will you answer my phone call?

 xiaoyum,mushiman,yapmin,yaptih & aiman mandi kolam 5.30 pagi LOLOL
oh, city has won FA cup tonite 1-0 against stoke city, YAYA TOURE

its a balanced day mixed up with some sour, bitter dark past of mine. i went to times square with momo n paeh, we watch priest. but somehow something from the past came inside my head. i soon realize that the hall that im watching now is the hall where i have my 1st date with helwa. hall 1, seat E 14 and E 15 and it plays SPIDERMAN 3. soon i begin to realize it was 2.15 pm, the same time that the movie aired 3 years ago in the same date happens today. i still have the bus ticket, the cinema ticket back in home. i cudnt focus watching priest since some things just roll itself in my mind, keep looping and looping turning my mind into somewhat a mixture of joy, sadness, coldness, sweetness, cheer and honestly, i dont even know what i am feeling that time.

and last week i made up my mind..
eliza is gone for good. she take permanent contract in UK, while having a new boyfriend there, leaving me in a  big question mark, and a fullstop to her question. its funny when her questions is answered but at the same time i started to ask questions inside.and she's doing well there, her cancer is healing and i dont have to worry no more. 

after these 4 months.i finally realize that. working turns me and my mind a step older. a step matured. really i start to think differently, doing things the way old folks do. anger inside was cooled down, but i am still searching for an answer to this one big questions of all time.

"will you answer my phone call?"

just now i went to downtown mines. i see qina with her new bf perhaps? another awkward moment for me. how i wish to be normal. i wish to be normal. im done fiding low. im done. now im gonna go and start a saving  where i can finally send both of my pain in the ass dad and mom goes to mekah and let me live on my own. im just saying, forget me, i really regret what happen 11 years ago when i was 13. yeah bad parenting u know. sure still i forgive but no matter how hard u try to fix things up, it just dont fix itself like it shud be. so im going to repay with what ever i can. do what ever in my power to do what a son gotta do. and walk away from em.

and right now, i love my job.
i love the sound of the crowd waiting in the office, one by one, screaming, humming, saying things which i can read when i saw their faces and its my job to fix em eventho sometime i've lost it infront of them.thank you god for this opportunity.

and finally.making things, on track, fix it all up. and hopefully, it will answer the main idea and big question in me which is..


6.01 am.
taman mulia, 
bandar tun razak,
ts21821 signing out.



Pink said...

baca belog ko, nampak sangat ke'noob'an aku dalam english. serious i am the noober+noobest! ahahahah. but still, i love your blog qayyum :)