriend which i didnt like at first because of the accidentally mistake i did during my exam week last march.since i've say ok,so i didnt backout.i tried so hard to live with that mistake.

long story short.yeah.i fall jugak dgn dia.but in mid may.she's fallen sick.detected with stage 2 colon cancer, my world turns black.i can understand her pain..everything..i just can understand..but not feeling it..now shes kinda stable and staying at home.but with some gruesome painfull medication..

and things happens..and lately she tell me to go away..because of her condition..another quarrel,end up with im losing and she keeps telling me to go away..the next day,she acts like nothing happens..and this keeps going till yesterday.

today i didnt rply any of her msges.not because i dont want to.im just..i dont know what to say..

yes i know ur sick..but..urgh if i cud only explain my feeling..

dammnit.im loving u right now but u tell me to go away after all effort i gave in just to let my heart open? i deserve better..u only think about urself.and how bout mine? it always been u since the 1st date,the 1st text, the 1st food.hey.what am i? A DOLL?

do u know i went to the barbershop and cut my hair down.and i go scream in the middle of jalan zabedah screaming my lungs out like SHIIIT because i am so fuckin stress with every-single-fucking-things that happens lately.

life's so hard man..i never.ever.everrrr scolded u in any way.the same with having/starting a quarrel with u in any way.i keep on my temper inside.i know ur sick.YES I AM AWARE.duh..sakiiiiit sangat dalam hati.ntah pada sapa or pada apa aku nak lepaskan..

i hope ur reading this..i hope somebody read this.and help me..recover myself..im lost..

what am i?

everyday.i didnt recognize myself anymore.i dont even like my fav food.i dont even like my fav drink.

i didnt even listen to alternative songs anymore.i had no heart for dota.i mean.."heart".the spirit of it.now im doing it without any feelings.i didnt read comics.i had no interest in sleeping.either food.i didnt watch house.or csi.or big bang theory.i didnt ride my bike.no driving.

i feel so lost right now..so damn lost..i had no interest in my phone..buying things..anything..

what am i..who am i..

what is my purpose..

im lost..

ugly things that u dont wanna know about me.

first kiss?

in tgv one utama.aeon flux movie.4 th december 2005.

first girlfriend?

ana alisha/aziera.im dating twins.from 31 august 2005 till 21 february 2006.

drink?

yeah.why not?

pills?

less then 5 times

weed?

once.

evercheated when u with someone else?

yes.i did.2 times.but i didnt make the move.i'll just texting.and not flirting.i just cheated on who's the texter.

virgin?

no.

club?

5 times as long as i can remember.

high?

is shisha included?

suicide?

several times.just didnt die yet.

racing?

no.

hitting people/gangsterism?

no.

bad mouthing people?

no.im not like that.

and no.im not answering any furthur question from u.enough.

487

its been a while since my last post.im kinda busy lately.handling my pirate crew,doing some stuffs,this and that a little bit.

well.i manage to wear up a mask that i think people wouldnt notice.there is a lot of me that i didnt show up.well.im feeling like jolting down here.so people know.so when they know.they would have and idea.what am i feeling right now.

1.what would u do when u had a mom that doesnt cook.what would u do if u had a kitchen with nothing on it.what will u do when u had no transport at home.what are gonna do if u didnt have any money.

cook ur own meal? ask for money? call the mcd/pizza? get a work? ask for her to cook?

believe me.NONE of THESE works.

2.what is ur feeling when people keep asking u about simple stuffs as how to install these in ur computer.find me the meaning of this ______,find me softwares,how to set up this and that.help me look for cd key.

i am not a HUMAN GOOGLE.how does i find things? THIS HUMAN GOOGLE also does GOOGLING.

HTTP://GOOGLE.COM or HTTP://GOOGLE.COM.MY

effort guys.efforts.buat dulu.kalau salah.baru tanya.learn by mistakes.sighh

3.i had enough with racism.believe me.the malays,the chinese,and the indians are all the same.i find this country is beyond safe-able.none of the malays,the chinese and the indians are capable of proving me whos the best.

4.i smile because of i HAD to.yeah.fake SMILES.

5.things between me and eliza didnt work out very well.at 1st,when i still didnt had any feeling for her.she keeps doing it and doing it.and when the sky breaks into two.and when i already opened up my heart for her.she tell me to break it off.im FEELING PAIN down here.i tried to love u.yes and im loving u.but when im doing all of that u tell me to break it off because of things that didnt occured yet.i dont believe in fate which that we forseen without doing some effort.i DECIDE MY OWN FATE WITH MY OWN ACTIONS.u break my heart so bad u know.after all the things i done to opened up heart.i even force myself to do this and that.sigh.this is a bad joke u know.bad joke.

WHAT? U WANT A PIECE OF ME? CMON.IM TIRED OF BEING A GOOD PERSON.IM TIRED OF SHOWING A FAKE SMILE.IM TRIED OF ALL THIS LIFE'S SHITS THAT HAS BEEN HAPPENING.WHERE IS MY HOME? THIS IS WHAT? SHITS? GIVE ME BACK MY FAMILY.GIVE ME BACK MY LIFE.FUCKING GIVE IT BACK.

GET ME BACK MY HAPPY FAMILY.GET ME BACK MY MOM.GET ME BACK MY DAD.MAKE THIS HOME.A "HOME"