I
last week were harsh. settle insurance motor, pegi naik turun naik balai becos they didnt stamp on my police report, so insurance suruh pegi balik n minta cop, 3 kali datang, malam tak buka la public off la. i mean, come on, dalam tu mesti la ada acting officer yg akan type report kalau org nak datang report polis kalau ada kes ke apa, and tak centralize lansung system. kat jb itu hari aku try la nak pegi cop pon takleh gak. apa entah susahnya cop pengesahan but thats ok. benda yg senang di susahkan. aku faham je protokol, tapi cmon, cop pengesahan, tak perlu sain. and other branch pon sepatutnya boleh tgk report tu by system. sudah la. dah settle dah pun. now we have to waitlah for the insurance company buat claim. and motor baru akan keluar lepas dapat insurance tu.
secondly, the trip to langkawi is ok until my mom tertinggal barang2 because dia berebut2 n terkejar2 apa tak tahu. was angry with her tapi tak sampai hati pula. tak tahu lah kenapa dia bergitu terkejar2 dan beriya2 awal2 pagi. sepatutnya kena chill bcos semua mmg according to plan. rugi dah mcm2 itu ini. takpelah kot takde rezeki. nak buat mcm mana.
me and my mommeh
kami stay di malibest resort. mmg just nice, depan2 tu dah laut, and center jugalah nak kemana2 turun bawah je
lepak di rooftop nexus tunggu sunset sambil tgk pantai cenang 360. new experience.
II.
tak tahu ke tak i should or should not talk about this, tapi entahlah i think i should. honestly, if u ask me, i would like to quit from twt_dota like, for good. i know i have been trying, and trying but somehow i cant. and now that we're getting this and that, which i cant reveal yet, theres one thing that i am afraid. people are not working or take this seriously. i am not sure either its me who overthink, or its not this serious. but yeah, everytime ada benda baru, "these" people akan semangat gila babi, meeting n such, and when it happens, "these" people are no where to be found. all im saying is, wheres the commitment.
i feel sorry for those who have to cover/stand in for them. i know ini semua keje free based on minat n such, but people needed to be thanked, and di hargai. bukan dah habis tinggal. and that is the reason why people leave half way. to have an idea, is easy. to make it work and run it, thats another thing. takat ni aku masih nak amik responsibility lagi. and one more thing aku tak pandai nak cakap elok2, or subtly, sebenarnya, kalau nak ikutkan, takpayah pun aku nak sibuk2 pening memikir ke apa, boleh je tinggal, just aku bukan orang mcm tu. i've started this, and i think i should end this. bila takde apa, semua dah bersepah2 buat itu buat ini fokus dgn keje n so. well, me too. i do have a day job and still have to think about all of these. but u guys pun kenalah betul2 komited. if tak boleh komit or tak boleh elak hal yg u know will happen either u like it or not, or tak boleh sacrifice tido ke game lain ke apa, dont agree. simply put, our organization is not organized and dont think we cud pull this off, with this kind of attitude. kita pun buat suka2.
III.
i have this lady friend. who were always find herself in trouble. and everytime when shes innit, she will look for you. dont know and dont care for whatever reason, to her, everything you said were just plain evil. to destroy her. to bring her down. and yet, shes there, looking for you. and guess what? it was all about her. all the time. her life. her work. her things. her this. her that. and yet i didnt complaint any. tak kira la bila-bila pun, apa-apa pun, mesti about her. it was never about me. including bila motor aku hilang last 2 week, and aku dekat balai tgh buat report. sikit pun aku tak cakap dgn dia pasal tu and dia still sibuk2 nak tanya and complain itu ini. and we somehow get into a serious fight, despite aku lansung taknak pun bertekak dgn dia. aku rasa aku dah habis tolerance dah. and done dgn semua ni. till day one, im with her. and bila aku cakap something and dia rasa dia tak gemar, dia pilih tuk memusuhi aku. sigh.
satu - aku tak rasa aku boleh let everything go. tell things she didnt want to hear. bcos dia bukan jenis boleh hadap realiti punya orang. bagi dia, semua sugar coat. bagi dia, masih ada peluang dalam dunia ni. i dont want to take away that belief from her. biarlah dia rasa sendiri.
dua - nampak je aku kasar n such, tapi dalam lembut. tak sampai hati nak buat kawan, jadi lawan.
tiga - she got to stop thinking that the world revolves around her. and she got to get her mind straight. stop lah cari attention dgn nak complain about things everytime. kita dah besar kot. mmg la bermasalah sebab kita dah mula galas tanggungjawab yg sama ada kita suka, atau tak suka. mend your own shit. live with it. not everything is about you or to against you.
i did lose a friend yg perangai dia lebih kurang sama dgn minah ni. benda simple je. dia tak suka dgn orang yg aku berkawan di internet, so dia choose untuk bencikan aku dan bermusuhkan aku atas sebab simple. and mamat ni mmg ada masalah bipolar ke anger issues (dia fikir aku punya isu letak kat mana? dalam kocek je ke?)
dia take benda social media ni seriusly. aku benci gak few people tapi takde la sampai hari2 nak menganjing, sampai nak benci kawan2 bcos kita ada different opinion from each other. bukan sekali la dia buat hal, last time pun sama, tapi aku buat rilex lagi. but not this time. aku rasa aku tgk muka pon dah meluat. kalau kau tak suka orang, tak suka baca apa orang tweet, ke post status ke, block, mute or buat tak endah, bukan bitch about it mcm takde esok, bukan tak bagi bitch around, bagi je. tapi rilex2 la
biasalah. anak orang kaya. kawan dgn orang2 yg sama level dgn dia, or takde kawan lansung. kawan2 dia sekarang pun kawan aku. tak tahu malu. kalau nak lepak, sikit2 mesti tempat dia. nak datang tempat kita jauh sekali. zaman susah, sapa tolong? dia mana ingat benda tu. time dia down ke apa benda, sapa tolong? dia tak ingat. dia ingat perkara yg dia benci pasal kita.
IV.
lepas dah siap pindah, dah settle down apa semua. aku rasa aku nak start fokus dgn career dan kehidupan. maybe less bersosial dgn orang unless needed to do so. penat sebenarnya. terkejar2 ke sana ke sini. penat dok please orang tapi in the end, kita sendiri tak dihargai. what for? all these time aku rasa aku mcm gunung berapi yg tunggu timing je nak meletop. which is, dangerous to everybody around me. i might snap or lose it, and taknaklah kot meletus sampai orang sekeliling kena. which is bad, kalau it happens. so i would like to keep the distance btw kawan2 for a timed period, and bila aku rasa dah stable n nak jumpa orang. i will do so.
