post mo-term final AFF Suzuki Cup 2010

ada beberapa perkara aku nak sentuh kat sini.

bahagian 1 : keadaan stadium

-stadium ok.cantik semua cukup lengkap.yang jadi tak bestnya :

i. bawak awek datang tgk bola.kalau awek lu tu betul2 fan takpe.kalau setakat mcm )(&!@*)^*(#)!%_!#$}_ la kan baik lu suruh awek lu duduk rumah je, jangan penuhkan seat stadium kalau lu nak jerit sorak sambil peluk awek lu. boleh bro? semak la mata gua tgk awek lu ni.sakit mata

ii. bapak budak yg beli tiket tuk dewasa 2 tapi bawak anak-anak ramai nak mampus sampai 4-5 pastu dominate seat.lepas tu anak kau melalak tak tentu hala sbb bising pastu nak kencing la nak air la.baik seat tu bagi org lain la.cmon la please. we talking about pure sport nak tgk dgn family beli la home-theater.lepak kat sofa dgn family.masak fries siap2.

iii. pukimak yg letak makanan handbeg atas seat kosong.buat gap.wei babi apa lancau korang ni nak makan ke nak buat fashion show?

bahagian 2 : system & management stadium

i. sepatutnya tiket dgn seat tu cukup.tapi haritu ?

ii. enterance tu patut buat luas sikit.then guna system yg lebih memudahkan org.macam kat lrt tu ke.cmon la gov spend la duit sikit.bukan banyak pon stadium dalam malaysia ni

iii. ok they shud susun the hawkers dgn stall.bukan biar je terabur mcm tu.tak sistematic lansung.

iv. parking.they shud open more parking space dari biarkan 1 way keluar masuk which buat jalan congested dgn jam for 2 hours.bodoh polis.bukak la 2 least.bukan tak boleh.just lazy to do it

3-0 LA DER!

batu pahat version of G7 haha

this is the common thing shared between yuchiri G7(girl 7) and batu pahat G7 (guy 7) :

well here goes

yum (me) and kim shin young :
- i think im having the same trait with organizing.making jokes.
punish people.
- the centre of attraction since i always had the activity listed down for the group
-bad in sports.obviously
-still, never let them down
-keep talking and talking and talking.

wan & sunny :
-the brain of G7 of batu pahat
-less to talk but still talks
-always think far ahead
-serious one
-always laugh
-full of surprises

sapik & victoria :
-hmm i guess the same thing they had is they are addicted with what thing they hold on with.
-victoria goes crazy with plants
-tk goes crazy with computers (gadgets)

sani & goo hara
-always making stupid jokes
-good at sports
-excel in any activities

naim & narsha :
-narsha is old and i think she and naim had the same thought.always doing it the old way
-talk weirdly sometimes

mamat & juyeon :
-always kena blame
-always salah dengar + salah faham
-senang teruja

epi & yuri :
-easy going
-cool n happy type

daus & sori :
-sama mcm epi & yuri

alip & sunhwa :
-both are full of lies
-blank heads
-air heads
-dead weight

20/12/10 - 4.09 am

my next year wishlist :-

i'll list the impossible ones

1. i want a job in korea.
2. i want to get my own house.
3. i want my own car.
4. i want to marry hyomin.
5. i want 4 kids each seperated by 2 years time.
6. i want server/supercomp so i can host this and that
7. i wanna bring down corrupted TMNET down.
8. i wanna send my parents to haji and end my job as the son for now and cont back later when they passed away.
9. i want to get rid of my addictiveness towards internet/dota/fb
10. i wanna be somebody new.

there then half possible ones

1. getting a hug/kiss/present from hyomin
2. meeting her in hongcheon (yuchiri) during my trip to korea.
3. i want alienware 58" LCD for better gaming experience.
4. i want UNIFI installed in my room
5. i want to paint back my room
6. i want to befriend back Helwa and try to keep up with my mistakes. i just wanna be friends.
7. i'll get rid of my childish side and becoming more matured.
8. i will try to keep up with my promise with my friends.
9. will try to organize some events for JG (jyuupon gatana) lets EURO TRIP!
10. i hope all of this 9 things are achieved.

welfare 231 : fudamental of learning/becoming a hobo

8 simple rules if you are a hobo!

1. enter the house without permission. whatever food on the table without any sense of guilt. tv and sleep in the owner bed like there is no more tomorrow.
4.ask for whats in the refrigerator. as u pleased in the house.
6.get rid of the owner.
7.if possible, ask for the owner to pay for ur bills & expenses
8.the more the merrier ( do the maths urself)

haha. ingatkan tau semua tadi :p

the front pc was broken. mom did it.

thought that "u" could fix it.


no you cant.



to a man; self proclaimed genius.

you wont get recognized and respected just only by being smart

people in the society wont accept you for just being smart
lesson of life and how to live arent written in any book

practical is often useful rather then being theoretical
dont always brag, act high and mighty all the time.

realize yourself before you tell others their own weakness.
look at small you are.

being a smart brain doesnt mean anything.
money controls the brains such like you.

in school yeah you cudda prove to mom and dad that your better then us all.
well try your luck in university,
excel in spm/pmr doesnt guerentee anything
eventho you had the chance to learn in the best institute offered to you.

just then.
you didnt live in the time i live in
you didnt know what hell i've been through during my moment in school/uni
in fact i dont mind that your having a smart brain.i dont mind you getting straights A or whatever.

just this one thing.
do not.ever.act high and mighty.
since you dont have a lot of friends.
and dont know how cruel this earth is.

i am telling you little brother.


what will you do when you had homeless people mingling around in your house, and leeching everything that belongs to you?



im clean from dota for 16 days.

haha :)

1001 reason for me to hate muar.

5.14 am in the morning i was in the car driving heading back to batu pahat and i saw this ugly & terrible accident in seri menanti.somewhere in the middle of batu pahat and muar.

a lorry collided with proton gen2. killed both passenger. the 2nd person to arrive to the scene.
my knee shakin like hell.totally terrified. the driver eats the engine, the gen2 was torn into small pieces shattered on the road while the lorry was in the drain with the driver and co-driver flying out from the windshield like a superman.

it happens so fast.lucky im 2-3 minutes behind the accident.else i might end up like them.
organs everywhere.stayed up till the ambulance and police the whole process. cant even think of anything else after that.

guys. if u were driving in the not only in the morning.anytime when u drive,if ur feeling a little tired, or sleepy.stop the car.have a rest.cause 1 mili sec cudda cause u ur life.
please.hear me.

AFF Suzuki Cup

2-0 YAY
muka depan

one crazy idea

thinking that my vacation to korea is getting near..

and just now i was thinking..

whats the odds of getting job there..
and i just need to enroll properly into korean language school,
then start writing resumes

i just need to stay there for 3 months..
if i had no job

i will come back to malaysia..



haha :D

nak complain jugak

1.they all got new phone respectively.
2.they all got driver licence for free.

i never had the chance.
i work on my own to get it.

daddy, u really made me sad.


happy birthday yum :)

tido sepanjang hari.
tak tgk smm.
being alone.
bangun tgh malam.
ear infection.

oh well.but im happy :)

another dota season?

crap man..again with dota..i just thought about ending my career on dota..
but steven is back and now ask me bout joining his team

the ex lanc inc :

qayyumx "qayyumx" abdul razak
fai "inqhisa"
steven "StevenYong38" steven
ariff "crackerzx" syukri
zam "zeroart"
fauzi "BMDGHOST" bachtiar
sai "ryomo010"

these names are feared by some long time ago before i decided to disband it.

the -InS clan by steven current rooster :

steven "M|x^Miracle-|" yong
qayyum "M|x^Hyomin-|" abdul razak

as if i decided to play along side of him.

and we need 3 more decent player.i will take time thinking bout this.

KCR Lan Party II

KCR|9999 a/k/a KCR|Hyumin

listening to t-ara songs haha

i am a very serious player :p

celaka ada je yg nak interframe

told ya i am like MESSI in dota world.i start,they end it

MESSI part 2

tadaa.dota in :D


i feel my body isnt at it best condition.since march i've been eating crappy foods, lacking of sleep, lacking of rest.

not my fault tho. there was nothing on the fridge.and nothing was cooked too.
wasted money on the nearest mamak.
junking in junk foods.

series of endless nasik lemak,roti canai and so.
not a good quality of food i guess.


quitting dota after KCR lan party II

I regret alot of decisions of the past, I was highly pressured by the community, the expectations are enourmous, I can't always fulfil it, with my old age I couldn't deal well with it, so it affected both my gameplay, and also my actions outside the gameitself.

I know it sounds somewhat wimpy, but it's a high psychological pressure, when you play competitive games. many players are affected by it in different ways, I obviously couldn't deal with it, especially when I had a rocket start, getting recognized so fast in short time with my age, it was too much.

So this time. I will step down.


sebenarnya dah ngantuk nak tulis blog.

5.36 pagi

tapi nak jugak kutuk movie 2alam (transvers) ni

actually, cerita yg nak di sampaikan ni mmg best.mmg berunsurkan moral yg tinggi tapi aku rasa aku boleh bagi sebab kenapa movie ni boleh di kategorikan fail.

1.lembaga penapisan filem.filem mat salleh romen2 bogel2 boleh lepas.tapi filem melayu yg extreme sikit semua nak potong.lembaga perlukan new sets of rule.banyak filem yg kena potong dgn lembaga penapisan filem ni.

2.dr rozmey ni mungkin tak penah amik class broadcasting or berkawan dgn org2 yg selalu buat video pendek ke what ever.tambah ilmu di dada dr rozmey.

3.skrip.mcm kartun.mostly 80% filem melayu mengandungi skrip yg mcm kartun.kalau bab gengster bagi la.ayat semua mmg power.skrip nampak di buat2.skrip yg bodoh pon di letak.

ok now review aku lak :

1.flash back cerita ini patut di mulakan dengan ceritakan si adam tu belajar kat london.kawan dgn nyah sana..lepas tu flash back balik time asal..then tunjuk la dia bedah itu ini semua..kata jutawan just met 5,keluar la duit sikit upah company CGI yg smart2.then cara flash tu tiba2 dah scene lain.kalau scene ke scene kena ada FLOW.bukan main jump to SCENE.ada TRANSITION. bukan tiba2 keluar gambar then dubbing lagu.nak flash black 50 ratus kali pon takpa.

2.rasanya sex part tu boleh tiru cerita DECEPTION. camne si Ewan McGregor tgh fuck semua strangers dalam bilik.patut boleh compile adengan sex tu. jgn waste setiap frame dgn dialog bodoh dan scene2 bodoh.

3.penggunaan dan pembaziran BGM.perlu ke bubuh lagu ramli sarip tuk scene bunuh diri,ngadap ikan emas? 4 minit lebih scene bodoh tu.apa ni? buang masa? sama jugak dgn lagu amy search.another 4 minit wasted.

4.SFX yg tak kena.malas cite

5.adegan seram.cmon man.setakat mayat berat? baca MASTIKA lagi.selalunya mayat busuk.kubur berasap. u can do the math urself. kurang gila unsur2 ni.

cerita yg di buat tangkap muat.serius

walaupun aku ni tau kritik dan kutuk.tapi kalau di berikan modal dan peluang.
aku boleh come out dengan movie lagi best.

40 juta? skit sangat.

100 JUTA.

flow cerita kena tambah.bukan kosong camtu.kaki rogol punya dialog pon bodoh.mcm tgk 3 stooges.


strong heart

everyday i end up winning back ur matter what u did.

i can live on with ur mood swings.ur bad mood.ur period pain.ur stomachache and whatever condition ur feeling.

its just i dowanna make another mistake that i did not long time ago.yet im writing here but u wudnt know.this is just another note to myself. i wont let my ego take u away from me. just like how i lose my most precious person last march 2009.

i didnt tell u how hard it is that time.u didnt know how regret myself during that moment.for somebody like me,who had nothing.

and really i still regret my action until today.and that regret made me who am i today.

dont ask me why.dont ask me how.dont ask me when..

i am not gonna be able to hug u,
either hold ur hands,
or even having sweet conversation.

because i am still affected by my old wounds.

maaf kerana terlalu kasar dgn awak.
maaf sbb tak dapat nak layan geli-geli dgn manja awak.
maaf sbb saya suka buat kerja sendiri dari msg awak.
maaf sbb saya hanya pandai panggil awak dengan nama awak.
maaf sbb selalu elak dari keluar berdua.


so you think you can manipulate lives?

to those people who thinks that your current job/study is superior then others.

doctors - some of these people are damn cocky,they think only them saves people.but the truth is,they live by the books.and does what the book tells them to do.if the book never exist, what will they do.

engineers - these kind of people are cool.they are purely maths and logic builds.if the calculation fails they still can rely on logics.not much of a nuisance.still this type of people saves people life too in their design. ie : cars.buildings.

lawyers - these kind of people really get into everybody news.manipulate words,give deceiving facts, saying this and that which we cant or mostly dont have any idea about what is the constitution say,or human rights,or whatever law exist that we dont aware about.never get into argument with them, cause we will lose,but in their eyes only.yes they do also saves and ignore people life.

programmers (i am in this league) - we programmers also plays with human life.we designs programs.the most basic things in this world is the computers.tell me,who nowdays didnt work with computers and gadgets alike? ie : we programmers program the flight simulation,train,bullet train and many more, if the program fail to respond or it crashes? u do the maths urself.

and there are many more other careers are better then what ur having right now

and this is my raw observation.

and to all of my friends whos thinking they are a lot more better then anybody else in this world,saying ur job is better then mine and think more.

im sick and tired of people saying programmers are lame,lazy,tak pandai, and so. hello open ur eyes.with us, all of ur bullshit books,bullshit laws,bullshit calculation..are just nothing but a bullshit.

respect other people.


dah tak boleh tahan..siang malam walau tido walau jaga aku asik fikir pasal hyomin..tak kira..aku mesti jumpa dia..mesti nak peluk..mesti nak mintak autograf mesti nak buat video mesti nak mintak dia macam2..kalau jumpa nanti..tunggu la hyomin..2 bulan je lagi..kau pasti dalam genggaman..

hyomin as goldfinger model
drinking patbingsu in coffee bene
at incheon airport
as ban syun nyeo in gumiho
with specs
in her dorm
her cute pencil case
bo peep attire


i'll be less online and creating such havoc and controversial statement and also some academic statement since there is always somebody who think he is better then me.

ok lah.ur the best.bravo.
i'll gonna go and blind myself as i watch my fellow brethren falls..


i dont think that u'll keep it.

but i did see em and i see him too.

well thats was unexpected from you.

tell me where am i in ur heart and brain.
and please tell me i am between those nasty and wet wound and scars

hey u.yes u go away

i think somebody in my life has to walk away.its not that i hate u or what but there is a need of space for someone better in my life to walk in

and i think its you.

one fine line


my name is qayyum and i think i am not a normal human being.

1st of all.i can only sleep when the clock is past 3 am and i'll wake up in 7.30 am and straight working until 11 pm and then having me time until 3 am back.

and then i can consume food that is meant for 3 people.

and i am incredibly amazing in any kind of video games.try me im not kidding.
for example dota.normal people farm 100 creeps 1 300-400 in 50 mins.

oh and i forgot my family is kinda weird.everybody got their own and respective issue.

and thats all

fundamental of parenting and parenthood 331

artikel bangang dan emosi aku ini adalah dalam bahasa melayu.kalau aku tulis english nanti hyomin tak faham lak.haha.baiklah aku akan mula menulis dengan serius.

aku anak 2nd dalam family.lelaki sulung.nak di jadikan cerita,time aku umur 5-12 time ni la bapak aku layan aku macam putera raja.pegi sekolah dia hantar.balik sekolah dia amik.apa je kehendak aku dia bagi.

tapi bila aku start masuk sekolah menengah.bapak aku berubah.bapak aku mula fokus kepada dua org adik lelaki aku yg lain.tapi waktu tu aku tak mengerti.tak apalah.seterusnya waktu tingkatan 3 aku dah mula di layan seperti org asing dalam keluarga.

bapak aku selalu paksa aku belajar.kalau tak belajar kena belasah.kena pulak time tu rumah aku baru ada computer bodoh2 zaman 2002,keje aku bantai main game.pantang nampak aku sentuh computer,pasti aku kena belasah..padahal aku bukan lah mcm budak2 zaman sekarang..seawal darjah 6 dah merokok..dah pandai rempit..keluar malam semua..aku waktu tu budak skema..keje aku pegi skolah balik sekolah duduk rumah main game buat kerja sekolah..

bila PMR, aku score 7A 1B,bapak aku marah aku sbb BM aku teruk dapat B.dia marah aku gila2 sampai aku nangis.dia kondem aku bertalu2.bodoh kata dia aku ni.keje main game.badan gemuk.sejak itu aku mula terasa.bapak aku dah semakin jauh dengan diri aku.

sejak dari tu aku mula buat hal sendiri.mula2 main computer curi2.lepas tu aku mula duduk sendiri dalam bilik.tak keluar langsung pun tgk tv kat luar.kalau tgk pun bila bapak aku pegi surau tuk semayang magrib.or dia keluar pegi beli barang rumah dgn mak aku.time tu je aku tgk tv.kalau tak pantang aku bukak tv mesti kena.

"haaalah asyik tgk tv je bukan nak belajar"
"keje mau main game.buang masa"
"badan dah la gemuk"

ha ni la dia antara benda yg keluar dari mulut dia sejak saat itu dan aku mula rasa duduk rumah ni mcm mengarut.tak aman.tapi bapak aku tak penah tau.aku study kot.walaupun study tak semacam mana dia harapkan aku study 24 jam sehari.abah,org ni bukannya robot.

tapi nasib menyebelahi aku waktu tu.sekolah aku selalu jugak buat kelas petang untuk pelajar lemah.tapi aku gunakan peluang ni tuk tak balik rumah lepas sekolah.aku lepak cc dengan kawan2.belajar main game.counter strike,gunbound.dapat la jugak release stress.and at least aku tak isap rokok,jadi bohjan lepak summit baru pahat tu buang masa ntah hapa2 kacau anak dara org.lepas tu kena tangkap.nasib tau bah anak abah ni nerd.walaupun badan gemuk tapi suka main game.belajar tak lah bodoh 15 dalam class walaupun dalam class sains 2.tak macam anak bongsu abah.lokman.pandai.genius.upsr 5A, pmr pun 8A, ni nak spm pon mesti 10/11A punya.

menjelang aku tingkatan 5,aku dah tak cakap lagi dgn bapak aku.hanya aku dengar keluhan dia terhadap diri aku ni.dia tak penah sedar yg aku ni penat study,kadang2 stress.tapi takpa time tu aku tak berapa nak matang sangat.jadi aku teruskan dengan kegiatan aku pegi cc lepas habis sekolah.balik rumah petang puku; 6.30 lepas tu aku lepak bilik je dengar radio sambil selak2 notes.

bapak aku tak penah bagi aku moral support.yg dia tau marah2.kalau aku tak g tusen ke tak study ke,kalau aku tak berambus masuk bilik sure aku kena belasah.tak mcm bapak2 org lain,semua member2 time tu dapat motor,dapat lesen.ada yg advance dapat kete.bapak aku ni nak di cakap org senang takla senang sangat.tapi boleh la afford kalau nak belikan aku moto/kete waktu tu.and bapak aku tak penah reward aku apa-apa pun kalau aku excel dalam skolah ke apa.

bila spm, result aku tak lah bright mana.nak cakap teruk tu tak.lepas la apply uni mana.time ni lagi teruk aku kena.bertalu2 sampaikan rasa duduk rumah ni dah mcm haram jadah.aku rebel time ni.aku keje parttime kat cybercafe member aku.dapat la larikan diri dari tgk muka bapak aku yg hampa dengan aku yg gemuk lagi memalukan dirinya ini.

then setelah beberapa bulan aku dapat tawaran uni.tak mcm org lain.aku pegi register masuk uni seorang diri.tanpa lain datang dgn family,kalau boleh seluruh keluarga nak turun termasuk atuk nenek.aku tak.seawal 17 aku turun kl,cari jalan sendiri pegi masuk uni.takda sapa hantar.takda sapa jenguk aku dalam bilik.time balik cuti sem pun sama.aku sendirian.merantau balik naik bas.

time dalam uni,aku rasa dalam satu sem tu ada la satu call dari family aku.mak aku.tu pon tanya pasal aku dah dapat scholar ke blum sbb dia nak pinjam sikit.tak pernah aku di ajukan soalan seperti :

"kau dah makan yum?"
"sihat ke tak?"
"macam mana study?"
"kena buli tak kat sana?"
"ada jumpa sedara mara tak?"
"duit cukup tak?"
"tak rindu kat rumah ke?"

bila balik rumah cuti sem, lepas exam,slip result sampai rumah.yang kedengaran hanyalah caci maki dan keji hinaan sbb aku tak dean list.tapi takpe.aku ni dah biasa kot mcm tu.hati aku kering.keras.aku tabah.kuat pun ye.

sampaila aku convo/grad.baru bapak aku muncul tuk jenguk aku kat uni.tu pon dia bebel2.sbb kena heret dgn mak aku datang.dia bising susah dapat parking la.panas la.lama tunggu la.lepas tu amik gambar family.aku nampak bapak aku nangis.lepas tu peluk aku.

ketika itu otak aku tak benti berfikir..

"kenapa kau peluk aku,kenapa kau nangis.setelah sekian lama kau buat hidup aku tersiksa,kau marah aku sana sini,kau tak penah nak bercakap dengan aku macam bapak dengan anak yg normal,kenapa hari ni baru kau nak tunjuk semua,aku tak harap pun kau datang convo aku,pun tak harap kau peluk aku mcm ni.."

kalau dia dengan adik2 aku yg lain boleh je berkomunikasi mcm org lain yg normal.tapi dengan aku tak.sekali tu jela time convo dia jadi normal dengan aku.tapi aku yg rasa tak normal.pada firsat aku,bapak aku dah gila. bila aku balik rumah.bapak aku start balik dengan persepsi lama dia pada aku.

aku duduk rumah kata dia aku ni membazir.tak sumbang apa2.tak lepas dari mulut dia dengan hinaan dia malu ajak aku keluar minum dgn kenalkan kat kawan2 dia sbb aku gemuk.

tujuan aku tulis benda ni bukan apa.aku takut perasaan seorang anak ini akan hilang.atuk aku baru meninggal 3 minggu lepas.atuk aku dengan anak dia yg ke 5 pun ada konflik jugak.sampai anak dia yg number 5 tu bawa diri pegi sabah serawak dgn brunei dekat 30 tahun lebih.sampaikan atuk aku meninggal pun dia datang 2 hari lepas tu.tak datang tahlil langsung.datang semata2 melawat org lain.kubur pun dia jenguk dari jauh.

aku sedar perkara ini.aku taknak jadi mcm tu.aku taknak membenci bapak aku sendiri.aku taknak bila dia dah tua,aku di belenggu perasaan dendam terhadap apa yg dia dah buat dgn childhood aku.aku nak dia acknowledge aku sebagai anak dia.aku nak dia terima aku sebagai anak dia.dan boleh bercakap dengan normal.aku boleh faham perasaan dia.tapi kenapa dia tak pernah cuba untuk faham perasaan aku.

abah,org dah jadi org yang abah nak.dah graduate,keje pun ada.tapi kenapa abah tak penah nak cuba tuk berbaik dgn org bukan tak nak,dah penah cuba,tapi abah tak penah nak faham.

sampai bila nak macam ni..
dan di hati kecil aku berharap.

agar abah aku or sapa2 dalam family aku dapat baca apa yg aku tulis ni.dan mengerti,perasaan aku ni.walaupun abah tak penah reward aku pape.abah tak penah puji aku apa2.walaupun abah selalu lukakan hati aku.aku nak abah tau.aku tak benci abah.


korean anatomy 104

peristiwa ini berlaku sebulan lepas.aku pegi karoke dengan wan n mat.3 jam lamanya.parking moto aku belakang tempat karoke tu.

selalu aku parking situ.selama2 2-3 taun ni rasanya kawasan tu ok.selamat.ada guard semua.tapi apa boleh buat,org kata, malang tak berbau.

nak di jadikan cerita, aku baru beli helmet cap KHI.lawa punya.kale putih.di beli kira-kira 3 minggu dari tarikh kejadian.maklumla aku ni kan peminat T-ara.lalu aku design la helmet aku tu.letak gambar hyomin kat situ.hantar pegi customized siap airbrush.


brader airbrush tu tanya :

"awek lu ke ni der?"

lalu aku jawab..

"lebih kurang la der.."

"comel awek lu ni der..biar betul der.." katanya...

sambil gelak sinis aku berkata "ye la der..kalau tak kenapa la aku nak abadikan lukisan dia kat helmet ni.."

lalu brader tu kata ok sambil meneruskan perbualan kurang matang dan serius di petang itu..
lepas 2 hari siap la helmet aku..

*hari kejadian*
lepas karoke tu balik la.tiba2 aku notice..kemak mana helmet aku ni..cari2 sekeliling tak jumpa.ahh sudah..kemak sungguh..

lalu mamat dan wan tertawa di dalam keadaan sinis dan kesian.haha..apa nak buat..benda dah jadi..

lalu aku pulang ke rumah tanpa helmet malam itu..dengan hati yg panas serta berperasaan seperti ingin membunuh seluruh penduduk kampung seperti yg di lakukan Uchiha Itachi...

p/s : moral of the story,korang semua jangan kenalkan dunia dengan hal ehwal K-Pop idol..aku tak sanggup hyomin aku di culik org..lebih2 lagi mat rempit keji durjana sampah masyarakat..

junk 1

no matter how hard we try to keep other things,or people,from things that hurts them a lot.

people are people.and they are addicted to pain.

- yum,
-2.55 am.

ahnyeong jumuseyo.


there is a line between proper and not proper.

and simply do not cross the line.

something or anything will happen either u like it or not.

break 314

i seems to lost my touch in dota.since friday i've been playing like shit.

i didnt even score 20 creep in the 1st 15 minutes.

well this is it.taking a short break from dota.
focusing more on casual games.

and im really deciding either im going for the operation or not.hearing it seems not that serious.i still had time.

oh yeah and im losing some eyesight.maybe i need spectacles.watching Man City vs Arsenal on the big screen i cant see eyesight really deteriorated. taking my break here.
till then KCR|9999 and qayyumx is currently on holiday.


Dead Rising 2 & Starcraft II

i've finish playing this 2 games.been viewing and reviewing over and over this 2 games before it was published.

my score for this 2 game is 10 out 10.perfect score.lets not talk about graphics.its damn superb.

gameplay 10/10
story 10/10
challenge 10/10
mission 10/10
ending 10/10

starcraft 2 is about RTS (real time strategy).
the story begins when Jim Raynor,a rebel dommican marine gone rouge after a fellow ghost operative and himself got betrayed by Arctus Mengsk during last mission to defeat an alien race Zerg. Sarrah Kerringan was abandon during the last mission (starcraft I) and captured by the alien and then turned in to Queen Of Blades.In starcraft II, Jim Raynor and his partner Tychus Findlay travel through the galaxy finding an old prophecy, the Xel-Naga prophecy and artifact to restore the balance between the terrans, protoss and zerg and save Queen Of Blades with the help of an old protoss named Zeratul, the last survivor of the protoss Dark Templar.

dead rising 2 is about Chuck Greene, the survivor from mass zombie outbreak 3 years go is trying to live a new life with his daughter, Katey. Chuck is an ex-motocross champion who now living as the Arena Kill It Or Leave It (zombie gladiator) player.

During this time, another zombie outbreak occurs and Chuck has to find who is behind this outbreak and save civilians before they getting rescue and evac from the safe house.During his investigation, Chuck will get help from various people he saved and there is a lot of new weapon and system introduced in this game.

gamers out there,


friday - sunday

my last grandfather passed away on friday night.while i was hanging out with my kinda sat.but not too sad,because i manage to do something before he goes.look after him in hospital.feed him food..guess it was his time to go right?

its my 2nd time attending and doing funeral.from bathing his body,but not "kapan-kan".and my dad and uncle carry his body before he got buried.and i watch the whole process.still saddening.but what to do right? our time will come sooner or later.

last nite it was korean pop night in singapore held in sistic hall.i had tickets from eliza.but i dont know how to express my feeling.yes i am sad because of the death and also im sad because i cant be there in singapore watching concert.yes i know family matters 1st,but i dont know how to express this sad of because of both thing.

2 times already i miss the chance right between my eye.1stly on april.i had to cancel my trip to korea.and then was devastating u know..very..



i had appointment today at the hospital

going to check on my throat again today

am i really going to lose my voice?

god knows..


what is actually 9999,some people ask me.

demam 9999,
lapar 9999,

kat sini chinese always refers as 9 ni as many.

ex : chinese word : sap 9 - meaning is tak guna.the 9 is used to express the adjective of totally rubbish.

so when i said i am hungry 9999 meaning i am very hungry.

and to add some,

9999 refers to me as i am the barer of the name KCR|9999 in dota arena.when there is 9999 there is me.

the name synonym to the gameplay i do,

i farm 9999,
i deny 9999,
i kill 9999,
hunt 9999,
lanc 9999,
win 9999,
gank 9999,
pro 9999,

that is where KCR|9999 is born.

hope this absurdity of the explanation will get into ur heads.


trying to view it from another point

i watch a movie entitled buried.

an innocent american kena tanam dengan iraqi people due to he is a AMERICAN.
seeing from the AMERICAN point of view, dia kena mcm tu sbb dia AMERICAN.

its not fucking fair.and eventho dia kapir pun,dia tak deserve mcm tu unless dia buat something.
and its a shame for muslim people to do that.our prophet tak ajar siksa org camtu.our religion tak ajar kita buat mcm tu.

ah im lost

till when ur gonna be childish?

case 1 : this is from fromspring

is .chain666 a mhker? confirm.that question answers also for danish (feyyo)and all of the group of theirs in room 45. hahaha.yum bodoh ae..

yg dah lepas tu lepas la.apa lagi kau nak? ajak draft takut ajak jumpa takut.apasal tak boleh terima? <---- baca ni danish.aku dah lupakan.tatau la kau ke abg kau ke masih takleh terima.aku rasa abg kau.pape pun goodluck spm.aku dah takde rase pape dah dgn korang.terpulang ah.umur 2X tapi otak mcm 2-3 taun.sudah la cakap kat dia takde untungnya gaduh.suka hati ah <---- baca la

case 2 : my opinion from my fb's status

whats the big deal,if u cant understand smart jokes, sarcastically and cynical with double meaning sentence, please do not try to mock me. instead of picking fights with me,why dont u save the trouble by reading the newspaper. and talk behave on the facts.

really im not being rude or whatever but i think u guys from UiTM are really in low standards in terms of seeing marriage when i say about how ready you are from the marriage, i was not talking about money, that includes everything. from parenting issues, money, everything.
thus, im not into the fights with you. im not the same lvl of you.i didnt become somebody important in UNITEN.not the old yum u know.i am new.i am somebody

im not blind to see that u guys are trying to make ashame out of me.but that is not they way i deal with u guys.

case 3 : this one is very f-ing losing my bestfriend for oversome childish reason or whatever reason it is.

maybe im losing my best friend.or maybe im just feelin like it.

simply put,im not sad.

u were my best friend since childhood man.
apa pun kita tak penah tak buat skali.
i think its time to grow up.
we arent suppose to act that way nemore right?

ur elite,
im not.
im just a goofy dude,
who likes to play game and enjoy my own time,
lay low,
watchin gay movie..

ntah tatau la maybe aku terasa sendiri?
or maybe we arent good nemore like we used to be?

i wud like to find out about this.
if u wanna talk,im there bro,

i never turn my back on u and u always know that.
peace yo.


im hurt on this date since 10.10.08

the wound heals, but the pain and scars still live within me.

im hurt, but nobody know,
im hurt, but i dont know how can i disperse this pain.

i really need to get real partner,
the one that i can meet everyday.

the one that i can tell this and that.
the one who understands my pain.

the one who will swallow it all with me.
the one who will walk this path of life with me.





all the memories of hate and the lies,
dont you know we'll pay the price,
all the hopes and dreams will survive,
reunite we got to keep our faith alive


playing video games for fun and professionally is 2 different thing.

im tired of doing all the job alone.its called a clan,but it seldom function as a clan.

-please buy courier if u goes random.
-and do play wards and counter enemy wards.

-and report each time enemy missing.
-and please.not to go for ranks or kills.

please let me do the farming since i am the best farmer.if u wanna do farmer,so then let u do it.but dont when it comes to i supporting and u cant finish the job.

u'll know what will happen.

save me part (i dont know exactly dah berapa part)

okay today is the nastiest, super bad-ass, ugliest fight i had with eliza.

and today the word that i heard from her is :

"get a real job"

"get out from the home and stay kl"

"enough with dota"

"be a guy not a teenager"

"where am i when she need me"

actually, when i do some thinking bout this.i laugh.

yeah,where the hell that i've been when she need me around.oh forgot i was on the bus to KL midnite time,walk my ass from nowhere to HKL.and go back to batu pahat on the same day and straight not 2 times.not 3.not 5 but its 15 times.

it was 15 times and most of the time u were sleeping.and only natalie there.she knows.unless she did keep it down.

and again, get a real job? as u know im undersome kind of scholar ship. would you pay for me scholarship? around 70k + 5k plus with interest? would you?

and next is come and work in kl? first of all get me a job in KL.and then find me a rental house.and get me a car,or bike at least.

enough with dota and teenager? what? i shud do make-up now? or become a photographer? play barbie-doll with you?

and it doesnt end well tonight.its ugly.i deleted most of the text.still the aura is deep.

yeah maybe ur right.

i am just another boy.

im gonna have my rest day

just go if u wanna go.i'll be fine myself.ur rich.ur a lawyer.ur way too matured for me.ur 26,u had ur own job.u had ur home.u had career.u wont meet my friend.u wont eat at mamak stall with me cause it disgust u right?

this is what im gonna say :



after 22 years of living i just did remember this

when i was 5 or 6, my dad bring me to the monster truck show in kelantan.

and he did watch the cinema with was jurassic park

dad, im asking u as a son..

lets talk.

and sought things out..

p/s : how i wish u could read this..em..

walk the talk

people.they more talk-driven.
instead of just plain talk,

how about you walk the talk.

they just know to say

"oh thats not the right thing to do"
"oh pity you"
"thats not fair"

tell me, what do you guys fighting for?

does being normal makes you feel that you're getting all the rights for yourself?

until you open your eyes, that is the moment the "chain of stupidness" and "protection bubbles" malfunctioning.


i never knew

i never knew that it was so harsh on my body.

em.if im going to lose my voice forever.

so then be it.

i've nothing to regret since i've talk too much.


do you what it takes?

haha i did.and i pass.
this is how i spend my weekend alone in the mall.

im fine being alone tho.

mc donald.

today i didnt eat anything.since i woke up at 4. and its a public holiday.and then i was stuck at home with no always its has been raining these 2-3 days back. and i was so fuckin hungry.

for this past week. like usual there is nothing to eat since my mom doesnt cook anything at all. and since i had no method of getting out from the house i spend my time watching korean dramas. until around 3 am just now i went to mc donald to have some meal.

alone. in the wilderness of the night ahaha.

yeah and i saw this chinese family. right there infront of me. the family is having mc donald in the midst of the sunday morning. and the "harmony" aura from the chinese family getting into my "alone" aura.

and there i stood.and my mind went out..searching for a memory..

and i ask myself a question.

"when is the last time my family had mc donald together?"

i try to dig in. trying to remember every fast food that dad or mom has bought for me and for the family. i found nothing. there hasnt any moment i could remember. i was sure there was none. right.

i could not finish this writings right now. i dont know why.


info for everybody

uterus is the core of justice in this world.

u cant stop uterus from rulling you since you were a baby and until the day you will die.


fill in the form

i want an opposite gender for me as a good friend which consist :

-a friend that i could express anything
-a friend that willing to share anything
-a friend that would go out with me and have lunch
-a friend that would go out and watch a movie with me
-a friend that travel to where i travel
-a friendship that never cross the borderline the beyond friend limit
-a person who can talk freely/informally : addressing, calling names,talk about anything without having any feeling in it.

if you got what it takes just to become my friend.please fill in the form/send up ur resume in the comment box below.

how to?

i wanna dump somebody.

help me with the procedure?

its the 1st time for me.

and yes.

i am single.

and moving on with 3 broken relationship

and now

atau dengan bahasa kasarnya " hati gua ni meronta sakit sbb awek-awek gua tak penah nak paham perasaan gua"

"sbb mereka tak paham perasaan gua sbb diorang ni tak penah rasa susah dalam hidup.penah ada parents yg tak function mcm parents?"

kalau gua senyap gua tak layan lu, kalau gua layan nnt gua maki lu, lu tak boleh biar gua relax ke satu hari?

mesti ke 24 jam msg? mesti ke 24 jam nak facebook.

gua ada keje gua la nak buat. apa lu takde life ke? lain la kalau gua dah jadi laki lu.

relax la bai,jangan gopoh.

hati gua ni dah hancur ntah berapa juta kali mcm lagu 150 juta kali tu.sakai punya lagu.
apa babi ni?

my hari raya

as usual,the night before raya.everybody was busy with house chores and etc2.

while im busy working.

but there is one thing i want to comment about.

"if you are too lazy to clean your own house,your own mess and your own fault,next time :

a) please do not make the house dirty and messy
b) please hire a maid to do the chores
c) please do not use the "mouth" while you're doing the chores and

there is always the final choice which is ;

d) do not clean at all.leave it to the state it is.and yes.definitely do not celebrate raya.

mom, im tired.and i know so do you. but there is 3 person in the house that didnt work up to late times like me.

there's yaya. there's celi.and lokman too.
but dont u think it is not fair just to yell out your anger on me? im just saying "is there any food left for me", and gives you the right to go WTF on me mom?

thats not fair.really.
im hurt.

although you didnt buy me new clothing,either new sandals, or new songkok.i dont mind mom.
i dont mind. i just need the "feeling" to celebrate raya with my own family peacefully.without yelling and so.

im a bit sad.but really i dont mind.enough just to see my brothers and sister wear new things.
then there is dad.

can you believe it, he almost didnt talk to me since last march for no reason. actually it started long time before.since before my SPM days.maybe the exact time is around PMR. i dont really know what is his problem is. but yeah. it saddens me that i couldnt have a NORMAL chat with my own old man. my own dad. even having meals together. dinner? lunch? yeah.

in addition, to my sadness. he can normally talk to my two younger brothers. like normal people. like a dad. but not with me. during my college time also. you both never ask, ever ask about my well-being. simple questions like have you eaten son, we'll come to visit you, hows your study.
still i dont mind. im strong mom. im strong dad.

but this ramadhan really, really crossed my heart and shattered it. im having my meal alone in the room. sometimes alone in the office. what? am i do not exist in front of you eh dad? im a big disgrace for you?

there really a bunch of things that i wanna said to you.since my school era. you never ever give me anything if i do well in school, or score number 1, or join any competition. all you do is keep on scolding me. STUDY, STUDY, STUDY and whack here and there. holiday trip? dont ask. buy me handphone? no and NONE. gadgets? eternally NONE.

thats why this year's RAYA, i dont feel like raya.really im tired with all of these. and mom. i just sleep that day on 4 am. and you wake me up hellishly at 7 am with your yellings. and telling things like " macam ni kau tak payah raya"

duh.i know its raya.and i know my responsibility getting up and get ready. but dont you think that is too much. you didnt prepared anything for me yet you still saying like that. mom, i had a heart too. im tired too. its not all about you in the house. everybody is doing their jobs in this house and the only reason you acted like that is because you didnt see it. you didnt see it because you yourself did not want to see it happening . all you complain is about only you working, only you tired.

cmon mom, you work from 8 am to 11 am. and comming home 12 pm. and you keep complaining tired tired tired. im working long hours. yeah i know you're old. but there is always people older and doing harder work than you. dont you think you're overated? and a little bit selfish to others.

and for all of these reasons, i acted like that during the 1st day of raya. i keep on sleeping till i realized that you guys gone and yet comeback yesterday. still im kinda sad. and im trying to get my raya happiness with my buddies. i only obtain happiness of being a family with them. but not with you guys.

i've been holding this questions and hatred feeling for a long long time. and now i could not sleep. its been 2 hours since i try to sleep and i keep on looping on this topic in my mind for hours and hours.

i wanna sleep.i wanna be normal. i dont want anything from you guys. no not money. no not love. i just want you guys to acknowledge me as your child. be proud with me for what i've done. i know i've been wasting money. but i did what you guys want. i did enter university. i did get my degree. what else do you want? a big house? expensive cars? a lot of money?

if this continues to go on. i might not be able to mend my heart anymore. its been corrupted with you guys lack of parenting issues within your children. im sad you guys. cant you guys see in my eyes. or im just a professional actor. i try to open my mouth. but did you guys ever gave me any chance to do so?

im not being selfish. im just saying my feelings. please read 1st before you guys decide to label me as what. i dont mind.

and im writing this for myself too. i dont ever want to be like you guys. i wanna be an awesome dad.and awesome grandad.and super awesome grand grand dad.

nobody wanted to listen to me.


selamat hari raya

maybe im too late to wish..or maybe im not too late to with to you guys..

selamat hari raya aidilfitri.
maaf zahir dan batin.

p/s : its been a while since i jolt down here in the blog due to my tight sorry.

sharing thoughts

watch this

and ask question.

what's going on :)

im here to talk

maybe im not a politician.maybe im not a good citizen.and maybe.i am not a hero for my own race.

malays? chinese? indians? bumiputra?

racist everywhere.yeah.this thing will not,will be not,wont be,like forever,and ever.and ever settled.

siti inshah insults the chinese people,namewee insults too.cant u see the chains of hatred here?

to namewee, in ur video clip "nah".u says that "sapa cakap orang melayu kena puasa"
and i wud like to say "why buddha kena makan oren"

do u ever learn about islam? no.
do i know why buddha likes oranges? no i dont.

is this u call step up and show ur opinion? no i dont think so.

to siti inshah, does ur saing reflects urself as a teacher? no i dont fucking DO.
and i wud like to say "ur fucking old to become a principle"

is this how u treat people? students mainly?

government needs to do something about this.really.namewee has been forgiven once.but this? before this he did insult tnb.tu la pandai sangat belajar kat taiwan.anything about engineering pun tak tau.pandai blame je.bijak.

ISA needs to be enforced.biar org nak kata apa.there is a need that one SOLID POWER in malaysia to be matter what race,what rank,what kind of people are u.and this SOLID POWER DOESNT NEED to be affected by anything or anyone.

im so fucking sick living in malaysia.most malays i meet doesnt ever feel grateful with what they been having for so long time.just watch uitm.see what they have become.

i myself competing since my high school.with all of the chinese indians.and made several good bonds with them.better then the people i knew in uitm.i feel ashamed sometimes.why are they acting like this.

so up ur eyes.please.
and the chinese, i dont think that u guys alone made malaysia is malaysia today.go learn some history 1st.insult the race,its okay,when it comes to religion.thats not ok.thats globally insulting.

p/s : well,malaysian shud be lucky.cause im not one of the minister here.and if ..i got selected..these scenarios will change..

several ways to die trying

went to kl last friday with wan n mamat.haha actually went there to pick sani up.since dia taknak balik, so jadinya pegi tangan kosong,balik tangan kosong.

went to ikano for croc warehouse sale.mamat says they sell original and pirated me? i dont care kot.footware,dresses and style isnt my all okay with what im fine.

watch step up 3 in cineplex.i sleep half way due to extreme tiredness since i've been working and didnt have proper sleep.after that went to rasta ttdi for berbuka puasa.i've lost all my might after that.hearing sani wanna buy us karoke,so we drove to mid valley.but then bila pergi mid valley dia cakap suruh pegi mines pulak..celaka hahah.

so we went to mines.then dia sampai.instead of he paying,he ask us for rm 10.hahah what??? celaka camni dia buat.i didnt heal voice.teruk.we sing about for 2 hours.then we straight go hack to cyberjaya.hantar kawan dia balik.

ohh wait before pegi cyber we lepak @ andalus for some shisha.i met my fellow KCR the clan lord amin.

and so the picture goes down here.

and now.i just wake up from a deep sleep since 9.30 pm.i feel fresh.i need to stop being abnormal.i will repair this.i will.


paeh,milo & amin

black,arip & fai

Malaysian Version of Aidilfitri

There’s one thing unique about Malaysians: we’re able to aggravate everything & anything. We tend to re-culture ourselves with a our own version of religion/cult, politics, tradition, etc. This sort of evolution & progress, if I may, shows how creative we Malaysians really are.

Let’s look at Hari Raya Aidilfitri & how we Malaysian Muslims exaggerate & aggravate the festive.

Aidilfitri is like the winning race day, the celebration day for us Muslims after one month of fasting. We fast for a reason: to understand the feelings of desperation & of the poor. If we survive this ordeal, we should be able to make our conclusion that there are people out there who suffer & go thru life worse than us. With this in mind, we should be thankful with what we have.

But sadly, that’s not the case for some Malaysian Muslims.

I’m ashamed to see that there’s a big number Malaysian Muslims who does not take the month of Ramadhan seriously. They skipped a day of fast, or worse they totally skipped the whole 30 days. I’m not perfect either, there were days that I skipped fasting when I start to feel really really desperate, whether I was too thirsty or too hungry. When I start to indulged myself, the feeling of guilt comes by in a flash & I start to wonder if this was the right thing to do (not fasting, i mean). Being a moderate & flexible religion, in Islam, if you skipped a day, there are ways for you to pay back that debt you have with God. And it is between you & God.

Then comes Aidilfitri, which falls on the 1st day of Syawal. We celebrate the success of our test. We celebrate the meaning of life. We celebrate the meaning of togetherness. There are certain activities, so to speak, in the celebration of Aidilfitri which doesn’t exists in the core of Islam. But being Malaysians, we just do whatever we like… (sing to tune of T.I)

  1. Duit raya. The act of giving duit raya doesn’t really exist in Islam at the core. This act was copied from another celebration, Chinese New Year. Yes, we Muslims shouldbersedekah, I agree. But as usual, we Malaysians put that concept one up to another level. Now, it has become an act to train our children to be beggars, golddiggers & worst of all, to love greed. Kids nowadays are not thankful for the gift of duit raya, theydemand for it.
  2. Baju raya. In Islam, it is a sunnah (an option for a good cause) for us to wear beautiful & new clothes on the 1st day of Syawal. It’s a sunnah in Islam, but a culture in Malaysia. I’d like to call it the Raya Fashion Show. Glitter here, bling bling there. Most of us forget that one of the teachings of Ramadhan is for us to know how to be frugal. But no, not for us Malaysians. It’s like a one big Malaysian Top Raya Model competition. And to make it worse, we overspend.
  3. Bulan raya. Malaysians celebrates Aidilfitri for a month. In truth, Aidilfitri is meant to be celebrated on the 1st day of Syawal only. But we celebrate it for a month. Wow. Seriously wow. Of course, the month of Syawal lasts for 30 days & by our Malaysian way of logic thinking, Aidilfitri is automatically celebrated for 30 days. Truthfully, this is one hype I really despise as this festive has been commercialised to the extend that we Malaysians accept that is the way to celebrate Hari Raya.

There are lot of weird things that doesn’t exist in Islam regarding celebration of Aidilfitri, but these are the top 3 that I think requires a lot of re-thinking in our part as Malaysian Muslims. Think about changing ourselves first before you start thinking to change other people.

Don’t believe the hype.

kudos/courtesy to : mr buyot