here comes ur man

didnt had the chance to go back to hometown. rindu lauk mak sebenarnya. mee goreng, asam pedas, kuey tiau, makroni, nasik lemak, nasik ayam, and all of that stuffs. sigh..yet kerinduan kat hati terubat la jugak harini. dapat buka puasa dgn bebudak celaka party. eventho tak semua yg datang, yet, dapat la juga rasa kemesraan keluarga. its like having another brother and sister from another mother. kenal diorang dah lama apa semua. 

thank you. i feel much appreciated with u guys come today. and my wrist condition is getting worst. boleh rasa sakit tu everytime i apply pressure. getting harder nak bawa motor, or even buka pintu, capai wallet kat belakang seluar pun rasa duh...

as u can see, i need to wear wrist guard. any attempt bend it fwd or bkwrd hurts. ibu jari bawah bengkak. rasa macam urat kena tarik if i keep on clicking the mouse or type any shit on my keyboard. minimum, 3 weeks. and if the condition worsen, area wrist tu akan build fluid and operation la jawabnya.

and i just need to wait for this weekend to end. the international 2014 and stuffs, ya know. and i decide that i want to fully retired from any of dota shit, from twitter, and probably tinggalkan fb je kot. senang org nak kontek ke apa. with this current condition of my right hand, doesnt look good if i keep on doing all of that stuffs. and probably the best decision for me. 

sums it all up

do u want to know hows my week like? izat quits while anna's leaving for menara. too many site visits for the time being. so much workload so much things i have to attend to. im all stress up, and have nobody to talk to. and after the ulcer thingy, im struggling with the high acid building inside, my boss is leaving and i feel pretty much useless, nobody tells me anything, not even email, anything.

and u. theres no sorry of any sort, no asking hows my day like, i feel used, i feel unappreciated, i feel worthless, i feel like i am receiving nothing from u, i feel fooled by u, u fucked me over and over and over again, played me, used me, and i fucking let u had the best of me. and i dont know which guy ur fucking with right now till u have nothing to say to me and treat me properly like u shud, and like what i did to u. and yeah its all about u. ur fucking stupid books, ur fucking stupid mobile wifi, ur fucking penang trip and ur tag along friend, ur fucking sleeping/sleepy problem.

and ur leaving, just like that, after what/everything/ has been said and done. again, and again, and again.
i had enuf of u, and ur friends, and probably everysinglething about you.

and i dont feel like working, and i dont feel like eating, i dont feel like doing anything at all. thank you


thats sums up my week.


it feels like grey's anatomy or house ending where when the day ends, people gets to leave to their families, respective partners, and all sorts of happy ending where im here, stuck in my office/room, in the dark.

but my version was rather...sad. i did nothing to be proud of. have nobody to return to, nobody to say hi and sorts.

yeah. i think im gonna live thru this. 

p/s : i dont believe in any of ur shit. not to be in a relationship and stuffs. just another boy/guy. whatever. 

sometimes the world doesnt need a hero. sometimes, what it needs, is a monster

and i think im turning into one..right now..


kamu adalah sisa-sisa janji yang aku sentiasa penuhi manakala aku adalah sisa-sisa janji yang engkau tidak penah tepati.