counting-song H

before this i never had the feeling counting the day to me to balik kampung.but now when in here,uniten,this year,i had that kind of feeling.i miss my buddies so much.really.the bond between my buddies are getting stronger and stronger each days.

well this raya gonna be weird.again i dont know how i'll survive this raya.hopefully i wud.

well the plan for the 1st raya is,go to grandpa's opposite of the house.salam2 with all the cuzzies,aunties and uncles.then i'll off to attufah's,waste the money at bp mall.n then the next day starting to execute plan like always, reunion of ex-sekolah bandar 6 baiduri.well im still the organizer for the 5th year this year.i didnt come out with a plan yet.since i didnt work so hard and didnt work out my brain for almost a year when i finished up my time at uitm,i feel a little bit fatigue in planning and not just a little bit rusty.

true,i fucked up my life back a year im a little bit fucked up with the programming and having difficulties in catching up in the studies but im currently doing my best out here.yes,most of the time im feeling lonely and alone.i didnt have a roomate,i fucked up my mind,end up fucked up taking psychopath medicine just to maintain my sanity.i fucked up my left punching whatever i can.

i wanna let all of this fuckups to go.go for real.changing lifestyles is a real hard deal.i made a lot of sacrifices just to be in here.a lot.i mean it.for those who's been helping me a lot during these fuckups moment,i cudnt say a thousand thanks.i cudnt buy the mountain just to repay back the help i received.i owe u.u saved my fucked up life.

i did too much damage to myself.i dont mind if my time to go now.coz god knows.i wanna live without regrets.i wanna let it all go.i dowanna live in a restraint self.i was blinded.i see that comming.but somehow i cant do anything just to get way from it.i was a talker.not a executor.i keep criticize people,i know how to advice them to get out from the hell hole.but i cant get out myself.ironic.enough with all these fucked up situation.


i'll try to survive.i WILL SURVIVE.


Luna said...

taw pun. penat aku gitaw..


Qayyum Abdul Razak said... too realizing it back!