Deeper Conversations

its 6.39 pm. i am at the 3rd floor of the parking area of suria kinrara condo. and i climb up the ledge. take a sit. watch the sunset in the middle of KLCC and KL tower view. i was soaking wet in my working clothes. a sigh.
that is all for the moment. a long sigh and a double facepalm to my face. i was tired. and obviously thinking about things.

while im having a me-time on the rooftop, i heard a voice asking me.

"what happen? a long and tiring day? need a drink?"

i wasnt replying at all. keep on the posture of facepalming and after a few minutes, i turn my head to the right a little, i saw a woman, dressed in green black offering me a tin of nescafe. and i said,

"why, does it matter to u anyway? what will it does to me if i answered all of ur question?"

i know i was rude, but i dont know why i am talking like that to some stranger person whos offering me a drink. i took a deep nod down there. and after a few moments i took my eyes to the sky.

"beautiful isnt it? its not the best view but its still beautiful aite? u wont get this view anywhere, i pay a lot of money to get this place. and still, it doesnt give me peace at all"


"for what all of these things if had not found any peace at all, what have not i done this time? why am i being ignored?

the women in green-black suit steps forward, and tap my shoulder, and without me looking at her she says :

"ur lost ur way somehow. i can see thru it, but i dont have any fixing to do with u. no medication provided. only u can find ur own way, ur life, ur goals, nobody gonna set ur goal unless u start to find one"

nodding my head down again, i answered 

"if i set my goals, i might leave everything, every person, every memories behind. and i dont want to lose that. i have faith. i have responsibility to take care off. how can i forget everybody else? i had nobody with me now. not even my mom and my dad to guide me. all left in this place is me. is me. the joke? its on me"

she replied 

"enough worrying bout the others, u have ur own life, leaving them behind doesnt mean that u gotta keep em away forever. ur just going for awhile and once u settle down with ur goals, come back here. those people will wait for u forever. u keep all of the burden to urself and u getting hurt each time u took all of those burden, being a hero each time. even superheroes need help"

speechless. and i watch the skies turning dark-orange and the sun is halfed in size.

"what about u? will u leave me? will u join me in my quest? and what if i lost u in the journey? to whom shall i talk to again? 

*small laughing*

"haha, u dont have to worry about that. i am always there with u. conscious, or unconsciously. i am always there, watching u from a far, help u in anyway i can"

she walks awayfrom me. leaving her footsteps echoes in the empty parking lot. i throw away my beg. and began to climb down from the ledge. i lie down. watching the skies. and it cries again.

closing my eyes shut, turn my head to the left, ah, its u tihani, thank you. thank you.