pre-top 10 bullshit.

2015 ended a week ago. i have been thinking about writing or make a list consist of the top 10 about things ; movies, musics, places to visit, experience, foods, etcs. right now i am currently gathering infos and doing recaps from last year and will write about it anytime soon.

to conclude, my 2015 was fair enough. theres a few things that i manage to get it done, and few more carry foward lah ke tahun ini.a year wiser from the old me. less marah-marah. less give any damn orang nak cakap apa. made new friends. sampai ke tempat yg aku tak pernah sampai. and i manage to climb kaki gunung rinjani naik water fall dia which i didnt think i could but yeah i could and still boleh hahah.

financially balanced/stable sejak takde komitment berpasangan. tapi kesal dgn kecewa sbb aku rasa tahun 2015 ni aku balik rumah adalah yg paling sikit. raya, makcik meninggal, kenduri apa semua langsung takde balik. raya haji pon tak balik. sigh.

work - makin lama makin gila. they decided that they want to run business 365 hari without stopping including cuti ke weekend ke which is yeah crazy. and yet belom ada pairing partner/successor yg actually willing and capable enuf to replace my place here. selagi ada daya, selagi boleh, aku layankan je. almost 6 tahun buat kerja ni. 6 tahun.

relationship - i havent date anybody seriously. but i befriended a lot of people. biasalah dalam ramai2 tu banyak end up jadi kawan. taknak pun dengar masalah kehidupan masing2 but entahlah. the 1st rule of nak cari makwe is jangan dengar masalah dia. kita nak dia jadi makwe kita bukan nak jadi penasihat dia tempat dia datang n pergi lepas luah masalah no no. that is wrong.

currently (last 2 months of 2015 till now) i am seeing somebody. i dont know what is going on between us and i can certainly say that theres nothing happening or nothing special. for now we're just enjoying each other punya company. berteman. somebody to talk to. and bila aku reflek balik what happen all these time is i waited too long to just to say that i like em. and eventually sendiri yg rugi. but itu semua bersebab.

and dgn benda yg lepas2 lagi. i guess what jerol said about me was right. i am afraid of letting people in. i have trouble letting people in because of what happen before. sure, mmg enjoy di accompany orang tapi when things are getting hot apa semua, i bailed out. i did not response. i barely say anything. how can u answer "i think i like you" dengan "thank you". gad this is so hard for the time being. im being selfish. and childish atm.

fuh. real betul menulis. sebenarnya banyak je lagi benda nak di tulis tapi sejak aku develop habit tulis n kendian post ni, aku rasa aku makin malas nak post benda2 yg dah ada dalam drafts. ada lagi ke orang tryhard berblog ni zaman ni weh? rasa dah tak ramai. ramai yg dah beralih ke micro blogging mcm twitter contohnya.

eh dahlah. nanti baru tulis lagi.

JA!

what the hell is wrong in this world.

i found one fb status from sukan star regarding theres this one fella lapar, 3 hari tak makan. and he curi duit tabung masjid or whateverlah and leave a note to justify his actions.

so. to think that hes that desperate sampai kena mencuri ni sebenarnya overpity je kat mamat ni. kalau nak cakap isu susah, tak habis. aku faham erti susah.aku pernah je tinggal rm 10 dalam kocek and kena fikir nak makan ke nak isi minyak. kalau aku makan, esok aku tak pergi kerja kalau takde minyak, kalau aku isi minyak aku kebuloq tak makan.

tapi kita jangan approach isu ni mcm tu. kita fikir dari segi etika. kau sanggup mencuri ke dari meminta? malu sangat ke kalau pegi kedai makan, cakap elok2 dgn tauke kedai tu yg kita dah tak makan 3 hari, takde duit. nanti ada duit ganti balik, kedai tu tak lari kemana, kita pun tak lari kemana kat situ. tapi dia sanggup curi duit masjid n letak note. ini yang aku tak faham. kau sanggup mencuri duit surau, tapi tak sanggup nak tebalkan muka pegi minta makan.

jgn cakap aku tak pernah rasa susah, jgn cakap aku tak pernah berebut makanan dgn adik beradik aku ke kawan2. jgn pernah cakap aku tak pernah rasa susah dan terdesak. semua orang pernah rasa. tapi cara dia curi duit tabung masjid, lepas tu cara orang2 kita simpati dengan dia lepas tu kaitkan semua dgn socio-eco-politik ni dah keterlaluan. bodoh sangat.

itulah dia zaman sekarang ni. the age of convergence. the age modernization, yet we all so gooddamn stupid. we tend to make it viral before we found solutions. we are no longer interested in being civilized anymore. the people awards society worst and turn them in to celebrities while making fun of the weak people. this isnt the world that i know anymore.

technologies turns us lazy, stupid, senseless and leave us vulnerable. new things, new discovery and new challenges. and if we keep on going like this, i dont think that we deserve to live anymore in this earth.

towards the end of the year.

december is my fav month of the year. mainly its because yeah obviously its the end of the year. and i always feel like celebrating xmas. hahah. and yeah bcoz hey its my birthday! actually, alot of things happened in nov/dec, thats the reason why. for example, 4th dec. reminds me of someone. 23/25/27/30 nov. reminds me of people who i care the most. 

anyway, this is what actually happened in december/recently if you people are wondering what and where i've been doing :

somehow i got myself involved again in local e-sports scene. Malaysian Cyber Game as contractor/vendor. because its sponsored by TM and bla bla bla and i dont want the same thing happened in Major All Stars last march to happened all over again. overall it was a successful event. people from twt_dota is covering the event, team Secret datang, bla bla bla. tapi the worst part is i cant be there bcoz kena stationed tempat lain during the event. Selangor vs Kedah final piala malaysia smh ~_~

oh oh daniel bryan came, and a good friend of mine manage to hook me up with this dude in person. i was like whoa this is dream comes true!!!! YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES! #YESMOVEMENT. perfect birthday gift haha. and thanks to butang for teman-ing to see this guy eventho u have no idea who is this dude is all about. thanks for the treat too :D

powerrrrrrr

andd special thanks to rina for the birthday day treat and day out. hahah nangis tgk movie good dinosaur. recommended movie partner and would rate her 10/10. hihi

few more days before december ends. what have you done lately?

qayyum's weekly mixtape 3

hi, here goes the 3rd qayyum's weekly mixtape :

1. the top box - the letter

2. shawn mendes - stitches

3. sheppard - geroni

4. bob schneider - big blue sea

ja!

a thing or two about mainstreamed things

i have this thing or kind of feeling regarding things. how do i put this. ya know. today's trend. be it tv shows, musics, technology, name it.

last time i stop watching the walking dead because it became too extreme, and i stop watching n playing video games because it was too mainstream too. some punks came out of nowhere and start this hype, stupid hype actually and hes not the real thing. acah2 cas2 poyo and makes me wanna puke.

so i stop doing cool things or stop watching or listen to mainstreamed things because to me, it has lost its unique-ness and dah tak exclusive anymore.

hah!

thank god i watched breaking bad long ago before it was mainstream these days.

fuck you wannabies