june rants

its been 4 years. since the date 20 june 2009. tak banyak nak cakap, i am living well. eat well, play well. and so does everything else. glad i survived this date without much struggle, at first, yes, hell on earth, tercari-cari apa nak buat, dengan sapa, how i woulda survive without whom i knew for so long, the one i talk with, the one i share with. but somehow, i manage to pull this on my own. surviving, and striving.

ok enough about that. i once talk with "ehem" in a serious conversations regarding, dont u want somebody in ur life?

jujur, saya cepat bosan. ini bukan mereka yang cuba ataupun saya yang cuba dekati, paling lama pun seminggu, i had it all figure out. i know what she likes, i know what she wants to wear, i know her background, i know almost everything about her just in a week. tapi tak semua. 1st impression, as the process going deeper and deeper, and eventually have chance of meeting, during twtups or random lepaking session, usually my impression is amazingly accurate. tapi saya totally lansung tak salahkan the other party.

its all about me. either im losing all of my skills, or girls are just like that (stereotyping) and its just me, who've done it all in the previous relationship. during that 10 years of friendship (including 4 years being together) we have been texting since form 3, can u believe that? and do almost everything. were kinda having a hybrid of long distance and close-distance relationship. im out of games to play just keep the love on and on. i've run out of idea what to do next, and when im going to use it in the coming relationship, i already knew, i already knew what will happen. yes there is always things which i didnt do yet, but i dont know, i've done everything with this damn brain, and to hope the other party to do the same, its hard.

sekejap je rasa teruja tu. nak tau nama, nak tau itu ini, bila dah tau. alahai makin lama makin hambar, and then bila tak tahu, mulalah nak give up. im stuck like this. ni la padahnya bila kau dah terlalu lama bercinta, dah buat segala apa, in the end tak jadi, and u'll become dumb in the next big thing. part "get to know her" je best, bila part "getting her" dah jadi tak best. tak tau kenapa,

ah ntah hape aku membebel. twitter down, maintenance maybe. to those few people who seems terasa dgn perbuatan aku ni, i apologize, i am sorry tho, in the process, u guys kena friendzone. u guys shud be my buddy, not somebody in the friendzone circles. too bad, i am picky about having buddies, friends, who cud make a difference. who is there, always, supporting u no matter what.

i need help. maybe u could help me. unlock the inner me.
good night.
i shud get some sleep.